


Taking Turns

by teletubabe



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friendship, Romance, Single Parents, gadge - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-04-19
Packaged: 2018-09-18 08:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 58,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9375899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teletubabe/pseuds/teletubabe
Summary: Dakota Hawthorne’s parents are trying to make it work.  They broke up before she was born, but they take turns watching over her every week.  As Gale and Madge try to maintain their fragile balance as single parents in their busy lives, Madge feels the scale begin to tip; perhaps she should let it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s finally happening, the Single Parents AU! This first chapter was probably read by some of you when I first posted it a month or two ago, but there were some minor edits (mostly just timeframe stuff), so I suggest you refresh your memory a little bit!

 

Madge Undersee jogs briskly in her painful heels down the sidewalks, into an open street where a car aggressively honks at her.  She waves in apology, but keeps walking quickly hoping she’s not running too late.  This isn’t the first time she’s been late after school in the last few weeks, and she really doesn’t want to make a bad impression on the teacher.

 

Unfortunately when she arrives in the yard of the playground, all the other parents seem to have left and she sees two figures sitting on a bench near the school entrance.  Adjusting her skirt and wind-blown hair from her run over here, she approaches them post haste.

 

“I’m so, so sorry Ms. Trinket, my meeting ran incredibly late,” Madge tries to explain, but the blonde woman shakes her head politely and shrugs it off.

 

“Don’t even worry about it, Dakota and I were just talking about what we did today, what our favourite parts were.”  Madge is so grateful that the kindergarten teacher is fine with her tardiness and doesn’t despise her child.  Johanna always jokes that it’s a good thing Kota took after her mother, and right now Madge hopes it’s true.

 

“Well?” Madge asks.  “What was your favourite part, baby?”  She’s still panting, trying to catch her breath, and when she looks down at her daughter she’s swinging her legs back and forth from the seat on the bench.

 

“Snacktime,” Dakota answers firmly, looking at Madge as if she can’t believe it’s even a question.  The two french braids she had tried so hard to put into Dakota’s hair this morning have fallen out slightly, and loose strands of thin blonde hair frame the four year old’s face.

 

Madge rolls her eyes and holds out her hand, signalling for the young girl to take it and stand up from the seat.  Instead, Kota gives her mom the little backpack she’s been carrying around, and Madge swings it over her shoulder to join her purse and duffel bag she’s been carrying as well.

 

“Alright, I think it’s time to go, KoKo,” she concludes, and Ms. Trinket stands up to in order to bid them farewell.  Madge waves goodbye.  “Thanks so much, Ms. Trinket.  You’re a lifesaver.”

 

“It’s not a problem for me, darling.  It’s my job.” Ms. Trinket explains looking down at Dakota and back up again.  “And if you’re ever running extra late, just call me or the school, I can stay back and keep her company in the classroom.”

 

“I hope it never gets to that point Ms. Trinket, but thank you for the sentiment,” Madge smiles kindly, knowing the woman really does mean it.

 

“Please call me Effie, I don’t think I can do ‘Ms. Trinket’ for another eight months,” the woman insists and Madge nods quickly, internalizing the name.  “Oh and the offer stands for her father as well, let him know.”

 

“I will, I’m dropping her off in a few actually.”

 

“Oh, alright!  Well, I’ll see you in a week then, Ms. Undersee.  Goodbye now!”

 

Madge and Dakota start walking in towards downtown, mindlessly at first, but after a few moments Kota shakes her mother’s hand, begging for attention.  “Where are we going Mama?”

 

“Well I was thinking that you’d want to go get some ice cream from the ice cream store.  The one with the cow?  And then I’ll drop you off at your Dad’s for the week.  Is that okay?”

 

Dakota scrunches her little nose.  “Dad’s?”

 

“Yup.  It’s Friday, remember?”

 

“Oh yeah,” the little girl realizes, nodding her head excitedly but then frowning the tiniest bit.  “What about my bunny?  Where is she?”

 

“Happy Bunny is in here, all of the stuff you bring back and forth are right in this bag, okay?” Madge explains, gesturing to the large blue duffle.  She had to carry the damn thing around with her all day, to work and everything.  But the look on Dakota’s face when she remembers her little stuffed friend makes it worth it.

 

“But Daddy said that  _ we’re _ going to eat ice cream and watch movies together, can I really have  _ two _ ice creams?”

 

Madge groans.  Of course, her attempt at being the better parent falls short once again.  She decides to choose her parental battles, and fighting out who gets to buy Dakota ice cream is definitely not worth the effort.  

 

“You can’t have two ice creams silly,” Madge laughs.  “You’ll have to wait until you get to your father’s then.”

 

So they walk right past the flashy ice cream parlour and Madge sighs to herself just thinking about the mint chocolate chip waffle cone she was planning to buy for herself.  It’s been such a long day at the office, and the weather outside is on the warm side even for summer.  She just wants to unwind, so with Dakota in one hand and three bags flung over her shoulder, Madge pulls out her phone and confirms her plans with Jo tonight with a text.

 

When they round the corner and arrive at the large apartment building, Madge nods her head greeting the doorman, and she nudges Dakota to do the same.  The little one complies, waving one tiny hand at him and giving him a bright smile.

 

In the elevator, Madge quietly observes her daughter as the little one leans against the glass walls and stares at her reflection in the doors.  Kota looks mesmerized, turning her head at all angles and squinting her eyes.

 

“So KoKo, I won’t see you until next Friday, okay?  Are you going to miss me?” Madge jokes.  Of course, her daughter nods vigorously and doesn’t say anything more, but Madge mostly asks the question for personal confirmation.  She wants to know that she’s doing a good job, or is at least trying to.

 

When they get to the 20th floor, Kota skips out of the elevator and knows the way to her dad’s.  Madge lags behind, and by the time she gets to the door Dakota has already knocked, waiting patiently for the door to open.

 

It takes longer than usual, and when Gale opens the door he’s in boxers and a t-shirt, hair still wet and towel draped around his neck.  His daughter extends her arms towards him, so he dips down to pick her up and give her a hug.

 

“Hey KoKo, how’s my lovely lady doing today?” he asks brightly, bouncing her up and down and causing the girl to giggle and squeal.

 

“Good, Daddy,” she replies while being placed back down on the ground.  Immediately she runs into the apartment towards her room, most likely to go play with the toys Gale kept around here.  

 

She passes him their daughter’s tiny blue backpack and the duffel that they’ve appropriately named “the weekly bag.”.  It’s not that heavy, just filled with some of Kota’s essentials, favourite toys and some shoes.  Which leaves Madge standing in front of his doorway, waiting for him to say something.  He looks tanner than when she last saw him, probably from spending busy days out surveying constructions sights.

 

“You can come in if you want, you know?” Gale teases, but Madge shakes her head.  

 

“No, I’m meeting Jo for drinks in half an hour, so I better be on my way.  If I missed packing anything in the weekly bag, just text me.”

 

“I know the drill, happens every Friday, Undersee,” he mentions offhandedly, and Madge is slightly embarrassed; she was just trying to be a helpful reminder.  

 

“Oh also, the teacher, Effie Trinket?  She told me that if you’re running late or can’t pick her up right away to just call her, because she’s offered to watch after Dakota if we need it.  Kind, isn’t she?”

 

“Uh-huh, but that won’t ever happen on my end.  Thanks, though.”  He’s being cold, he obviously is trying to point out how punctual and perfect he is.  

 

Madge sighs.  Because she doesn’t want to stand there and let Gale verbally abuse her, she begins to walk away feeling unburdened by that huge duffle and happy to only be holding her purse.  But Gale halts her, “Wait Madge, I meant to ask you something.”

 

She turns on her heels and gives him an exasperated breath  “Sure, Gale.  What is up?”

 

“My family wants to have dinner next week, on the Saturday.”

 

“And I have Dakota that week, right?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll have just dropped her off”

 

Madge sighs, but nods. “Text me the restaurant you choose and I’ll make the reservation.”

 

“No, they um, want us to go over to the house.”

 

“What?  Why?  It’s not a holiday or anything, a restaurant in the city is convenient to me, you know that.”

 

“They don’t live that far away,” Gale points out and Madge rolls her eyes obnoxiously.  They’re both acting a bit like children, but the predicament they find themself in happens to be a childish one.

 

“You know I hate the suburbs, Gale.”  In the suburbs everything is spaced out and it feels fake.  Madge much prefers busy streets and places that are close by, walking distance for her.  A trip to the suburbs means taking a cab, which Madge would rather not pay for.

 

“Well not everyone grew up in an uptown mansion like you, Undersee,” he grumbles under his breath, and Madge takes two steps closer to him.

 

“I’m doing  _ you _ the favour, remember?  You’re the one who can’t bare to tell your family that we aren’t together anymore.  We haven’t been together since college, I can’t believe we’re still keeping this up.”

 

“It’s just dinner, Madge, don’t make big deal out it,” Gale points out, somehow implying that Madge has a temper.  She doesn’t, she just doesn’t know when these fake dinners and phone calls with Hazelle will end, and at this rate Gale’s mother is going to expect him to propose in the next few months.

 

In the beginning Gale’s height used to intimidate her, make her nervous or inferior somehow.  That was before they’d gotten together in college and started dating in third year.  Then his height started to comfort her, it made Madge feel protected and looked after, but ever since they split Madge is indifferent to Gale’s height.  She barely notices it anymore, and looks him straight in the face with no regard to her chin, jutted upwards to meet his eyes.

 

“I’ll be there, okay?  We’ll take a cab.”

 

“No,” he interjects.  “I'll pick you and KoKo up from your place.  We can’t show up separately, Madge, are you crazy?”

 

Madge rolls her eyes again, choosing her battles for the hundredth time that day.  “Fine.  But wear something new, so we can pretend I bought it for you.”

 

“Are you coaching me on how to see my family?” Gale asks with a playful smirk, and all Madge can do is shrug, already walking away from their dysfunctional relationship.

 

“I don’t know, Hawthorne.  All I know is that this is your mess, not mine.”

 

* * *

 

"He's such a coward," Johanna remarks in distaste, taking another sip of beer and placing her glass down on the wooden bar table.  "I can't believe that he's been lying to his family for Kota's whole life.  That's four whole years of pretending to be a happy family."

 

"He's not a coward, it's just a lie that was taken too far for us to turn back now," Madge tries to justify.  What started as Gale not being able to bear telling his family that his perfect relationship with her had ended before Dakota was born became a complex lie about them still living together, raising her together.

 

"And you!  Why do you put up with this?  Dinner with your ex-boyfriend and the father of your child's family?  I would die.”  Johanna’s exaggerating of course.  Madge knows it’s been a long day for the both of them, and they both need to let off some steam.

 

Madge shakes her head, with no idea what to say.  "I don't know how to explain myself okay?  It's not that big of a burden, it's just dinner every few months for me."

 

"What about your kid, Undersee?  Don't you think she'd be confused if Mommy and Daddy don't live together but pretend to be in love four times a year?"  Johanna’s always been the brutally honest one, and although most times Madge appreciates it, right now she just doesn't want to hear it.  She knows no one understands her relationship with Gale, and the truth is that it's complicated, more complicated than she would like.

 

“I'm not letting this go on forever,” she promises, but her auburn haired friend raises a brow.  “Really, I won't!  I'm just doing him a harmless favour.  But when Dakota gets old enough or either of us find partners, it has to end.  I know that, Jo.”

 

“Okay,” the woman sighs, giving up on their endless argument over Gale Hawthorne.  “I just don’t want you to be pushed over.”

 

Madge appreciates her concern.  “Okay, now can we  _ please  _ talk about something else?”

 

“Sure.  We need to paint the walls in the apartment.”

 

“Something other than our unappealing and overpriced apartment in desperate need of repair,” she begs, but in the middle of her sentence Jo strains her head to look at someone coming in through the bar door.  Then she waves, motioning the person over.

 

“Delly is here, I hope that’s okay.”

 

Madge widens her eyes in delighted surprise.  “Of course, I thought she was busy and couldn’t make it.”

 

“Change of plans,” Delly explains, coming up from behind them and offering two hugs.  “Thom is working late as always, the date was cancelled.  Anyways what are we talking about?”

 

“The apartment, some things we want to change--”

 

“We’re talking about Gale, Madge’s baby daddy who won’t stop using her,” Jo counters, clearly happy to get back to that conversation.

 

“Oh, I love Gale!” Delly exclaims naively, taking off her coat and scarf placing in on the back of the seat.  “He’s so nice and also gorgeous.  Has he got anymore tattoos lately?”

 

The redhead rolls her eyes.  “How would any of us know, Cartwright?”

 

She shrugs innocently and smiles weakly.  “I don’t know, maybe he told Madge or something.”

 

“No, the only things we talk about are his parents, my parents, and like, Dakota’s new favourite colour.”

 

Delly turns her head in curiousity.  “And?”

 

“Still love me even though they shouldn’t, still hate me even though they give me a lot of money and… orange,” Madge lists off, scrunching her nose in distaste and her daughter latest colour choice.

 

Johanna pipes up.  “Your parents are still sending you money?  Why doesn’t it show, the dryer has been broken for weeks.”

 

“It’s not for me.  It’s to send Kota to school, they didn’t want her going to an inner-city daycare.”  It’s ridiculous and overpriced, but Madge won’t object to it if her parents insist on paying for a private school.  Dakota’s school goes from preschool to grade 12, and the plan is for her to stay there based on her parents contributions.  “And we won’t fix the dryer because I calculated out the cost of getting that thing fixed.  It’s cheaper to go to the laundromat every week, our washing machine and dryer are a sham.”

 

“Um, no,” Delly responds, shaking her head.  “Baby private school is definitely more of a sham.”

 

“I’ll drink to that,” Joanna snickers, downing the rest of her beer in one go.

 

After another round and some solid conversation, Madge is warmer again and happy she decided to come out tonight.  She needed to just catch up with her best friends and let loose.  She’s so stressed out with work and Dakota all the time that sometimes she appreciates the fact that Gale takes care of their child half of the time.  It gives her some space to just put her life into perspective and concentrate on herself every now and again.

 

“Delly, how’s everything with Thom?” Madge brings up further into the night.  They’ve been dating on and off for years, and now is the most stable they’ve ever been.

 

“Okay, he’s just working a lot lately,” she nods, obviously having not given it much second thought.  It’s been smooth sailing, and no one questions their own relationship until something goes wrong anyways.

 

Johanna notices this and snorts.  “He is cheating on you, is he?”  It’s a facetious joke, but Delly laughs anyways.

 

“I’m afraid not.  Besides, whenever he gets home he’s always sore from his repair jobs.”

 

This only makes their friend widen her eyes even more and look directly at Madge.  “That’s kinky.  I wonder what he and his mistress are up to.”

 

“Shut your mouth, Mason,” Delly insists, playfully throwing a peanut at her.  Johanna just shrugs.

 

“I wish I could, but I don’t know how to.  The evidence is all there!”

 

“Okay, I think it’s time for us to head out,” Madge decides, putting on her coat and grabbing her purse.  Her friends do the same while still bickering about the silly idea of Thom cheating.  Johanna’s just jibing Delly, she likes to make people angry for fun, and Delly falls right for it every time.  

 

Delly decides to take a cab home, she lives a bit further away than Jo and Madge, and says goodbye to them as they walk out the doors.  They hug and say goodbye, planning to meet up next week to if all of their schedules permit.  Destressing at the bar with her friends is quickly becoming one of Madge’s life essentials, and she doesn’t know if she can last the week without it.

 

Which leaves the two friends walking in the summer night the few blocks it takes to get to their apartment.  They had moved in together after college for economic reasons and because of their friendship, but never did the thought of moving out ever cross their minds.  Living with a roommate is just a better way to exist for Madge; she’d go crazy if it was just her and Dakota in a place by themselves.  Johanna keeps her grounded and out of her head, and Madge keeps Johanna humble.

 

And Kota loves Johanna too.  Sometimes when Madge needs to run an errand Johanna helps to look after her daughter and they have fun times roaming around the city.  Even though Madge knows Jo takes her to places she would never think to bring her daughter - the dingy record store on Queen and to the top of a random office building to look at the view - she knows that her daughter loves it; KoKo and JoJo hitting the town together.

 

The place they share is big enough for all of them but it’s by no standard luxurious.  They pay for it with their own money, there’s no elevator or doorman like at Gale’s place, but it’s home.

 

As they trudge up the stairs, Madge lets out a big yawn that makes Johanna chuckle.

 

“God knows how you’re still awake while handling your work life, home life and romantic life all at once.”

 

“Sorry, romance?  I’m not familiar with that idea anymore…” she jokes, failing to rack her brain for the last time she was in a stable relationship.  “I have another date on Monday.  Hopefully it’s not pitiful and unbearable like the others.”

 

“You’re a catch, Undersee,” Johanna assures as they reach their door, fumbling .  “Where are you finding these clowns you call men?  I fail to comprehend.”

 

Madge shrugs hopelessly, entering their drafty apartment and dumping her bad on the couch.  “We’re compatible!  That’s what all the apps say.”

 

She knows that it’s unlikely she’ll find the love of her life on a dating app, but the statistics exist, surely it’s worth a shot.  Honestly, it’s just a way to convince herself she’s putting herself out there, making an effort in dating.  Madge knows Gale is seeing some girls, having his own fun, and she just doesn’t want to make it seem like she has too much on her plate to make room for romance too.

 

Madge thanks her past self for making the bed this morning and falls back onto the mattress, finally relaxing and revelling in that feeling.  Her feet have been aching all day, and she makes the mental note to buy a pair of comfortable work heels sometime soon.

 

“Do you think Gale has ruined me?” she ponders out loud, knowing that Johanna’s across the hall, starting her own nighttime ritual.

 

As expected, Jo appears at her doorway with a toothbrush in her mouth.  “Why, because you fell in love with an Adonis who’s smart, funny and everything you ever dreamed of  _ except _ for emotionally present and now you have to see him every week and be reminded that your expectations of love will never be fulfilled the way you imagined they were back in college?”

 

“Yeah, that,” Madge nods, contemplating her romantic future as more of a tragedy than anything else.

 

“No,” Johanna shrugs, answering her own question.  “I think that you just need a guy who will pay attention to you and understand your needs and that would be 100% better than anything that Gale gave you.  And that’s not too hard to find, Madge.  It’s just not something someone would write on their dating profile, you know?”

 

“Okay,” she concedes, putting her insecurities aside for now.  Changing into her pajamas and heading to her own bathroom she methodically washes her face and brushes her teeth, feeling more clean and less grimey than before.  

 

Madge wonders if Gale and Dakota are still up watching TV, or whether her little girl in already sound asleep in her own little blue room.  Gale had set it up for her when they started alternating weeks, when Kota no longer had to be breastfed and he insisted on moving on through the rest of their lives.

 

When KoKo’s here, she just sleeps next to Madge, snuggling up beside her and keeping her warm.  Madge knows she’ll have to clean out the spare room for her someday, but Kota likes it better and frankly so does she.  Perhaps, Gale is a better parent with having fun and giving her things, but Madge would like to think that Kota knows how much her mother loves her, how much she wants her to be loved and love everyone else.

 

_ My biggest fault was never knowing how to love, _ she thinks to herself as she tucks herself in under the covers.  She was never paid attention to by her parents, she didn’t know what love was, so when Gale came around it hit her like a ton of bricks.  She fell endlessly and impossibly in love with him, and she didn’t realize that love wasn’t all it was made out to be.  Hopefully Dakota is cherished and pays it forward when she’s younger, so she’ll be smart and sparing with love when she grows up.

 

Madge can only hope, and those are her last thoughts before her busy, busy day knocks her dead.  She’s asleep in minutes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the first chapter! Please let me know what you thought in the comments. I’m so incredibly excited to be starting this new story!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The update is a little early, but I couldn't wait. Enjoy!

On Monday, Madge goes to work.  It's a job at a radio company, a company that manages a pop radio station in the city.  Madge is an assistant to one of the producers, but she pulls more weight than she should.

 

One of the only perks about her week off from Dakota is that she can wake up later, so Madge takes her time getting out of bed and taking the subway to work.  She doesn't have to take the long way around to Kota's school either, and when she makes it into the office there's still time to spare before work officially starts.  Her colleagues are just starting to trickle in, so Madge can take a breath.

 

Her boss probably won't be here for a while, which is typical, so Madge decides to wander into the studios to enjoy her cup of coffee.  It's always fun to listen into the station, which is why she makes her way down the hall where the production team is. She peeks her head into the studio and smiles at the man on the inside of the glass, talking into the microphone.

 

"Alright folks, I'm Finnick Odair and you're listening to 96.6 Capital Pop FM Radio, I hope you're having a great morning and I'll see you after this commercial break.  Thanks!"

 

Madge almost laughs at how cheery Finnick has to act on air.  He takes off his headphones and leaves the booth, letting out a sigh and giving her a friendly nod of a greeting.  "Hey Madge, Haymitch isn't in yet?"

 

She shakes her head and checks her watch.  "When is he ever at this hour?"

 

"I guess when you're the producer of a multi-million dollar media company, you're allowed some wiggle room," her friend deadpans, reaching for a bottle of water from a little craft services table they set out for all radio hosts.  Hosts of the station practically have celebrity status, and Madge knows for a fact there are a couple of other companies trying to buy Finnick's voice from them.

 

"For sure," she replies to his remark.  "But I wish I had a heads up every now and then, so that I can sleep in or go to the gym."

 

"The gym?  What's that?" Finnick jokes.

 

"I don't know, I heard it does wonders for your body and your mind," she jibes back, and they both smile briefly at their shared, sarcastic sense of humour.  When she looks at the countdown for the commercial break dwindling, she realizes she should probably leave him alone.  "Okay, I think I'm going to go."

 

"Cool, I'll catch you after my segment," he nods, and Madge starts to walk out the door of the studio before Finnick interrupts.  "Oh, Madge, I've been meaning to ask you something."

 

"Sure, what's up?"

 

"You know Annie in publicity?"

 

"Yep."

 

"I want her number," he smirks playfully, and Madge rolls her eyes.  Of course he wants Annie's number, she's just his type.  Shy and quiet, mysterious apparently.  "Could you talk to her a little bit, just to see if she's interested?"

 

“I can tell you now, she won’t go for you,” Madge laughs.  “But sure, why not.  If I see her I’ll do a quick name drop.”

 

Finnick gives her a million dollar smile.  “Thanks Madgelene.”

 

“That’s not my name, it was never my name,” she reminds for the hundredth time, shaking her head at the ridiculous fake name he decided to give her.  It’s sometimes hard for people to understand that “Madge” doesn’t stand for anything, it’s just what she’s called.  Finnick makes some silly comeback as she walks out of the studio and back to the office space where she’s set up.

 

Madge probably won’t say anything to Annie about it for now; knowing Finnick, he fluctuates quite frequently with his tastes and she’ll give him time to let the idea settle in before he really makes up his mind.

 

Back at her desk, she spends some time just sorting through her emails and making sure she’s up to date with company updates.  Before a real day of work starts she likes to ensure that she's organized and prepared; almost two years of working here has taught her that much.

 

Haymitch is just coming into his office when she finished the task, and he grumbles an uttered thanks when he picks up the cup of coffee already sitting on the desk.  It’s been there for a couple of minutes already due to his tardiness, but that isn’t Madge’s fault and she doesn’t really think he’ll notice anyways, so she doesn’t bother to say anything about it.

 

“Is there an agenda?” he asks routinely, and Madge places the list of organized meetings and sessions on his desk.

 

Haymitch reads it over quickly and shakes his head.  “No this is wrong, it’s out of date.”

 

“What do you mean?  I cross referenced all your calendars, this should be right.”

 

Her boss scans his finger up and down the schedule and points his index down on one meeting around lunchtime.  “We don’t need to have this meeting anymore.”

 

“Why is that?”

 

“I had drinks with those guys last night, we closed the deal and everything.  Great guys.”  Of course, that explains why he’s late and looks like trash.  Haymitch is nothing if not proactive with any opportunity to go out for drinks, even if that means arranging his own last minute meetings. 

 

“Okay, I wasn’t made aware that you were doing that, I guess I can fix something else in that you have scheduled.  Just give me a second,” she responds politely.  She leaves his office and returns to her desk just outside and begins to rewrite today’s agenda.

 

Haymitch has a lot of people and companies waiting to see him, so it’s no problem getting someone scheduled in for the original slot of that other meeting.  She just needs to write up a few emails, make a few calls and wait for their responses.  She’s in the middle of doing so when her phone buzzes quietly in her purse.  Madge isn’t supposed to, but she takes it out and hides it under the desk to read what was sent.

 

It’s from Gale:   _ Hey, kota’s doing show-and-tell at school and says she needs something at your place.  Can we come by after school?  Should be fast. _

She keys in a quick reply:   _ Yeah, np.  Going out tonight though so don’t be too late. _

 

Madge doesn’t mention that she’s going out on a date with that guy she found on her little dating app.  It’s not a detail worth mentioning to her.  And she knows that Gale said that they’re going to stop by right after Dakota’s school is out, but knowing Gale he’ll probably find some way to get distracted and show up an hour later.  He's reliable when it counts but really couldn't care less in any other circumstance.

 

Madge finishes up the agenda and forwards it to Haymitch, not bothering to print it out again because that would only waste time.  It’s frustrating that it looks like she’s doing a bad job when really everything that goes wrong it out of her control.  She feels like Haymitch’s expectations of her work are already so low, following along with basic orders are almost an achievement.  Which is stupid; Madge works hard and wants to show everyone what she can do, but clearly not everything works out the way we want them to.

 

After another gruesome day at work she hurries home on the subway, and she hears Jo in the kitchen before she opens the door.  Surely, her roommate is at the stove watching over a pot while reading a book.

 

“Hey Jo, what are you making?” Madge asks curiously, trying to smell the aroma to pick up any hints.

 

Johanna picks up an empty can and reads it off.  “Alphabet soup.”

 

“Dammit Jo, that was for KoKo, what is wrong with you?”

 

“I’m hungry, long day at work,” she replies.  “Do you want some?”

 

“I’m good thanks.  I have a date, remember?”

 

“Oh yeah, with Prince Charming #500.  Totally forgot.”

 

Madge ignores her friend’s snide comment and hurries into her room and puts down her work stuff, and she begins to scour her closet for what she should wear tonight.  She’s meeting her date in an hour, which should be plenty of time to get ready and prepare herself for when he comes.

 

She decides on a little black dress, one that leaves her shoulders bare so that the sleeves start on her arms.  It’s comfortable and not too hard to pull off, and Madge doesn’t feel like trying too hard on her outfit tonight.  Instead, she concentrates on her hair and makeup, taking the time at her vanity to curl her hair and make herself look a little bit less tired, a bit more appealing.

 

She’s halfway through drawing on her smoked out eyeliner when there’s a knock on her door.

 

“Jo, can you answer it?  It’s Gale and Dakota.”

 

She hears a slight groan and her friend thumping over to the door, clearly unhappy to see Gale.  Johanna has no real grudge against him, but she’s said so much shit about him while trying to cheer Madge up that she almost has to subscribe to the persona.  They actually get along quite well in real life, friendly bickering included.

 

The door swings open and Madge can’t help but listen in on their conversation.

 

“KoKo!” Johanna exclaims with an exaggerated excitement.  She probably hugs her and tickles her too, because Madge hears her daughter squealing and giggling back.

 

“Auntie JoJo,” Dakota greets playfully, and Madge smiles to herself in her room.  She’s so happy that her daughter loves her best friend too, no matter how blunt she can be.  Honestly Kota probably hasn’t picked up on it yet, Johanna’s always sweet on the little girl.

 

“Hey Mason,” Gale mutters.  “Is Madge around?”

 

“Yeah, she’s around.  She’s getting ready for a hot date,” Johanna states, and Madge rolls her eyes.  That was so unnecessary.

 

“Is Mommy in our room?” Dakota asks loudly.  Johanna probably nods, because soon Madge hears tiny footsteps and Kota is in the room, running up to the vanity.

 

“Mommy,” she greets simply, raising her arms up to indicate she wants to be placed on her lap.  Madge puts down her eyelash curler and hoists her up, placing her daughter on her thighs so that they’re both looking into the mirror.  She tries to smooth out her daughter’s pale hair, which is so fine that some strands are flying loose.  Gale did a surprisingly good job gathering it into two pigtails, though.  She kisses Kota’s little cheek and bounces her up and down, happy that she’s getting to see her even though it’s not her week.

 

“Hey baby,” she smiles lovingly.  

 

“Can you give me a makeover?” Kota asks playfully, eyeing all of the beauty products longingly.  Madge laughs softly, because her daughter already knows the answer to that question.

 

“Not until you’re older.  Besides, you're already so beautiful.”

 

“Can I give _ you  _ a makeover.”

 

“On another day.  I'm almost done, it wouldn't be any fun to not start from the beginning,” Madge explains, and Kota nods obediently and continues to stare.  So Madge bounces her legs up and down once more to get her attention.  “What are you and Daddy up to today?”

 

“We’re collecting stuff for my show-and-tell.”

 

“And why are you here?”

 

“Because Ms. Trinket said that we need to find something that reminds us of our best friends, or has a story that has to do with our friends,” Dakota explains, but she’s also playing with a piece of her mom’s curled hair.

 

“That sounds super cool, KoKo.  Are you looking for anything in particular?  Something from your adventures with Auntie Jo?”

 

“Yes.  The magic rocks we found at the park,” she explains simply, and Madge has no idea what she’s talking about.  Johanna always makes up harmless stories whenever she takes her places, and Kota rants on and on about them for weeks.

 

“Okay, why don’t you go ask Johanna if she knows where the rocks are?  I’m sure she can help you right now.”

 

Dakota scurries off once again, and Madge hears her and Jo talking about the magic rocks.  They’re still in Johanna’s room flipping through some stuff when Madge finishes her makeup and wanders out to the living room, where surely Gale is boring himself to death.

 

“Hey Gale,” she greets coolly.  Despite the fact that they’ve been broken up for almost half a decade, raising a kid together sure means they have to see each other an awful lot.  It’s frustrating, but Gale’s not an unbearable person to be around.  They’re friends, they have to be, and they’re good at small talk for what it’s worth.  It's just the big conversations that their horrible at.

 

Gale looks up from his phone and for a second he just stares at her, perhaps not used to seeing her outside of her disheveled workplace attires.  “Hey Madge.  You look good.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Hot date, eh?” he grins, and Madge rolls her eyes again to the same phrase.

 

“No, nothing that hot.  Probably the opposite actually,” she admits.  Madge digs through the front closet and finds the clutch she was looking for, so she begins to transfer some of her essentials from her normal purse to the smaller one.

 

“Hey, you never know.  Could be fruitful.”

 

Madge thinks about it, decides he’s wrong and gives him a hopeful shrug instead of refuting him.  “How’s your job?”

 

“Great, yeah, really awesome.  I’ve been doing a lot of overseeing, but my boss gives me early shifts so I have a lot of afternoons off.”

 

She knows very little about Gale’s job as a structural engineer, except for the fact that he does the math and physics bit of construction projects.  Even when they were in college, neither of them really took the time to ask about each other’s studies.  They were too wrapped up in their infatuated relationship to ask about menial things like that.

 

So she just nods enthusiastically.  “Cool.”

 

“It’s alright,” he shrugs back.  “We’re still good for Saturday, right?”

 

Madge nods obediently, dreading the dinner with Gale’s pleasant but oblivious family.  Then, Kota runs back out of the room with a couple of colourful rocks, which she hands to Gale.

 

“Daddy I got the rocks.  Can you hold them for me?” she asks with an adorable smile.  Gale nods and puts the rocks into his pocket, then bringing Kota up to sit on his lap.  She hugs her dad’s neck and when she looks over at Madge, her eyes light up.  “Dad, she’s pretty!  Mommy is like a princess and you’re the prince!”

 

“I know, she’s beautiful.  I already told her that,” Gale responds, ignoring her hopeful tone.

 

“You might as well tell her that Madge’s hideous, it would make things less confusing,” Johanna snorts walking out of her room.

 

Gale looks right at Dakota with comically wide eyes, mouthing the words, “Don’t listen to her!”

 

“KoKo, do you want some soup?” Jo asks over him, and Dakota nods and squeals, running off to the kitchen clearly loving all the attention.

 

It’s absolute chaos in her own home, so Madge decides to dip out.  “Okay, I’m going to be on my merry way.”

 

She puts on a thin coat and examines herself one last time.  It’s a job well done, and Madge knows that when she looks at her reflection.  It leaves her hopeful for a good date tonight, maybe it’ll be different than usual.  Gale’s voice snaps her out of her train of thought, calling her name.

 

“Undersee.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Don’t forget dinner on Saturday, okay?”

 

“Of course,” she nods, slipping on her heels and dropping her pair of keys into the clutch.  “I could never forget, trust me.”

 

“Have fun babe!” Johanna calls out from the kitchen counter where she’s hanging with Dakota.  

 

Her own daughter waves too.  “Bye Momma!”

 

Madge can’t help but smile to herself when she gets out of the door.  Her home life might be complicated and dysfunctional, but it seems to work out somehow.

 

* * *

 

The date is fine.  Well, it’s typical of most of the dates she’s been on lately.  Only mildly unpleasant, and generally satisfying in the sense where Madge picked a great restaurant and he pays for her meal.  She finds a new place every time, because she’s disproportionately anxious about the waiters and waitresses seeing her twice with different men.

 

“What was it you said you did again?” this one asks.  His name is Anthony, and he’s dressed well.  Madge was hopeful when she first saw him until she realized this one was a bit daft.

 

“I work at a radio company, Capital FM,” Madge nods, picking at her pasta deliberately.

 

“Oh, no way!  I listen to them all the time in my car,” he exclaims, and Madge smiles politely.  She hopes this one isn’t crazy about Finnick too, because it wouldn’t be the first time.  “Are you a host?”

 

“No, I mostly do PR, behind the scenes stuff,” she shrugs, and he looks impressed enough.  But she knows he’s probably dying to talk about his own work too, so she coughs.  “What do you do?”

 

“Well, I work at a marketing firm,” Anthony replies smugly.

 

“Cool,” Madge responds shortly, realizing she’s on a date with a marketing guy.  They’re always cocky or somehow convoluted in the ways of getting women, at least with the ones she’s gone out with.  

 

“Yeah, it’s alright.  I work pretty standard hours, but we’re like a family, you know?  All of us boys, it’s a good place to be.”

 

“Have you marketed anything I would recognize?”

 

He stops as if to think hard, and then he lights up.  “You know the toothpaste jingle?  The one that’s been playing on television lately?”

 

“Yes, of course!” Madge replies, happy they’ve found common ground.  “I know all the words.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really, my daughter loves it.  She can’t get enough,” she laughs, casually planting the idea of her having a child into the conversation.  His face doesn’t show too much panic, but he’s obviously very surprised.

 

“Daughter, eh?” he asks after a little bit of time.  It’s awkward.

 

“Yeah,” Madge nods deliberately.  “She’s four.”

 

“That's cool,” he lies, as if she doesn't know he’s ready to sprint out of the restaurant.  This always happens, they realize that she’s a mom and don’t know how to tell her that she’s not what they’re looking for.  Madge has long stopped caring though.  She loves Dakota more than anything, and if a guy can’t tolerate that she’s not going to throw herself a pity party.

 

The date plays out ritualistically, with polite conversation and a couple of awkward pauses.  Anthony actually doesn’t seem like a horrible guy, he’s funny and doesn’t take things too seriously.  If she had met him three years ago, she probably would’ve moped and felt sorry for herself because this guy doesn’t want to date a mother.

 

And at the end they skip dessert and split the bill.  They walk out of the restaurant briskly and Madge is more than ready to be on her way.

 

“It was nice to meet you,” she says, and Anthony shrugs humbly.

 

“Yeah, right back at you.  If at any point we’re both not too busy, we should meet up again.”  It’s an empty promise, but Madge doesn’t call him out on it.  What would be the point?  They hug and she’s gone, hailing a cab and heading home.

 

It’s exhausting, dating to no avail.  Madge wonders if Gale has the same trouble, but he definitely does not.  He’s a natural flirt, and girls are even more interested when they find out he’s a loving father.

 

When she gets home, she expects Jo to be there, but the apartment is empty.  Maybe hanging out with Delly is running particularly late, and Madge feels a lonely draft through their home.  It’s on nights like these when she really misses Dakota, misses having her there and watching her sleep.  It’s not a healthy thought, but she figures that 50% of her life right now is spent lonelily existing, living day by day just cycling through a routine.  When her daughter is home she’s busy, but she’s also more excited, more eager to get up every morning.

 

It’s exhausting, living one week while counting down the days until she gets to see her daughter and the next week is spent counting down the days she has left.

 

Madge shouldn’t do this to herself, right?  It seems like torture, it’s been years and she should be used to the routine by now.

 

But four, is the answer.  Four more days. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still a lot of setup, but the dinner is next week! Anyway, what did you guys think? Please let me know in the comments, opinions and words of motivation are always appreciated. Thanks so much for reading. :)


	3. Chapter 3

When Madge starts to wake up on Saturday morning, the sun is already fully out and shining into the bedroom.  It's probably been that way for hours, because it’s the smell of pancakes and bacon that lured her out of slumber and now, out of bed.

 

She wanders lethargically into the kitchen and Johanna and Dakota are singing along to the radio.  Jo’s manning the griddle and watching over breakfast and Kota is watching in awe, covered in batter.  Madge silently scolds her friend for getting her daughter this messy, but she’s going to have to clean her daughter up before going to the Hawthornes’ today anyways.

 

“Morning, Madge,” the redhead says cheerfully, taking out a fresh plate and adding a short stack of pancakes to it.

 

“Hey Jo, thanks for cooking,” she smiles.  Johanna likes to prepare real meals for them every once in awhile, and there's nothing that Madge looks forward to more.  The process is messy and unmethodical, but the outcome is always a delicious, hearty feast.  Madge turns to Kota sitting on the stool and gives her pale head a kiss.  “Good morning, baby.”

 

“Hi Mommy,” Dakota smiles back.  It’s a toothy and giggly one, and Madge doesn’t even care that she’s chewing with her mouth open.

 

“When did you wake up?”

 

The little girl shrugs after thinking about it for a while.  “You were still sleeping so I came out to help Auntie JoJo.”

 

It's only then that Madge looks at the clock; it's almost eleven, and she rarely lets herself sleep in that long.  Johanna knows that too when she hands her the plate of food.  She gladly accepts it and sits down on the barstool next to Dakota.  “You must've been really tired.”

 

“Yeah, just a long week,” she tries to justify.  For some reason her time at work this week and the boring date on Monday exhausted her more than those kinds of things usually do.  The days all seem to meld together when Dakota’s not there, and she could barely wait when Gale dropped her off yesterday.  He gave her a brief greeting and what seemed like the 100th reminder of their plans to see his family the next day.  He always thinks she’s forgetful for some reason, but Madge knows it’s just because he subconsciously tries to control everything, he used to do it all the time.

 

“Are you better now?” Kota asks sweetly, picking at her cut up bits of pancake with her plastic fork.

 

“I'm perfect, thanks for asking, KoKo.”  Madge and Gale had decided to treat her like an adult or a friend years ago after reading countless parenting books.  It seems to be working, and Madge likes to think it's making her daughter more polite and socially conscious.

 

The peppy song on the radio ends, and a voice pipes up.

_ “What a great song request from Gabriel, thanks man, for calling in to Capital FM.  I’m Finnick Odair and if you have any songs that you want to hear, give us a call!” _

 

“He’s always working, isn’t he?” Jo asks, nodding at the radio.  She and Finnick had become rather good friends after Madge introduced them.  Even though he basically makes his own hours, Madge couldn’t imagine needing to be at the office on Saturday mornings too.  She can barely stand being there five days a week.

 

“Yeah, he’s the star of Capital FM after all.”

 

“Gee.  I’m so glad I work normal person hours,” she comments, shoving some pancakes in her mouth too.  Jo’s done cooking, and the kitchen is left in complete disarray.  Pancake ingredients and utensils are spread everywhere and the whole apartment smells like bacon, but there’s no other way Madge would want her Saturday morning to be like.

 

After eating they start to clean up while Dakota watches some cartoons on TV.  She’s a hyperactive kid who would only be able to concentrate on the show for an hour or so, but it’s just enough time for Madge and Jo to tidy up the mess.

 

“What are you doing today?” Jo asks as she wipes down the counter.  Madge is at the sink, scrubbing away.

 

“Going to see Gale’s family, remember?” she reminds with a slight annoyance in her tone.

 

“Oh yeah, shit.  That should be fun.”  It’s sarcasm.

 

Madge doesn’t know how to respond, so instead she concentrates on the dishes for a couple of minutes, and her friend doesn’t pry.  When the griddle and all their plates are neatly placed on the drying rack, she finally shrugs and sighs.  “It’s not that bad, they’re nice people.  It’s just that we always end up fighting, and I thought that was why we broke up.  So that we’d stop fighting.”

 

“It’s not that easy, I guess,” Johanna offers, and Madge snorts.

 

“No shit.”  The noises of the cartoon are too loud for Dakota to overhear, otherwise they’d both be more careful with their language.  “What about you?”

 

“I think I’m going to run some errands, then I’m going to meet up with Dell.”

 

“Have fun without me,” Madge offers.

 

“We always do,” she teases back, and despite the fact that Madge dreads going to dinner tonight in the suburbs, a late breakfast and some quality time with her friend always make up for it.

 

Jo goes out an hour or so after that, and Madge joins Kota on the couch.  She’s surprisingly attentive to the television today, so Madge cuts up an apple and urges her to eat it.

 

“Can I drink juice, Mommy?”

 

“You can have some juice for lunch, okay?  I want you to eat this apple for now.”  Madge strokes her daughter’s hair and looks at Dakota fondly as she nibbles on an apple wedge and stares at the TV.  It’s a lazy day, but she doesn’t seem to mind for now.

 

“Mommy?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Are we going to see Grandma today?” Kota asks curiously.  Madge had never directly brought it up, but her daughter’s always been a great listener, so she nods in response.  Her little face automatically lights up in a toothy smile, bouncing up and down on the couch.  “Going to Grandma’s is my favourite.”

 

“Why is that, Kota?” Madge asks curiously.  “Is it because you love her cooking?”

 

“No,” she responds, shaking her head and smiling coyly.

 

Madge angles her head to pretend she’s thinking and mimics a confused face.  “Hm… Is it because you love going to see Auntie Posy, and Uncle Vick and Rory?”

 

“No.”

 

“Why then?”

 

“Because when we go to Grandma’s I get to be with you  _ and _ Daddy,” Dakota points out, and Madge bites back a sigh.  Even when they’ve explained countless times that they’re not together and that going to Hazelle’s was a one time thing, Kota can’t help but get excited.  Madge can’t blame her, she would’ve given anything when she was a kid to see her parents happy together.

 

“You know the drill right?” she asks cautiously.  

 

Kota nods.  “We’re all living together, and let you or Daddy do the talking,” she repeats.  It’s a tiny rule she’s willing to follow if it means she gets to spend time with Gale’s family, but Madge still feels her heart hurt a little bit.  It’s unfair, they might be awful parents.  But they can’t stop it now, at least not tonight.

 

They kill a little more time during the afternoon, Madge helps Dakota with some picture books that Ms. Trinket let her borrow.  They’re all drawings that she has to try to identify the names of, and Madge is happy that her daughter seems to be on top of it.  Kota’s always been bright, and Madge loves to brag about it as a proud mom should.

 

At four thirty Gale picks them up, after Madge put on something nice and dressed Kota in a cute romper that Delly bought for her a few months ago.  The drive to the suburbs is rather long for her tastes, and she’s dreading the ride and the tense conversation that’s imminent.

 

“Hey Kota,” Gale nods from the driver’s seat while Madge straps her into the car seat.  He’s wearing a freshly pressed shirt, as she suggested, and he keeps his sunglasses on. 

 

“Hi Daddy,” the little girl greets routinely.

 

“Long time no see, princess,” he jokes, and Madge rolls her eyes.  They were together yesterday, and she always urges him not to be sarcastic around her.  It’s not a type of humour she wants Dakota to learn, but apparently Gale can’t control himself.

 

And of course, the little girl doesn’t get it.  “I saw you yesterday, silly.”

 

That makes Madge snicker when she slides into the passenger seat of Gale’s SUV.  It’s probably not a car suited to his bachelor lifestyle, but he bought it with the intent of driving their kid around, after all.  “Are you okay back there, baby?”

 

Kota nods excitedly, holding onto her little stuffed bunny she insisted on taking with her.  Everything seems to be set for now, so they drive off through the busy downtown streets towards the outskirts.

 

They listen to music (anything but Capital FM, the thought of work is enough to make her feel nauseous) through the weekend traffic, and Madge barely looks over at Gale twice.  She thinks that they should be talking, doing some method acting for the hours to come.

 

“Is Rory going to be home today?” she asks curiously.  The second oldest Hawthorne is studying at college somewhere upstate, but he comes to visit home often.  Vick just graduated the year before, but he’s taking a gap year to work and save up for trade school.

 

Gale shakes his head.  “No, it’s just Mom, Pose and Vick tonight.”

 

She nods at his curt answer, not really expecting warm conversation on evenings like this.  He surprises her though after a couple more minutes when he calls her name.  

 

“Thanks, though.  For doing this, Undersee.  I know it’s a chore and that you hate it, but you help me anyways.”

 

“Sure,” Madge nods, not really knowing how to respond.  She  _ could _ voice all her qualms with the circumstance and tell him that she doesn’t want to do this anymore, but that wouldn’t be productive or helpful towards the conversation.  So she bites her tongue on that one.  “We help each other, we have to.”

 

“Yeah,” Gale agrees, pausing in his speech to make a turn at a traffic light.  When he successfully turns left, he speaks up again.  “It’s just that if I can do this one small thing to keep my family happy, why wouldn’t I, you know?”

 

He grew up being the one person they’re family relied on, Madge knows that he thinks he needs to be a role model or something.  If they stopped the act now, they’d be devastated.  It’s a vicious cycle but neither one of them have a solution.

 

When they get to the house, planted in a boxy and spread out neighbourhood in the suburbs, Dakota is practically jumping out of her seat.  It’s actually a nice place, every garden has beautiful flower beds and the whole suburb is just cleaner than the city.  But Madge is an uptown girl forever, she’s bias towards bustling city life.

 

It’s Posy who opens the door.  She’s seventeen now, a sweet and intelligent girl who only sees the good in everyone.  Although she’s taller and her features are more angular than when Madge and Gale were dating five years ago, her personality’s all the same.  He used to tell her that he was scared that he had sheltered his little sister too much, because now she trusts everyone.

 

First she gives her older brother a tight hug, then the same to Madge and finally, she leads Dakota into the house and takes her tiny hand.  “Hey guys, I feel like I haven’t seen you all in forever.  You’ve grown so much, Kota!”

 

“Hi Pose, is Mom in the kitchen?” Gale asks, and his sister nods.  Madge is still amazed by how alike they look and act.

 

So Madge follows him into the kitchen where Hazelle Hawthorne is diligently watching over the stove.  Posy takes Dakota upstairs to keep her company, there are probably a couple more minutes before dinner. 

 

“Ma,” he greets, and Hazelle turns around with a loving, sad smile on her face.  She hugs her tall son and kisses his cheek.

 

“Gale,” she whispers, looking over his shoulder and breaking the hug and heading over to Madge.  “Madge, how are you?”

 

“I’m wonderful Hazelle, thank you so much for having us,” she smiles, a bit overwhelmed by all the embraces.  

 

“It was due time for you all to come visit us, Gale barely tells me anything when I call him to catch up.”  Madge silently muses on that one, but doesn’t say anything more.  “Dinner is coming soon, do either of you want some wine?”

 

“I um-  _ we,  _ brought a bottle actually,” she mentions, almost forgetting about the bottle that she picked up and wrapped for dinner.  Gale makes quick and appreciative eye contact at her, he definitely forgot about bringing a gift.  She holds it up and places it on the counter.  “It’s the winery that you were telling me about last time, the one from Napa.”

 

“Oh, Madge, you’re always so thoughtful.  Thank you, let’s get it open, shall we?”

 

They open the wine and snack on a delicious dip that Hazelle set out for them.  Even if she dreads coming here, Madge always misses Hazelle’s cooking.  She grew up on catering and impersonal dishes cooked by house staff, and it feels good to eat something that feels homey and intimate.  Madge had always felt that way when she would visit Gale’s family.

 

“Where’s Vick?” Gale grumbles when Posy and Kota come back into the kitchen to join the adults.  Her hair is braided into a neater style than Madge would even attempt, and it makes her internally sigh.

 

“He’s working,” Posy responds, “His shift should’ve ended ten minutes ago, he’ll be home soon.”

 

“Is he still working at the shop?” 

 

“Yup.”  Vick’s been working part-time at their local mechanic since junior year, and he’s really good at it too.  Not that Madge knows anything about cars, she has a license but hasn’t used it since high school when she would drive her aunt’s old car.  There’s just no reason to drive around the city for her, everything is walkable or accessible through transit.

 

“Still seeing that guy?”

 

“Mhm,” Posy responds.  “His name is Russel.”

 

“Is he coming here?” Madge adds on.  She always hears about Vick’s boyfriend but never gets to meet him, and she wants too.

 

“No, there not  _ really _ together.  They were but then they graduated, and now they’re both trying to figure themselves out.  Cliché, I know.”  Posy explains it pretending to be nonchalant, but Madge knows that she’s eating the drama right up.  When she looks down at Kota she’s scrunching her little nose, confused by the complicated relationship.

 

Just as Posy finishes, the front door opens and in steps Vick, greasy and still in his scrubs.  The first person he bumps into when he walks into the dining area is Madge.  “Hey Madge.”

 

“Hi Vick, how are you doing?”

 

“Good, I would give you a hug but I’m filthy,” he states, and they both laugh quietly.  He signals to Hazelle a greeting and then nods towards the stairs.  “Ma, I’m just going to go upstairs and get changed, scrubbed up a little bit.”

 

So they sit down at prepare to eat while Vick cleans up in his room.  Hazelle made roast chicken and a bunch of hearty vegetables, and Madge’s stomach begins to growl.

 

“It smells  _ sooo  _ good!” Dakota exclaims, smiling from her booster seat.  

 

“Thank you, Dakota,” her grandmother responds.  “I made it all for you, baby girl.”

 

Hazelle probably misses being a mother.  All her kids are grown up now, almost all gone from the house.  It’s no wonder that she would want Gale and Madge to bring Kota here, she misses the sound of children busying up the home.

 

Vick comes down and they eat.  At first it’s mostly just silence, everyone’s so starving that they’re too busy scarfing down the food to make conversation.  Gale sees how hungry she is and offers to cut up the food for Dakota instead, which is nice of him.

 

“So, how’s the apartment?” Gale’s mom asks after a while.  She looks back and forth at him and Madge and Madge just stares at Gale, waiting for him to answer.  It’s his apartment that they’re allegedly living in together after all.

 

He coughs to clear his throat.  “It’s great, yeah.  Just got the bathroom re-done.”

 

“Thrilling,” Vick jokes sarcastically, making eye contact with Posy who laughs under her breath.

 

“Victor,” his mom scolds.  “I want to hear about my son’s busy life, is that not allowed?”

 

“It is, I’m sorry,” he responds, clearly well trained in how to irk his mother to no end.  “It’s just that Gale gives me very little to look forward to in terms of adulthood.”

 

“What do you mean?  Gale has a great job, a beautiful daughter, a wonderful  _ girlfriend _ and-”

 

He chortles.  “Please, Mom.”

 

“No, I know what Vick means,” Posy insists.  “Like we always hear about his plumbing and his boss and what Kota’s doing at school but we never get to hear about the interesting stuff.”

 

“What’s interesting to you Pose?” Gale offers, and Madge avoids making eye contact with his family.  She feels slightly awkward right now, so instead she turns to Kota and makes sure she’s eating everything.

 

“I don’t know, I want to hear about how you  _ feel _ about everything.  Like how are things between you two?  Do you have time for dates and stuff like that?”

 

They share a brief moment of eye contact and slight panic, but they’ve been doing this for years.  Madge feels his arm wrap around her shoulder and pull her in, so she hugs his torso with her arms warmly.  Gale always smells the same, like freshly washed clothes and pine.

 

“Things have been busy, I guess you could say we’re too occupied with the ‘boring’ stuff.”

 

“Well we went out on Monday,” she brings up, lifting her chin to look at him.  “To a new Italian place.  Finally Jo offered to babysit.”

 

“Oh yeah, you looked beautiful, babe,” Gale lies while biting his lip.  They share a short and sweet silence until he presses a kiss to her forehead.  It's impersonal and rehearsed, but embarrassingly enough it's the first kiss she’s had in months.  Madge would rather no one have kissed her at all. When she looks up all the Hawthorne’s are staring, and Posy has her chin propped up by her elbows, sighing and smiling longingly.  They’re the perfect couple and she thinks it’s real.

 

“I change my mind,” Vick deadpans, comically tired of their loving act.  “Let’s talk about bathroom renovations again.”

 

Everyone laughs.  The rest of dinner goes surprisingly smoothly, and by the end everyone helps to do some basic cleanup and eat a slice of a pie that Posy helped to make this morning.

 

“How do you have enough time to bake pies, you’re still in high school, right?  You haven’t dropped out?” Gale jokes.

 

Posy just shrugs.  “High school is easy to me.  I have a lot of extra time on my hands.”

 

After dessert Kota starts to get really tired, yawning and lying down in Madge’s lap to close her eyes.  She strokes her daughter’s hair and wishes she could cuddle her to sleep right now.  To her and Gale, that’s a signal that they better get going and not disturb their daughter’s sleep cycles.

 

“I think we better get going, Ma.”

 

Hazelle sighs.  “Oh alright.  Do you want to take home any leftovers?”

 

Food is packed and when Gale is helping KoKo put on her little shoes, Hazelle gives the small box of leftovers to Madge on the side.

 

“Listen.  Thanks for coming tonight, Madge.  I know it’s a trek to come out here to visit us with your busy lives, but we all miss you, Dakota and Gale so much.”

 

“Of course, Hazelle.  She loves it, and I’ve always loved coming to see you.”

 

“Will you all come back for Thanksgiving?”  Gale turns his head over and nods in response to his mom, smiling brightly.  Madge is shocked, as she was in the middle of formulating some complex excuse before he interrupted.  Now she’s roped into another trip to the suburbs and another gruesome night of disingenuous conversation.

 

Gale’s mother smiles tightly and then turns back directly to Madge as if she’s holding something back, and then she opens her mouth.  “You’re good, Madge.  You’re really good for him.  I’m so delighted my son found someone like you to balance out his pride and his short sightedness.”

 

Madge doesn’t know what to say, because if Gale seems like he’s doing well lately it’s not because of her.  They’ve long established how toxic their relationship was, and she knows that his life right now is better than it’s ever been.  But it’s not her doing, and she wishes she could tell Hazelle that her son’s doing it all on his own but she can’t.  So instead she just nods, giving her an earnest hug before doing the same to Gale’s siblings.

 

They’re out the door and into the car in no time, and immediately Dakota falls asleep while Madge falls apart.

 

“Can we please not do this anymore?” she begs, hugging her purse and closing her eyes in exhaustion.

 

“What do you mean?  I thought it went fine,” Gale replies obviously while pulling out of the driveway.

 

“Fine?  What is  _ fine _ ?”

 

“I don’t know, not getting caught?”

 

“Doesn’t it feel wrong, Gale?  Lying to your family about something so trivial that they care about  _ so _ much?”

 

“I think that you're simplifying things too much,” he states.  Madge doesn't even know what that means, isn't that what the case is? 

 

“How am I simplifying things?”

 

“You and me, we’re more than just a breakup I’m too ashamed to bring up to my family.  They love you, did you know that my mom gave me a ring for you?  Just before we got pregnant.  And you’re Posy’s idol, practically Vick’s best friend.  You’re important.  I don’t want to take that away from them.”

 

“Don’t turn this whole scheme into a selfless gesture,” Madge sighs.  She didn't know about the ring, but he's only bringing it up so that she feels bad.  “I can't deal with your ego right now.”

 

“Of course it’s selfless, if people hated my actions I would stop.  I would tell my family.”

 

“I hate your actions, Gale!” Madge practically shouts, startling Dakota slightly in the back.  She rustles slightly and lets out a small yawn, but is apparently still asleep.  Madge flinches, apologetic for how heated he’s making her, so she lowers her voice but keeps her tone.  It's a whisper just in case Kota’s awake.  “I feel like I’m being tortured, Gale.  Not because I hate those people it's because I hate lying to them.  And I’m worried about KoKo, I don't want to confuse her.”

 

“She understands, we have a protocol.”

 

“Are you listening to yourself right now?” she asks, barely believing that Gale really thinks everything is okay.  This was always their problem; she was too much of a realist, he was too much of an optimist, and vice versa in other circumstances.

 

The air is heavy and the car ride is silent for quite some time, and the darkness makes Madge so tired, she just want to sleep.  This whole day had started so hopeful and ended so brutally, but neither of them were expecting anything less.  These visits never end well, they always argue and this is why they needed to break up five years ago.

 

She can tell Gale wants to say something in the way he’s furrowing his brow and chewing on his lip.  Madge won't prompt him though, she barely wants to know.

 

“You're not the only one making sacrifices, Madge.  I know this is hard for you and I'm  _ sorry _ but we both make sacrifices.”

 

“Like what?” she tries, truly irritated.  “Like Katniss?”

 

“Sure, why not,” he sardonically responds, laughing humorlessly.  “I wish my best friend still wanted to talk to me, is that so wrong?”

 

“Katniss was my good friend too.”

 

“And now she doesn't want either one of us.  Ironic, isn't it?  But we both made the sacrifice, that's what I’m trying to say.”

 

Madge bites her tongue and chokes on her words.  They both miss Katniss.  It's no one’s fault but their own, and never do they try to blame each other for the falling out of one of their closest friends.  The drive when they get into the city is quiet and she stares out into the street instead of looking at him.

 

By the end of the long car ride, Madge feels bad.  Her words were harsh and so were his.  So when Gale pulls up in front of her apartment they both get out of the car, just so he can bid them farewell.

 

“Do you need me to carry her up?” he asks with his hands in his coat pockets.

 

“I can do it,” she states, opening the back door and looking at Dakota’s sleeping figure.  She turns to face him.  “Listen, Gale, I’m sorry we’re like this.”

 

Gale shakes his head in forgiveness and hugs her.  She lets him and cradles his neck, letting him burrow into her shoulder.  They’re in this together, they have to be, and it's not the first time they’ve embraced in moments of vulnerability.  He needs something to hold onto, and he's not going to mention it the next day.

 

The hug goes on for minutes, until she lets him go and swallows hard.  “Goodnight.”

 

“Night, Undersee,” Gale sighs, opening the door wider for her to unbuckle Kota’s seat belt and let Madge hold her.  Their daughter is softly sleeping and resting her cheek on her mother’s shoulders.

 

They don’t exchange anything more than a nod and an apologetic glance before Madge and Dakota are making their up the stairs to the apartment.

 

She’s growing fast and is getting heavy, but that’s not the reason that Madge has never been more exhausted.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that their relationship is a little bit complicated? Aha, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, if you did comments are always appreciated. I love reading what you all think and liked!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading, I hope you have an amazing day. :)
> 
> P.S. Sorry there was no one-shot this week. I've been seriously busy, hopefully I'll finish something in the next few days.


	4. Chapter 4

Of all the emotions that Madge feels as a single mom, the one that she probably feels the most is overwhelmed.  Because when the weekdays start to roll in after their dinner at the Hawthornes’ and she gets back into routine, she starts to remember how extremely demanding her schedule really was.

 

First, she drops Dakota at school in the mornings.  Her daughter has many mixed feelings about school, usually positive and brimming with excitement, but today she’s decided to be angry at the world and at the prospect of kindergarten.

 

“Mommy, I don’t wanna go,” Kota sighs with a dramatic little voice as they walk on the busy sidewalks towards her school.  Madge just rolls her eyes; her daughter’s too young to be melodramatic and angry about school.  She herself hadn’t started to feel that way until at least freshman year.

 

“Why?  You love seeing your friends don’t you?  And Ms. Trinket.”

 

“Yeah, but…”

 

“What is it, baby?”

 

They’ve made it to the school, where Dakota stops in front of the doors and crosses her arms.  Madge kneels down and tucks a flying strand of hair behind her daughter’s ear and strokes her head, trying to comfort her.  But Kota just furrows her brow.

 

“Sometimes we get teased.  By a group of senior kindergarteners.”

 

“What do you mean?” Madge asks, genuinely worried.  “How long has this been happening?  What do they say?”

 

“Weird stuff, they aren’t really good at being mean,” KoKo remarks, and her mom can’t help but chuckle.  “Sometimes my friend and I hear them laughing at us.  But they always pretend they don’t so we can’t tell Ms. Trinket.”

 

“Okay, well if it’s making you really sad you can tell me about it,” she assures.  Madge wishes she could talk about it now but she really has to get to work as well.  “And I’m sure Ms. Trinket would be willing to listen to you.  You’d be surprised, okay, KoKo?”

 

Her four year old daughter nods, and she steps forward to give her mom a tight hug.  Madge is touched, and she hugs back, hoping that her daughter has the best time at school she’s ever had.

 

“Is there anything you want to do for dinner today?  When I come pick you up?” she asks, knowing that planting that seed in Kota’s head will make her time at school better.  And she’s right; her daughter’s face instantaneously lights and and she thinks hard, pursing her little lips.

 

“Hmm… could we just watch some movies on the couch?” Dakota asks, and Madge is shocked and nods acceptingly.  It's not that she doesn't want to stay at home too, it's just that she expected Kota to want to eat out for pizza, or milkshakes or anything like that.

 

“Of course,” she has to respond.  “I'll let you pick.  We can watch as many as you want.”  She only says that because Kota will fall asleep before one is over anyways.  She kisses her daughter on the head and watches her walk into the school, and Madge continues on her way downtown.

 

And work isn’t half bad.  They spend most of the time in meetings, planning the station’s marketing strategies for the coming month.  Haymitch trusts Madge to represent his interests well at these boardroom meetings, so he stays in his office doing God knows what while she takes charge of the round table.

 

“So here are a couple of drafts of subway posters that we drew up last week,” Annie explains from the front of the room, clicking through a slideshow of examples and giving everyone time to see.  One has Finnick smiling confidently with his name and the radio station logo plastered right in the middle.  “We’re still fine tuning some graphic design elements, but is this okay in terms of content?  Just so that we know to proceed.”

 

“It looks great, Annie,” Madge nods,.  “We’re only going to be able to choose four to actually use in the poster campaign though, can we go through them now and narrow it down?”

 

So they go through the portfolio Annie and the rest of publicity drew up for them, taking out similar ones and deciding which ones would stand out the most.  They’re in the middle of deciding between two different posters of Finnick when the announcer himself pushes open the door with his body, a tray of coffee cups in his hand.

 

“Hello, am I interrupting?” he asks, and Madge shrugs.  He is, but he also has a beverage for her, and that’s so much more important.  They often do coffee runs for each other when she’s in a long meeting or he’s on air.

 

She’s about to thank him when she remembers the time and raises her eyebrow.  “Isn’t your segment on in five minutes?”

 

“Yup, gotta run,” Finnick responds casually, making his way towards the door of the meeting room.  He stops in front of Annie though, handing her a steaming cup she clearly didn’t ask for.  “Here, Annie.  It’s just mint tea, I thought you’d like it,” he grins flirtily, and Annie turns almost as red as her hair.  Finnick’s gone and for a second everyone in the meeting just laughs at how in shock she looks.

 

Madge laughs too, but knows that she wouldn’t want to dwell on it.  So she pushes the group forward, making a decision on the posters and letting everyone go.

 

When the boardroom is mostly empty and it’s only Annie left, organizing the papers and samples she prepared for the meeting, Madge comes up to her.  They’re sort of friends, not as much as she and Finnick, though.

 

“That was weird, huh?” she starts, gesturing at the paper cup. 

 

Annie nods slowly with wide eyes. “Kind of.  I mean we’ve only talked a couple of times, I don’t know how he figured out that I drink mint tea.  Maybe I was drinking it before?”  She sounds like she’s trying to figure it out too, and Madge knows that Finnick probably notes her every move and every beverage she drinks, just so that he could plan that interaction.  He’s overzealous that way.

 

“I don’t know,” she responds coyly.  “But that was really nice of him, wasn’t it?”

 

“I guess.  He’s kind of seems like he does that to a lot of girls.  I see him at company parties and what not,” she shrugs, and Annie’s not wrong.  Finnick is a naturally flirty guy and he doesn’t find anything wrong in talking to girls who like him too.  But the problem is that Madge thinks he’s probably serious this time, and it sucks that his reputation is getting in the way of that.

 

“Sure, but I feel as if he could change.  For the right person,” Madge shrugs.  Annie looks confused or unsure why she’s telling her this and waves her goodbye to head back to her office.  When she’s gone, Madge is the only one the conference room.  So she exerts a long sigh and trudges out too, making a mental note to debrief Finnick sometime soon.

 

And for lunch, to make her day even more jam packed, she meets up with Delly.  They go to a salad place that’s halfway between their workplaces and sit down for a good hour, just enjoying the time together.  It’s the first time in the day so far that Madge has been able to slow down.

 

“How’s work?”

 

“Okay, busy as usual,” Madge shrugs.  “What about you?”

 

“Normal, I guess,” Delly replies, picking at her salad.  She seems in a rut, and Madge doesn’t bother to pry.  They’ve been friends since they were in preschool, and she knows that Delly will tell her in time.  “Didn’t you go to Gale’s family’s house last weekend?  How did it go?”

 

Madge laughs cynically at the memory and shrugs.  “I don’t know, typically horrifying.”

 

“What do you mean?  If his family is anything like him, I’m sure it was wonderful,” she smiles.  Delly is one of Gale’s biggest fans, she thinks he’s incredibly nice and cool.

 

“They  _ are _ wonderful, which just makes the whole thing painful.  The lie, it’s harder to lie.”

 

“Why can’t you just think of it as a lovely dinner with some lovely people?” her friend asks, always seeing the brightside.

 

“Because we always end up fighting,” Madge offers.  “I just thought joint-custody wouldn’t entail this much time seeing the other parent, you know?  We broke up, doesn’t that mean I get to stop talking to him?”  Her complaints are exaggerated, of course.  They make Delly laugh and shake her head.

 

“At least he’s a bearable person to be around.  Imagine if your ex was anyone else, any of your so-called dates.”

 

Madge thinks about the idea of her last date, Anthony the marketing guy, and how he would react to being a parent and her ex.  It makes her chuckle.  “Okay, I see your point.  But still, I think your image of Gale is very drastically different from the reality.”

 

“What? No, if anything  _ my _ image of him is more accurate because I’m more objective that you are.”

 

Madge sees what her friend is trying to say, but she has to disagree.  “No, listen.  You only really know Gale in the context of him setting you up with Thom.  He’s the valiant wingman who saved your romantic life.  Could you really tell me that’s not subjective?”

 

“Okay, so we’re both subjective,” Delly shrugs gleefully, and Madge groans.  She and her best friend have always got along, and although they’ve both changed quite a bit since they were kids their dynamic is very much the same.  The reason she thinks so highly of Gale is because he helped to set up her and her boyfriend, Thom.  A couple years ago when she moved from her and Madge’s hometown to come work in the city, she was doing some waitressing and bartending in the interim.  It was at a restaurant near Gale’s workplace that she bumped into him and he recognized her from meeting her a couple times back in college, back when he and Madge still had been dating.

 

After that Gale set her up with Thom, his extremely single friend with a similar personality and they’ve been together ever since.  Madge can’t think of a couple that’s better together, Delly’s fun and free-spirited and Thom grounds her in a way that only he can.

 

Madge decides to change the subject from Gale to Thom, because she truly doesn’t want to talk about him any longer.  “How is your boyfriend?” she asks casually, but Delly doesn’t look up and forks her salad aggressively.  Just with that question, Madge knows that she’s hit a nerve. 

 

“He’s okay, really busy still.”

 

“It’s work, you said?”

 

“Yeah, at least he  _ says _ it’s work…” Delly mumbles frustratedly, and Madge rolls her eyes.  Thom would never lie to his girlfriend, he’s honest and he holds himself to a strong moral code.

 

“Are you thinking about this because of what Jo said a couple weeks ago?  Her joke about him cheating on you?”

 

“I don’t know Madge, she just planted the seed in my head and I can’t help but think.  Even if he wasn’t, we just don’t get to spend any time together anymore,” she blurts, finally speaking her mind.  She sighs sadly, biting her lip.  When Delly used to get nervous she would play with the ends of her hair, but ever since she cut it all to shoulder length a couple months ago she’s been doing it less.  But right now her fingers are pulling at wavy strands of yellow blonde hair, and her eyes are darting around the restaurant.  “I just miss him.”

 

“He’s still your boyfriend, Dell.  Have you tried just asking him to spend more time with you?  Maybe he hasn’t thought about it.”

 

“He loves his job,” she tries to reason, but Madge just raises an eyebrow.

 

“More than he loves you?”

 

“Obviously not, but I just need to be reminded of it sometimes.  Am I making any sense?” Delly asks desperately, and Madge nods to comfort her friend and to let her continue.  “I just want a date.  I just him to take me out so I can dress up and he can kiss me, tell me he loves me.  I don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve heard it.”

 

“I get it.  Don’t worry, you’re in a better position that I am,” she jokes cynically, but Delly doesn’t flinch.  “It’s not wrong to need affection.  You can’t change his shifts and his work, but you can support him through it and you guys will get through it.  Okay?”

 

Delly nods.  With her, Madge never feels the need to dance around the issues she faces.  It’s hard to get into deep issues with Jo sometimes, they’re always joking around and using humour as a defense mechanism.  She still couldn’t live without her though, and her two best friends really are the best in their own ways.

 

They say their goodbyes and head back to work, and Madge prays that her friend is able to figure things out with Thom.  He’s a great guy, he and Delly deserve so much happiness together that it makes her heart hurt.

 

The afternoon flies by, all Madge can do is work diligently through all her tasks and stare at the clock.  She can’t be late to pick up Dakota, yesterday she was almost the last parent to get to the playground, and Ms. Trinket surely can’t think too highly of her at this point.  She must redeem herself, even if it means counting down the time to the second  _ and  _ leaving five minutes early.

 

And ultimately, she’s successful.  Kota’s still playing with her friends in the yard when she arrives, and when she sees her mom she runs up to her, jumping with happiness.

 

“Hi Mommy,” Dakota smiles politely, sticking her hand up towards Madge, intending for her to take it.  Madge laughs and muses at what a wonderful daughter she’s been blessed with and takes her tiny hand in hers. 

 

“Hey baby, how was your day?  Was it so bad afterall?”

 

Kota shakes her head.  “No, I had fun!  Our reading buddies came to read to us today.  Mine is called Hunter and he reads me books about aliens.   _ Aliens,  _ Mommy!”

 

“That’s so cool,” she exclaims back, knowing that now, her daughter’s going to want all the alien stuffed toys and to watch all the alien cartoons.  “The weather outside is really nice today.  Do you want to walk or take the subway today?”

 

“Walk,” Dakota answers quickly.  “But if I get tired you’ll carry me?”

 

Madge laughs out loud, nodding knowingly.  “Sure, KoKo.  We can stop for a smoothie or something too.”

 

When it comes to Kota, walking home is almost an activity in itself.  They stop to take breaks on benches, get some food or look at flowers and plants in the few parks that are peppered around the city.  Madge prefers it too because it tires her daughter out and makes sure that she doesn’t have a hyperactive daughter running around the apartment past her bedtime.

 

So they pick up a snack sized mango smoothie for Dakota, and she sips it happily while gazing at the scattered store fronts.  She’s mesmerized by the glass cases and the colours, it really is adorable.  Even with her busy day of meeting and paperwork, Madge is glad her daughter is having fun and in turn, so is she.

 

Before they head up to their apartment they stop at the local pizza place just around the corner, picking up a large cheese pizza to bring back home.  Although they definitely can’t finish it all on their own, Madge loves eating leftover pizza, and so does Jo.  She’s working a closing shift tonight and will probably be hungry too.

 

In no time at all they’re on the couch.  The walk took about an hour, and Madge herself has her stomach grumbling at the smell of the pizza she’s holding, fresh out of the oven.  It’s only five o’clock, but she needs to eat right now or else she’ll implode.

 

“Are you hungry, Kota?” Madge asks while helping her daughter out of her shoes.

 

Kota shrugs, a habit that Madge wishes she could get her out of.  It’s definitely her fault, she’s always indecisively shrugging and never giving solid answers.  She needs to be more cautious of her actions because her daughter will imitate them, and sometimes she forgets that.  

 

“Okay,” she nods anyways.  “Well why don’t we watch a movie now and then after I can help you take a bath, clean you up all squeaky.”

 

“I thought you said we can watch as many I want?”

 

“We can, if after your bath you aren’t tired we can put on another one.  Is that alright?”

 

Dakota nods, and Madge smiles.  They plop down on the couch and begin to scroll through movies.  As she expected, all Kota wants is space related moves.  Tons of them aren’t appropriate for her age, Madge wishes Netflix would sort through the movies further but instead she searches desperately for animations and family films for them to watch.

 

Finally, she scrolls onto Lilo & Stitch.  “This one is about Hawaii, baby,” she offers her daughter.  “It’s about a little girl who finds an alien friend in Hawaii.  Do you want to watch it?”

 

How could she refuse?  Dakota nods vigorously so she presses play.  

 

The movie runs, and for the first half Dakota is surprisingly quiet.  She stares into the television and listens carefully at the film and doesn’t speak.  Madge watches too; it’s been so long since she’s seen this one, she must’ve been babysitting when she was fourteen the last time she had seen it.  There are parts that she forgot and songs that she remembers, watching kids’ movies aren’t that bad at all.

 

But halfway through the movie, just as Nani and Lilo are surfing at the beach, she loses focus.  It starts with her asking for pizza, but then all she wants to do is talk.  Kota gets it from Gale; he can’t get through a movie without starting up a conversation or asking random questions.  Madge can’t even imagine what movie night is like on weeks that Gale has her - they probably don’t even look at the screen once.

 

So Madge turns the volume down and lets the film run in the background, happy to talk to her daughter if that’s what she wants.  The whole point of movie night was to do something  _ she  _  wanted after all.

 

“What did you do today, mommy?” she asks curiously.  Kota’s intrigued by her job and the idea of working in an office building.  The few times she’s brought her in her daughter was captivated by the stationary and the silent bustle.

 

“Well, I had some meetings.  We talked about some new posters that we want to put up in the subways, maybe we’ll see them sometime soon.  And for lunch, I went out with Aunt Delly.”

 

“What did you eat?”

 

“Salad.”

 

Dakota scrunches her nose.  “Ew.”

 

“Salads don’t have to be ‘ew,’ mine had strawberries in it, and a really yummy dressing.”

 

“Strawberries?  Daddy says that you love strawberries.”

 

It’s funny that Gale would still remember that, Madge barely remembers his favourite colour.  “It’s true,” she nods in response.  “When we were in college, Daddy would bring strawberry yogurt to me when I had early morning classes.  He knew I always skipped breakfast.”

 

“Does he still do that when you have to go to work early in the morning?” Kota asks innocently, and Madge sighs.

 

“No, Gale has his own work to do.  And plus, you know we aren’t like that anymore, baby.  We don’t bring each other yogurt anymore, that’s why you take turns coming with me and with him every week.”

 

“I know, I know, I know,” Kota breathes with a little annoyance.  She’s heard the spiel countless times, Madge assumes she doesn’t want to keep getting the same elementary explanation.  “I just thought that it was just  _ yogurt.   _ That doesn’t mean you have to get  _ married. _ ”

 

Dakota really is wise beyond her years, and it makes Madge reach out to stroke her hair.  It’s flying everywhere as usual, and she wishes she could get it to stay put for once.  The problem about what her daughter is saying though is that it’s never just yogurt.  

 

When Madge was in kindergarten she also thought her parents were perfect and meant to be together.  Although they didn’t get divorced, no couple is perfect, and the Undersees were no exception.  Even if Kota understands that Gale and Madge aren’t together, she probably doesn’t understand why and thinks that they’re still meant to be a couple in the end.  But Kota’s comment about not needing to get married could prove otherwise.

 

Just then, Dakota yawns, so her mother nudges her and turns off the movie.

 

“Come on baby, let’s get you washed up and tucked into bed.”

 

“No, I can still watch it!” she insists, pouting at Madge.  “I’m not tired.”

 

“Yes you are,” Madge sighs.  “We’ll finish it tomorrow, okay?  I promise, KoKo.”

 

Of course she’s tired, when her mother picks her up and takes her to the shower she doesn’t even object one bit to being carried.  Madge turns on the bathtub and lets it run, adding in some colourful bubble bath that Kota loves so much.

 

“In you go,” she says, gesturing her daughter at the tub after she’s undressed.  Kota uses the little steps that they found at the bath store and steps into the foaming tub, giggling at the smells and the feelings.

 

While Madge helps to wash her, they have fun.  Kota loves playing with the toys and making beards and hats with the bubbles.  She’s such a kidder, and such a bright light in her mother’s life right now.  Even when Madge and Gale had her young and didn’t see it coming, Madge couldn’t imagine her life any different.  She doesn’t even know how she could’ve been happy without Kota there keeping her company.

 

Kota sits with her back facing Madge while they play hairdresser, and she lathers her daughter’s hair making jovial small talk with her.

 

“So Madam, what brings you to my hair salon today?” Madge asks mocking a serious tone.  “Just a wash?  Or maybe a cut?  Do you want some colours in here?”

 

“No!” Kota squeals happily.  “Don’t colour my hair, just wash.”

 

“If you insist.  The customer is always right.”  Madge hopes the scalp massage isn’t putting Kota to sleep to, so after a couple minutes she taps her shoulder signaling that she’s done, and they pour water gently over her hair, rinsing out the shampoo.  “But really baby, what are we going to do with your hair?” she sighs, breaking character.  “It flies every time I try to tame it.  It won’t sit still, just like you.”

 

“Daddy likes my hair,” Dakota comments defensively, and Madge laughs.

 

“I like your hair too, I love it.”

 

She barely acknowledges her mother’s compliment and instead, rambles on into a story.  “Because I always tell Daddy that I want his hair, or Aunt Posy’s hair, but then he tells me that my blonde hair is the most prettiest hair he’s ever seen,” KoKo explains.  “That means you have the most prettiest hair too, Mommy!  We have the same hair!”

 

Kota clutches onto Madge’s locks making them a bit damp, but Madge doesn’t mind.  She sighs and pours the final bucket of water over her daughter’s head, grabbing the towel from the doorknob and motioning for her to get out.  She dries her and musses up her hair, still playing, even though she can tell Dakota’s getting tired.

 

“Your hair is pretty anyway, do you understand?  Everything about you is pretty, what other people think about it barely even matters.”

 

Kota nods obediently while stepping into her pajamas, and Madge rubs her face adoringly.  She’s a little tired too, despite it only being a little past eight.  She’s going to stay up to do work, watch a bit of her own TV and wait until Jo gets home, but it sure is exhausting sometimes.

 

“Are you tired?”

 

She can’t even lie, nodding her small head and yawning a second time.  “Thank you for the bath, Mommy.”

 

She smiles with pride.  “No problem, baby.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter I got a lot of comments saying that Madge doesn't know how to stand up for herself or that Gale is using her, and I think both those statements are true to an extent but I want to try and communicate what I think they're dynamic is like right now. Yes, Gale might be extremely selfish right now but I don't think that he knows there are other options and he really thinks that he's doing the best thing for both him and for Madge, he sees them as a team. Madge on the other hand is choosing to pick her battles, she /does/ have a spine and is saving her fuel for later. You'll see.
> 
> Also, they could possibly still be... into each other! Spoiler alert, I don't write stories with no happy ending, especially if it's an AU I created myself so I think they both have unresolved feelings to work out as well for all communication to be honest and open. Maybe this story was too much of a challenge for me to tackle, but I'm going to try and see it through.
> 
> That's all, if you liked this chapter please give it a kudos or a comment and thank you so much for reading.


	5. Chapter 5

When Madge is leaving work on Friday, she’s relieved that the day is over and slightly sad that she has to drop Dakota off today.  Overall, it was a good day.  The station ran smoothly and everyone was rather nice.

 

“Are you leaving?” Haymitch grumbles when he sees her putting on a coat.  

 

Madge nods hesitantly.  “Yeah, I need to go pick up my daughter from school, like I do everyday.”

 

“Not next week though right?”

 

She’s surprised her boss has even the slightest grasp on her schedule.  Usually he’s busy in long, drawn out meetings or toiling around in his office after giving her vague directions.  “Yeah, not next week.  Her father is taking care of her.”

 

“I guess you could pull some more weight next week then,” Haymitch suggests, smiling to himself a little bit.  Madge is shocked, she’s operated on the same schedule forever now and suddenly it seems as if he’s threatening her.  

 

“I beg your pardon?  Do you think I’m not busy just because my daughter is out of my hands?”

 

“I was joking,” Haymitch chuckles with his hands up in surrender.  She huffs and laughs slightly too, knowing that it was a mistake to take him too seriously.  Although his humour is dry and it makes Madge slightly uncomfortable, her boss means well.  “I know you have a lot on your plate, and I’m not _that_ evil.  If you ever need time off, or you need to do something for your kid or whatever, just let me know.  Okay?”

 

She’s not used to this newfound kindness.  Even though she’ll admit that she’s never tried to know him better, Madge always assumed Haymitch Abernathy wasn’t the accommodating type.  She’ll take whatever he gives though, so she nods quickly.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“No problem, Madge.  Have a good weekend.”

 

“You too,” she smiles, picking up her purse and the weekly bag to head out the door.

 

The office is still busy and bustling, and Madge can barely hear the receptionist calling out her name from down the hall over the chatter and the noise.  The girl runs up to her and taps her shoulder, making Madge stop and turn around.  “Hi, is it something important?  I need to go pick up my daughter.”  She’s been so good this week with being on time, it would be a shame to disappoint Effie now.

 

“Yeah, there’s just a man waiting for you in the lobby.”

 

“I’m not working right now,” she states simply.

 

“It’s not for work, he says.  He just wanted to wait in the lobby for you, maybe you know him?  He’s tall, dark hair, kind of handsome,” the receptionist offers.

 

Madge wonders what Gale is doing here for; she’s supposed to be at his apartment in an hour, after all.  It can’t be anything too serious because he decided to wait for her to get off of work, but she’s still curious.  After a short walk down the hall she searches for him in the waiting area, but instead she finds a different, tall, dark and handsome guy.

 

“Thom,” she calls, and Delly’s boyfriend snaps his head up and gives her a warm smile.  He’s also Gale’s best friend, and Madge swears that they could be related in a distant way, because they both share similar features: tall frames and thick, dark hair.  Thom is a bit more lanky and his face is a bit longer, but she knows why the receptionist found him handsome.

 

“Hey, Madge.  How are you?”

 

“I’m good, why are you here?”

 

“Do you have a minute to talk?  I can buy you coffee,” he asks vaguely, not giving up any context.

 

“I have to go pick up Dakota from school, but you can walk with me if you’d like?”

 

“That sounds perfect,” Thom nods.  “I’ll buy you coffee along the way, come on.”

 

So they grab a cup from the joint just around the corner, and when they start to make the walk over to Dakota’s school, Madge finally gives Thom a good look.  He looks tired, and there are spots of paint on his jeans.  Delly did say something about him being really busy with work, so it makes sense.

 

"Did you just get off from work too?"

 

"Yeah, I'm actually doing some contracting work for a friend of mine tonight as well, so good thing I have this gap to come talk to you."

 

Madge frowns.  Delly needs him talking to his own girlfriend, not her best friend that he rarely speaks to personally.  Everything that Delly was concerned about at lunch just days ago comes back to her, and Madge's brain starts to try and connect the dots.  "Must be important then," she comments casually.

 

Thom scoffs.  "Yeah, you could say that."

 

Hoping that it's not bad news, she prods him.  "What do you mean?"

 

"Uh..." Thom lets out trying to start.  He looks nervous and unsure, which gives Madge unease.  She has no clue where he could be going with this.  "I've been working a lot more lately, doing stuff outside of the company like the contracting work."

 

"Why?  Are you and Delly doing okay financially?"

 

"Yeah, yeah," he reassures.  "No, everything is fine."

 

They're quiet for a couple moments again, she doesn't want to push him into letting her know and lets Thom speak at his own pace.  After too long though, she prompts him gently.  "So why do you do extra work?"

 

"Not for fun," Thom shrugs jokingly and Madge lightly laughs.  "Delly and I are doing fine, but I need the money for something else."

 

"For what?"  Now that he's admitted that the work was for the money, Madge can see how Thom would forget about Delly's loneliness when he's so tired and busy too.

 

Thom smiles deviously.  "Something else."

 

"What?"

 

"A wedding," he states simply, and for a second Madge doesn't register his words.  Then it hits her.

 

"Your wedding with Delly?"

 

"Who else, Madge?"

 

She instantaneously brightens up and smiles.  Apparently she forgets to keep walking too, because they're stood still and she wraps her arms around her friend tightly.  "Oh my god, Thom.  That's amazing!  That’s so amazing.”

 

"Thanks," Thom grins.

 

Everything makes sense now, he's been saving up for a ring and the wedding.  To think that Delly considered that Thom could've been cheating on her seems completely ridiculous at this point.  But Madge remembers that Delly even right now is feeling this doubt.  She still doesn't know, and she won't know until Thom proposes.

 

"I'm going to ask her on Wednesday," he shrugs.  "Feels like I've been planning this forever, honestly."

 

"You've probably been thinking about it since forever," Madge suggests, and Thom laughs in agreement.

 

"Since the day I met her."

 

Madge sucks in a breath.  Delly is so lucky.

 

"So, what do you need me for?"  She assumes that the reason he's letting her know isn't because they're great pals.  Thom needs her to do something, and she's more than happy to help.

 

"We're going to go out for dinner and I'm going to propose in the park, the one where we went for our first date, I was showing her around the city" he explains.  "But you know Delly, and I think she'd love it if we got drinks with a bunch of friends afterwards."

 

"Like a surprise party."

 

"Sure, I already let all my friends know, but could you get Delly's friends to know?  It's less suspicious that way."

 

“Of course,” she nods eagerly.  “Did you have a place in mind, or?”

 

“Do you know Redwood?”

 

“Sure, it’s near Gale’s right?”

 

“Yeah, there.  He’s in on this too actually, he’s going to show up at the bar early to reserve a table, set up corny decorations and what not.”

 

“Do you want me to do the same?”

 

Thom laughs and scratches the back of his neck.  “I mean, if you wanted to, you could.”

 

“I will,” she insists.  They aren’t fighting and they’re adults, they can put up some goddamn decorations together.  

 

“Okay, great!  Our dinner reservation is at 6, so by the time we’re done eating and we’ll get back to the bar it will probably be around 9:30?”

 

“We’ll tell people to get there around 9 then,” Madge promises, and Thom smiles and nods.  They’re almost at Kota’s school, and she notices Thom glancing at his phone for the time.  She puts a hand on his shoulder and nods.  “When’s your job?”

 

“Six”

 

“Delly’s working a shift right now, right?  Go bring her a snack or something, spend some time with her.  She’ll appreciate it.”

 

He nods.  “Yeah, that’s a good idea.  Are you sure?  I could walk with you the rest of the way.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, I’m only a block away.”

 

So they say their goodbyes and Madge congratulates him one more time.  She can’t wait to tell Jo, she’d be so happy for their friend too and she needs to tell someone, anyone.  They engagement is happy news that can preoccupy her life until Wednesday, she’ll go to the florist this weekend to pick out some flowers to give Delly.  Thom parts ways when he hails a cab, and she’s left to speed walk the rest of the way to the school.

 

And Kota is playing in the courtyard with some other friends when she arrives.  Madge leaves her be for a while and heads over to say hi to Ms. Trinket.

 

“Hi Effie.”

 

“Madge, how are you, darling?”

 

“I’m alright, how was Kota today?”

 

“She was great, a bit quieter than usual, but she seemed to be having fun nevertheless.”

 

“That’s good,” Madge offers, and soon Kota notices her mom and runs over to her.  They hold hands and Madge gives it a squeeze.  “Hi Dakota, how was school, baby?”

 

“Good,” the little girl answers with a sweet smile.  “Are we going to Dad’s today?”

 

“Yeah, are you excited?”

 

“Mhm,” Kota nods, and they wave at Effie one last time heading out towards Gale’s apartment.  They hop on the bus, because it’s fast and apparently Dakota is tired.  Madge lets her take the empty seat while she’s keenly watched over, and her mom has to tap her on the shoulder before their stop so that she can remember.  They quickly exit the bus and head towards her father’s place.

 

Gale answers the door quickly this time, unlike two weeks back.  He welcomes them in and this time Madge obliges.  They have an engagement party to organize afterall, and she could use a drink or a couple minutes of rest before heading home.

 

"Daddy!" Kota exclaims, dancing around his feet and giving his leg a hug.  "I missed you."

 

"I missed you too, princess."

 

At this point, Dakota has so many nicknames her mother can barely keep up.  She seems to register them well herself though, smiling happily at the insinuation of royalty.  Madge's heart warms up too, and she nods towards the kitchen where Gale seems to have set up a juice box and some veggies.

 

"I think Dad made a snack for you, baby.  Wanna check it out?"

 

She scampers off happily and Madge plops the weekly bag onto the couch along with the miniature backpack.  Gale acknowledges it and looks casually at her, constituting a greeting.  He was never one to use more words than necessary.

 

"So I just talked to Thom," she starts, bubbling with excitement just by thinking about the engagement.

 

He raises a brow.  "About what?"

 

"About Wednesday."

 

"What are you talking about?' he asks again, and Madge rolls her eyes.

 

"He literally just told me about the proposal, I'm in on the plan."

 

Gale shrugs and smiles.  "Just making sure."

 

"It seems like such a long time coming."

 

"Right?  Well, it has been four years.  I think that's long enough.  But I know what you mean."

 

"It doesn't feel like four years."

 

"You're right."

 

They just politely smile for a bit, and Madge decides it's time to leave.  "Okay, I think I'll be on my way then."

 

"Daddy," Kota prompts from the kitchen table playing with a stick of cucumber.  "Is it just you and me today?"

 

"Yup, just you and I, princess."

 

"What do you mean, Dakota?" Madge asks curiously, with no malicious intent.  She knows exactly what her daughter is referring too, the fact that Gale dates girls on and off.  And that's not the problem, Madge dates her fair share too, but Gale is more than comfortable to bring them home while she isn't and she wants to know what KoKo thinks about that.

 

"Sometimes Daddy's friends are here and there are three of us," she explains as if she's reciting a script.  "Sometimes they're nice, sometimes they're mean."

 

"But the mean ones don't get invited back," Gale tries to justify, giving Madge a look trying to incite some sympathy into her.  Madge can't relate though, and she only laughs at him and shakes her head.

 

"And I always tell Daddy that I like it best when it's just me and him."

 

"He and I," Gale and Madge correct in synchronization, then sharing a knowing look.  Their daughter will have impeccable grammar by the time she's ten if they can do anything about it.

 

"He and I," Kota repeats.  "When it's just he and I.  Because then we get to do things I like and eat kids food instead of adult food."

 

"Adult food is gross," Madge jokes scrunching her nose.  All that does is give her a nod of approval from Dakota while she sips her little juice box and a groan from Gale.  "I'm going to go now, KoKo."

 

"Are you sure?" she asks, pouting her lip.  

 

"Yes, I'm sure.  Come give Mommy a hug?"

 

“Okay,” Kota shrugs, and she runs back from the kitchen and right into Madge’s crouching body.  They hug gleefully and Madge squeezes her extra tight this time inhaling the smell of her fruity kids shampoo and whatever detergent the laundromat decides is right.

 

Madge looks up at Gale, who’s been staring intently.  “Wednesday at 8:30, we’ll meet at Redwood to set up?”

 

He nods.  “Sounds good.  Bye, Undersee.”

 

“Goodbye.”

 

“Bye, Mommy!”

 

Madge kisses her cheek tenderly and waves one more time before heading out the door.

 

Once all that sentimental business is complete though, she’s back to obsessing over the idea of an engagement.  It’s everything Delly wants, Madge needs to tell Johanna so badly.  She stops by the convenience store on the way back and picks up a bottle of red and a bag of chips (her cravings took over).

 

When she bursts through the door, Jo is unsuspectedly sitting on the couch, presumably binging another episode of her repetitive crime dramas.

 

“Jo!” Madge greets happily, shedding her coat and joining her there.

 

Her friend smiles tiredly, it’s probably been a long day for her too, but she notices the bag of Salt & Vinegar chips.  “Snacks?”

 

“Yeah, I’m just going to get a bottle opener and some glasses, hold on,” she says, gesturing to the bottle she’s set on the coffee table.  When she’s flipping through the kitchen drawers she hears the television show being muted, and she’s glad Johanna’s in the mood to talk.  “How was work?”

 

“Alright.  It’d be better if Chaff would give me the fucking promotion.”

 

“Still not budging?”  She hands Jo the bottle and the opener, knowing she’ll do a better job.

 

“Nope, even though I feel like he was hinting it to me.  Oh well, I guess I didn’t read the signs right.”  Jo started doing bookkeeping for Chaff’s hardware store two years ago between jobs, but it turned out that he needed more help than he let on.  Soon, she was picking up a couple of real shifts and organizing more than just expenses.  She’s floor manager now when she’s at the store, but Johanna rants about how she needs to be promoted to manager for real.  “No one even has that title, Chaff just filled the role himself,” she used to say.

 

“Hey, you never know.  Great things happen all the time,” Madge shrugs, and Jo raises a brow.

 

“Why are you like this right now?”

 

“What?”

 

“Optimistic.  Did something exciting happen?”

 

Her best friend can see right through her.  It’s just that she’s bursting with this happy secret and she needs to learn how to contain is better, lest everyone call her out on smiling too much in the next few days.  “You’ll never guess what I learned today.”

 

“Tell me,” Jo insists with wide eyes and a mocking smile.  

 

“Thom…”

 

“...is proposing to Delly?”

 

Madge stops in her tracks.  “Wait, how do you know?”

 

“I didn’t,” is her response, shaking her head.  “I just guessed from what you were giving me.  That’s fucking incredible though.”

 

“Isn’t it?  He came to talk to me after work today and told me all about it.  He’s proposing on Wednesday and he wants to gather all their close friends to meet for drinks after.  Wouldn’t she love that?”

 

“Am I invited?” Johanna jokes, before Madge gives her an obvious face.  “Okay, okay.  I’ll clear my schedule.”

 

“I’m just so happy for them.”

 

“Yeah, Delly deserves all of that stuff, I’m happy too.”

 

For a couple minutes they crunch on the chips and sip on the wine, huddled in the throw that was draped over the back.  Madge yawns, leaning back on the couch, but when she looks up Jo is gazing at her, thinking.

 

“What’s wrong?”

 

Her friend furrows her brows and shrugs.  “Nothing.  It’s just that you get really invested in other people’s happiness sometimes, you know?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Like you concentrate more on good things happening in other people’s lives than your own.  And I’m not saying that we can’t be excited for Delly and Thom’s engagement, because we both are.  But like… don’t forget your own happiness, I guess?”

 

Madge understands completely why Johanna would say that.  She’s right about the fact that she fixates herself on other people’s happiness.  It manifests in the engagement, but also in her relationship with Gale.  And usually it’s without consequence, until she forgets to take care of herself or voice her concerns.  “I don’t think I can help it.”

 

“You can, I know you can,” Jo insists, but Madge laughs with no confidence.  “No really.  You don’t do that with _me._  You don’t fucking care if I’m happy if it means that our place is filthy and I’m upsetting you.”

 

She makes a noise of agreement and stares blankly out the window.

 

“And please tell me if I’m overstepping.”

 

“You aren’t.”

 

“You sure?”

 

“Honest, I needed that.  Thanks Jo.”

 

“Sure,” her friend sighs.  They talk for almost an hour longer, chatting about work, about next Wednesday and just trying to catch up.  Some weeks they barely see each other at home, always operating on parallel schedules that barely intercept.  

 

But Johanna’s advice lingers, pointing nakedly at one of Madge’s weaknesses.  She supposes that “too nice” is a cliche, but it’s real and she is too nice.  Maybe she can work on it and voice her point of view more often, but it starts with acknowledging the problem.  She’s already halfway there.

 

Somehow, they finish the bottle of wine.  Jo downs the last drop and frowns at her empty glass.

 

“That was really good wine actually, what’s it called?”

 

Jo’s scanning the bottle when Madge just laughs.  “It was the cheapest wine I could find at the liquor store.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

She nods, and Johanna chuckles lightly.  “Wow, good thing we have no taste.  My unrefined palette is fooled by everything.”

 

Madge can only nod in response, she’s too tired to offer another smart comment.  But she appreciates the humour, appreciates Jo more than anymore right now.  Perhaps if she sticks to her friend’s advice, her good day could turn into a good week, a good month.

 

Perhaps more.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huge part of me wants to crack ship Effie the kindergarten teacher and Haymitch the radio station man. Haha, what do you guys think?
> 
> I hope you guys liked it, I'm really excited for you guys to read the engagement party next chapter. Comments and kudos always appreciated! :)


	6. Chapter 6

The entire Wednesday afternoon Madge is brimming with excitement.  She gets through work no problem and hums along to the songs of the station during her break.  Finnick is just wrapping up his segment, and he's going to be out soon too.

 

And apparently happiness is a rare occurrence for her, because her friend gives her a skeptical look when she hands him his cup of coffee.

 

“Why are you like this today Madgelene?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You seem chipper.”

 

“I am chipper,” she nods, not even bothering to call out his ridiculous nickname.

 

“And why is that?”

 

“My friends are getting engaged today,” she admits, needing to tell anyone.  Finn doesn't know them, it's not like he can do anything with the information, except maybe announce it on public radio.

 

“That's amazing, congratulations on the engagement…?” he jokes, and Madge just about slaps him.

 

“Hey, can't you just let me be happy today?  Second hand happiness is the best.  Low stakes.”

 

“Okay fine,” he gives up, putting up his hands in surrender.  “Speaking of second hand happiness, I think there's something that would make you really, really happy.”

 

“Setting you up with Annie?” she guesses casually.

 

“How did you know?  Yes, exactly.”

 

“I don't think she's looking for something like that right now, Finnick,” Madge puts lightly, trying hard not to draw quotes from the exchange they shared last week.

 

He scrunched his eyebrows and tilts his chin.  “Looking for something like what?”

 

“Like… a relationship.”

 

“Does she think I'm weird?”

 

“No,” she insists.  “She doesn’t.  I think she’s just not used to anyone being so…”

 

“Forward?”

 

“Sure,” Madge shrugs, taking another sip of caffeine.  “Forward.  That’s actually a good way to put it.”

 

“Forward isn’t a bad thing though,” he tries to reason to himself, and Madge shakes her head in agreement.

 

“Yeah, no it’s not.  I just don’t think she’s used to that.”  Annie isn’t used to guys bringing her tea out of the blue, but Madge thought it was a nice gesture.  But this whole wing-woman thing is out of control and she feels like she’s in middle school.  Finnick just needs to talk to her and ask her out, being direct is always the way to go with these things.  “Honestly Finn, you should just ask her to lunch or something.”

 

“You’re right,” he nods, as they start to walk out of the recording studio.  “But you’ll still keep watching out for me right?  If she shows any signs?”

 

Madge rolls her eyes, but the crazy thing is he might be serious.  And if Finnick Odair is serious about being this nervous, she better get used to Annie Cresta being the centre of their conversation for months to come.

 

* * *

 

She works until a bit later than usual, and by the time she goes home to change, eat a light dinner and begins to walk over to the venue it’s almost 8:30 already.

 

Redwood is on the 20th floor of a downtown office building, and when Madge finds her way up the elevator and towards the back window of the bar, she lets out a sigh of exhaustion.  The view is beautiful though, it's just far enough from the ground to truly admire all the lights but still close enough to see the humans, walking and bustling about underneath her.

 

She's the first one here naturally, but Gale should be on the way soon.  He's picking up the flowers while she talks to the people in the kitchen about the food they'll eat.  They're keeping it light, mostly just snacks to accompany the drinks.  Thom and Delly couldn't be too hungry anyways after a big dinner.

 

Her phone buzzes in her clutch so she gazes down.  It's an email.

 

**From: Dad**

**To: me**

**Subject: Fwd: Hawthorne-Undersee Custody Forms**

 

Madge doesn't even bother to open it.  She marks it as read and sends it to the archives.  

 

Her parents have been berating her with legal support, unwarranted nonetheless, for full custody over Dakota.  But Madge doesn't want full custody.  She doesn't think she could ever do that to Gale, nor can she truly raise a child on her own.  It's absurd, so she ignores it.  They won't meet in person anytime soon anyways, so at least for now she can just keep deleting her father's emails.

 

He means well, mostly would just like to see his daughter be independent.  He has the legal connections to family lawyers, being one himself, and thinks he has a duty.  Madge isn't sure she can say the same about her mother though, she's never liked Gale and probably never will.  Even when he made a perfect impression in her opinion back in college, apparently it wasn't good enough.  Her mother thinks Gale needs to be out of her life, maybe she's right, but this isn't the way at all.

 

She turns her phone on silent and exhales quickly, trying to concentrate on the menu she's supposed to be ordering from.

 

The waiter comes over and Madge points to a couple of appetizers that sound appealing.  "Could we just get these four and make the servings big enough for about ten?"

 

He nods and thanks her, walking away just as someone comes up from behind her and squeezes her shoulders.  Madge jumps and swivels.  

 

"Madge!"

 

"Rory!"

 

"Hey," the young Hawthorne smiles.  He gives Madge a warm hug and she’s caught off guard, she hasn’t seen him a while and barely recognizes him with the dark framed glasses perched on his nose.  Clearly college is treating him well, there’s a joyful vibe to him that she didn’t see back when he was an angsty teen.

 

“Hi, wow, I didn’t know you were in town.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve been on break this week and figured that I had to visit.”  His school not far, just a couple towns away on a classic picturesque campus.  Unlike Gale and Madge, whose school was right in the middle of the city.  “You look really good.”

 

“Oh, thanks,” she responds, remembering the simply navy blue dress she’d put on for tonight’s party.  “Are you staying at a friend’s?”

 

“I am.  I figured that the three of you have your hands full at home, it’d suck to intrude.”

 

Madge nods deliberately in response, agreeing to the farce.  It’s Rory that it’s hardest to lie to; he’s smart and he’s close with Gale in a way that the other siblings aren’t.  And it might just be in her mind, but sometimes his voice is skeptical, almost as if he’s accusing her.

 

“Um, well Gale just went to the florist…”

 

“I know, that’s why I’m here.  I helped him carry the flowers in,” Rory points out, gesturing to a couple of bouquets sitting behind them.  That makes total sense, so Madge shakes her head at how unintuitive she’s being.

 

Then, Gale walks in, carrying one last bouquet and absentmindedly gazing at his phone.  He’s already dressed in a suit for tonight, and when he gets to her and his sibling, he put down the device.  “Thanks for the help, Ror.”

 

The young man shrugs.  “No problem.”

 

“Are you sure you can’t stay for the party?”  It’s an empty offer.  They both know that if Rory stayed for the party, that would just cause all kinds of problems.  And Madge doesn’t feel like lying the whole night through in front of her friends.

 

“I’m sure.  I gotta go meet some friends, but please tell Thom and Delly that I said congratulations.”

 

“I will,” Gale nods, hugging his brother tightly and patting him on the back.  “Bye.”

 

“Bye, man.  Bye, Madge.  Good to see you.”

 

“You too, Rory,” she smiles politely, and Gale’s brother saunters away, leaving the two alone.  For a second Madge considers asking him about Rory, how he’s doing, but she decides against it.  Talking about Gale’s family always has to be delicate, and Madge doesn’t want to argue.  Not tonight, because tonight’s about Thom and Delly.  “That’s a lot of flowers.”

 

“Thom said that Delly likes Carnations,” he tries to justify, but there are three full bouquets of beautiful flowers, and they both laugh for a second.  At least he bought the right kind of flower, Madge thinks, and Delly’s always been a more is more kind of girl anyway.

 

So they put up the tacky sign wishing the couple congratulations, near the back corner of the bar where the waiters didn’t mind.  It’s a bit silly, but Madge misses these kinds of get togethers and is glad that their having one tonight.

 

“Did you come straight from work?” he asks after a while, when they’ve finished everything.  They’re just waiting on everyone else to get here.

 

“No, I went home to change and stuff first,” Madge nods.  “What about you?  Which sitter did you call?”

 

“Taryn?  You know, the daughter of my neighbour just a couple doors down.”

 

“Oh yeah, she’s nice.”  They tend to share the same babysitters so that they can cross-reference each other on who’s good and who’s not.

 

“Mhm.  I picked up Dakota from school and then Taryn came over.  KoKo seemed happy about spending a night with someone who wasn’t me,” he jokes, and Madge rolls her eyes.  “But I think they’ll have fun.”

 

“Good,” Madge nods.  “Even when I leave her for just a night, I still miss her, you know?”

 

“Yeah, and then we each do a week,” he points out scoffing.  They both love Kota and wish they could have her around more often, but this is the best they can do.  It has to work, and it does.

 

Johanna arrives after about 20 minutes in a full dark and grungy ensemble.  Her eye makeup is smudged out deliberately, and it shows off her hazel eyes and contrasts her bright hair.

 

“I brought champagne!” she exclaims, holding up the heavy bottle.  Madge laughs and sets it down on the table, giving her roommate a hug.

 

“Thanks Jo.”

 

“No problem.  I saw some of Thom’s friends downstairs, Leevy and Bristel?  They should be coming up any minute now.”

 

And they do.  Soon, the whole group has gathered, chatting excitedly and sipping on cocktails waiting for the newly engaged couple to arrive.  Madge mostly sticks around Jo, looking around anxiously to make sure that people are enjoying themselves.

 

“Will you calm down?” her friend asks.  “Everything is perfect.  You did a good job.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yes,” she reassures, looking around the area to find something to compliment.  “The flowers are beautiful.”

 

“That was Gale, Jo.”

 

“Whoops,” she retracts, and Madge rolls her eyes.  Jo’s expression softens a little bit and she smiles.  “I know you’ve been obsessed with this whole thing for almost a week, and it shows.  Delly’s going to love it, you know?”

 

As if their friend’s name summoned Delly herself, Gale speaks up to the table.  “Guys, they’re coming up now.  Thom just texted me.  Let’s be quiet until they come around the corner.”

 

So everyone shuts up, but the constant buzz of chatter from the rest of the bar persists.  Madge can’t wait to see Delly and look at her smile, but turns out they hear her voice first.

 

“Babe, we really don’t have to stay if you don’t want to, we could just go home.”

 

“No, I want to.  I need to show you something.”

 

“Thom, I-”

 

“ **Surprise!** ” everyone shouts, and Delly just about staggers back.  Her smile is already ear-to-ear, and she clutches onto Thom in excitement.  They share a look, one that words can’t describe, and he kisses her on the forehead with an arm draped around her waist.

 

Madge runs up to her best friend and hugs her tight, gazing at the ring on her finger and tries not to cry.  “Congrats, Dell.”

 

“You guys were all in on this?” she asks in disbelief.  “I can’t believe it.”

 

“I wanted to talk to you about it so badly,” she admits with a chuckle.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“What are you apologizing for?” Delly asks unbelievingly.  “It was beautiful, he got down on a knee when we were sitting on a bench in the park, when I was flipping through my bag and didn't notice.”

 

“We think it was the one we sat on during that first date,” Thom adds, coming up from behind her and snaking two arms around her.  “But neither of us could remember.”

 

“It didn’t matter anyway,” she insists, looking up at Thom, who’s closely gazing down at her.  Delly can’t stop beaming while he peppers her face with kisses, so Madge places a hand on her friend’s arm.

 

“Well we have some snacks coming soon if you guys are hungry, but please order a drink or something, okay?”

 

“We will, thanks Madge,” Thom nods, and with that she reverts back to just conversing with the rest of the people, letting the newly engaged couple share a couple of moments.

 

Most of the people here she knows.  A couple of Thom’s friends are Gale’s friends too, so she recognizes Bristel and Leevy from a couple of court meetings years ago.  It’s only slightly awkward that they reside in the same social circles these days, but it’s not really a problem.  They’re both adults after all, it’s not like either of them would stop being friends with these people.

 

She chats absentmindedly with two of Delly’s colleagues who work alongside her at the boutique.  It must've been hard to work alongside her and never mention it, or maybe that's only a problem for Madge.  She's awful when it comes to keeping secrets.

 

Johanna pops the bottle of champagne and everyone cheers.  It's a perfect night for celebration, so Madge decides to stop deciphering everyone’s fun levels and takes a flute for herself.

 

“It's real champagne.  Like, from the region of Champagne,” Jo insists happily.  “Isn't it so much better?”

 

“Tastes expensive,” she nods in response.  “Even though we can't tell the difference.”

 

Jo snorts.  “That's true.  In that case I should've just bought the cheap shit.”

 

Everyone has more to drink.  It's social and good, and even when Madge switches to water after her second drink, she’s having fun and that's good.

 

Soon the instrumental jazz feels a little loud and intrusive, so Madge feels like getting some fresh air for a second.  She tells Jo she’ll be right back and walks away from their corner, walking towards where she predicts a washroom might be.

 

She wanders the halls of the venue aimlessly, sort of seeking the washroom but sort of just looking to get away from the crowds of people.  Before she rounds the corner, Madge heard two familiar voices murmuring from further down, so she pauses to eavesdrop.

  
"I just don't get it.  I say this to Madge all the time, you guys seem perfect for each other."  It's Delly of course.  She's pretty obviously tipsy, saying things to Gale that she wouldn't normally say.

  
A warm chuckle follows Delly's words, a chuckle that could only be him.  "I don't know, it's complicated.  Cliché, but true."

  
"Complicated how?  You guys have a kid together, you would make such a pretty family," Madge's friend giggles.  "But also, Madge isn't happy.  I know you could make her happy."

  
"What do you mean she's not happy?"  He sounds like he's worried and concerned.  Madge knows it's more for Dakota than it is her own well being.  

  
"You know.  She's just not happy.  Her job is a fucking bore, all her dates are a bust.  Half the time she's unbelievably busy with Kota and the other half of the time she's bored out of her mind.  Maybe if you two got together, it would alleviate most of those issues..."

  
"That's not how it works."  It’s not.  Delly’s honest words about her life hurt, they really do.  But Madge knows that they’re true, she just didn’t realize how transparent she was about her dissatisfaction.

  
"But why?" Delly insists, and Madge almost laughs audibly at how much whiney Delly sounds like her four year old daughter.  

  
"Because we've been through too much shit for the equation to add up anymore,” he puts simply.  Madge can’t see his face, but she knows he’s sad, but trying to seem passive about it.  That’s how he always gets when their relationship comes up, so does Madge.  It’s uncomfortable to talk about, but it’s done, it’s something they should take lightly.  They need to for Dakota’s sake.

 

Gale pauses and he thinks, and usually Delly would try to fill the silence and add on more words but Delly always becomes more pensive and more inquisitive when she’s had a couple glasses of wine.  “You know we used to play this game,” she hears.  “In college, just a stupid thing Madge and I would do in my last year, when everything was good.  Casual, but really good.”

 

“What was it?”

 

“I don’t know, I called it the love game.  We would say that we loved things about each other, like, ‘I love your shirt,’ or ‘I love your humour’ or ‘I love the way you kiss me.’  Sounds dense I bet, but we’d say shit like that all the time, back and forth until one of us got dangerously close to saying the actual words.  I love you.”

 

“How did _that_ start?”

 

“I don't know.  I probably let the world slip one day, and Madge thought it would've been best to cover it up by making it humorous.”

 

“She'd do that.”

 

Gale chuckles.  “Yeah.  She would.”

 

Madge’s heart hurts just remembering that time in her life, when her biggest problem was not believing Gale Hawthorne could really be into her, that he could ever want to utter those words that are echoing down the hallway right now.  They were fooling around, not dating but still meaning something to each other that was more than friends.  The game was a way of teasing and challenging each other, it kept them on their toes.

 

Gale continues.  “Anyway, I remember wanting to say it.  Everyday, more and more, and I know that I loved her, I still do in a lot of ways.  She hasn’t changed enough for me to stop loving her.   But I always think that maybe if we hadn’t made a game out of _not_ saying it, and if I had just spat the words out when I felt them, things would’ve been different for us.”

 

“Just because of a game.”

 

“Yup.  I told you it would sound stupid, but it would've stabilized things.  Long distance would've been easier.”

 

“You think she would’ve trusted you more?” Delly ponders.

 

“Yeah of course.  She thinks I’m heartless,” he chuckles.  “Maybe I am, that’s probably why her parents despise me.”

 

He’s dead on.  Her mother thinks he’s some kind of jerk robot programmed to ruined Madge’s life, and her dad thinks so little of him that he thinks Gale wouldn’t care if Kota was taken away from him.  Madge doesn’t bother defending him anymore, it only leads to more lectures on how Gale uses her and exploits her emotion.  It’s not helpful, Kota needs her dad around to teach her all the things Madge can’t.  Gale is smart and handy and confident, and Madge couldn’t exude less confidence if she tried.

 

“But hey,” she hears him offer with a change in tone.  He definitely wants to change the subject, understandably.  “You’re fucking engaged, Cartwright.  Congratulations.”

 

“Thanks so much, Gale,” Delly responds.  “For this, honestly.”

 

“Oh, this was all Thom’s idea, don't credit me at all,” Gale jokes, and then Madge decides to walk briskly away, not bothering to eavesdrop on their small talk.  She needs to find a washroom, or somewhere quiet - to breath and just be alone for a second.

 

Finally she walks into the sleek washroom and stares at herself at the sink, hands propped on the counter.  Her hair is mussed and her makeup is slightly smudged just from socializing the whole night through.  She wonders why no one ever tells her these things.

 

Madge didn't know that Gale still thought about those things - the things they said in college, the things they didn't say.  They've been a team, a platonic group trying to work together for so many years that she doesn't even remember what it was like when they weren't platonic.  

 

But in a way, it's coming back to her.  The way they used to smile at, flirt with, kiss one another.  They were such different people back then, so concentrated on each other and barely anything else.  It was naive but she'd never been more happy.  Maybe that’s what made their relationship so hard when Gale graduated, they couldn’t be together as much anymore and started focusing on other things.

 

It was so good, the two of them, but Madge doesn’t usually let herself get nostalgic about it for too long.  She probably hasn’t stopped loving Gale either, the Gale she knew in college at least.  But they’re different people now, like he said, and there’s no way to go back.  Madge wouldn’t want to.

 

She wipes her eye makeup a little bit and dabs her forehead gently with a napkin, trying to make herself presentable again.  All she wanted was some fresh air, but instead she got winded with nostalgia.  Funny how these things turn out.

 

Madge wonders if Gale feels it to, clearly he thinks about their old relationship sometimes but she wonders if he misses the feelings ever so often like she does.  She thinks not; both of them are so preoccupied with Kota, work and dating that it only ever really hits her when she’s really lonely or bored.  But Gale is never really lonely, never really bored, it’s problem just a memory refusing to budge.

 

But she’ll never know.  Not at this rate, so she takes one final look in the mirror and walks back out to the party.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stuff is happening, what do you guys think? I had this chapter written for a while now, and I'm curious as to what you guys think about Gale & Madge's surpressed feelings for each other. 
> 
> Please leave a comment if you have time! Thanks so much for reading and I'll see you guys next week. <3


	7. Chapter 7

When Gale drops Dakota off at Madge’s place on Friday, he looks chipper.  Madge on the other hand just got home from work and really feels tired out from a busy week.  Thom and Delly’s engagement night was tons of fun, but she and Jo got home pretty late and it’s thrown off her whole sleep schedule for the past few days.

 

Nevertheless, she puts on a happy face and smiles at her daughter.  “Hey baby.  How was school today?”

 

“Fun,” is her response, as always.  She looks around and spots Johanna in the kitchen and decides to run over to her.  “Auntie JoJo!”

 

“Hi KoKo,” Jo laughs, picking her up and bouncing her up and down.

 

Madge watches for a while as her daughter laughs and chats happily with Jo, but then she turns back to Gale who’s looking at her intently by the door.  He hands her the weekly bag unceremoniously.  “Thanks.”

 

“For what?” he asks with a chuckle, raising his eyebrow.  

 

“For this,” Madge offers, holding up the duffel.  “And dropping her off, I guess.  I know you do it every week, just felt like the thing to say.”

 

Gale nods, maybe he understands.  He fidgets with his car keys in his hands, jingling them and playing with the metal hoop.  “Hey, we should meet this weekend to go over finance stuff, you know,” Gale mentions, and even the mention of the word has Madge groaning.

 

She does know.  Every so often they need to just sit down together and go through their records.  Bills and any big expenses that they might need to deal with together.  But Madge can’t think of any recent big expenses, they usually only even touch on the subject of money if it’s a medical bill or lessons of some sort.  Or if they’re talking about her parents.  Always her parents.

 

“Sure,” she shrugs, not really having a valid excuse not to meet him.  When Madge got home from work today she immediately changed into a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts, and right now she feels severely underdressed standing next to Gale in his suit.  “When?”

 

“Tomorrow?”

 

“Yeah, sounds good,” she nods.  “Do you want me to come over to your place, or…”

 

“Tomorrow some of Thom’s guys are coming in.  To seal off the tiling for my bathroom, I think they’re using some loud machinery which obviously wouldn’t be ideal.”

 

“I thought your bathroom was finished,” Madge ponders out loud, trying to recall their conversation with his family.

 

“Not totally, there are still some final touches to be made.”

 

Usually they just go over to his place, because when they meet at hers, Johanna is always there, and Johanna is distracting as hell.  She’s always peering over shoulders and huffing at how much some child expenses cost, while cracking jokes that make it hard to stay on track.  After a couple of failed attempts of getting things done Madge knew they had to relocate.

 

“Okay, so where should we go?”

 

“We could go to a coffee shop?”

 

“With Kota?  I don’t want her to get bored, you know how she is when she’s forced to just sit there,” she keeps in mind, and Gale tries to think.  It’s hard to keep a four year old entertained in a small public setting.  At least in their homes they can turn on the TV or switch tasks and games for her every so often.  “I mean you could just come here, it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever.”

 

But Jo pipes up.  “How about  _ I  _ babysit her here and  _ you two _ go to the coffee shop?  That way you guys don’t have to deal with me,” she snorts, pretending to be pissed but probably getting it.  It’s not an attack on her person at all, Jo actively tries to keep them off track and won’t even deny it.

 

“Really Jo?” Madge asks with a thankful smile.

 

“Yeah, really.  I haven’t spend time with this one in so long,” she explains, nodding at Kota who’s at the kitchen table, sipping on a juice box.  “We’ll just stay here.  Or go do something fun, whatever we’re feeling then.”

 

“That would actually work better for us,” Gale adds, lowering his voice for only Madge to hear.  “Because we can plan her birthday too.  Coming up soon, right?”

 

She nods blindly in agreement, before her eyes widen and register the date.  Dakota’s birthday is coming up and she hadn’t even thought about it before.  Madge had been so distracted with work and other aspects of her life that she forgot her daughter’s birthday was in this same month.  Well, she knew it was in the month, she just didn’t realize how quickly this month had come.  Madge curses at herself for it, and now she feels irritated that Gale was the one to bring it up first.  “Yeah, yeah, definitely.  We should plan something nice for her.  Can we meet at Sae’s around 2?  Would that work?”

 

Gale nods.  “Yeah, okay.  See you then.”

 

“Bye, Gale.”

 

“Later, Undersee,” he nods, smiling boyishly before heading out of her door.  Madge wonders what his plans are this Friday night, whether he’s going out or staying in.  She for one is waiting for Delly to come over, she’s bringing Indian food and they’re going to have a girls’ night in, sipping wine and catching up.  She and Johanna haven’t talked to her since the party, Madge wonders what she and Thom have been up to.

 

She sits down at the kitchen table next to Dakota, and laughs when her daughter gets out of her own chair and asks to be placed in her lap.  Madge lifts her and bounces her up and down, smiling into her light blonde hair.

 

“I missed you, KoKo.”

 

Kota just smiles back brightly, biting her straw and staring down at the table.

 

“Tell me more about school?  What did you do today?’  Madge knows she probably hears the question far too often, it’s Gale’s favourite conversation starter too.  But they genuinely want to know what their daughter is up to, and Kota really does thinks about it most of the time.

 

“Um…” she ponders, racking her brain.  “We did crafts.  Finger painting.”

 

“That’s wonderful, I can’t wait to see your art,” Madge smiles, kissing her chubby cheek.  She turns to Jo who’s on her phone, presumably texting Delly.  “Is she on her way?”

 

“She said she was on the stairs, like, seven minutes ago,” she shrugs, raising an eyebrow.

 

Then Delly bursts through the door, not even bothering to knock.  She has two bags of takeout in her hands and a brown bag from the liquor store tucked under her arm.  “Hi!  Sorry, I ran into Gale on the staircase.  We had a little chat.”

 

“No problem.  Just take your sweet time getting us fed,” Jo deadpans, taking out plates and utensils from the cupboard and bringing them into the living room.

 

“I said I was sorry!” the blonde tries to justify, shedding her coat and handing Madge the food.  “Besides, we literally just talked for a second.  I like him.”

 

“Marry him too, I dare you,” Jo challenges with a smirk, and Madge snorts.

 

“I hate you guys,” Delly whines with false spite.  “Why can’t you just be happy for me?”

 

“We are happy for you,” Madge assures, but Delly turns to KoKo sitting on the couch.  

 

“KoKo, are you happy for me?”

 

“Why should I be happy, Delly?”  They’d decided ever since Dakota learned to talk that Delly would be addressed by her first name.  Not  _ Auntie _ or anything else.  Jo on the other hand never really minded at all, and probably finds it sweet.

 

“I’m getting married to Uncle Thom,” she replies as-a-matter-of-factly, still brimming with excitement two days later.  She puts out her hand and kneels by the couch to show the little girl her jewelry.  Dakota opens her mouth in amazement and stares.

 

“Married?  That's hard. Mommy and Daddy aren’t even married.”

 

“Well, sweetie, that’s different,” Delly laughs, stroking her hair affectionately.  “But yes, he asked me to be his wife on Wednesday.  Didn’t Dad tell you?”

 

“I think so,” Kota replies innocently giggling.  “I’m happy for you.”

 

“Thanks,” Delly grins, satisfied with what she got out of that interaction.  With that, she turns to her friends and smiles coyly.  Madge and Jo have been staring.  “Okay.  We don’t have to talk about my engagement anymore.”

 

“No that’s not what I want!  I want to hear all about it,” Madge insists.  She isn’t banded together with Jo, who couldn’t care less about mushy, lovey dovey things (though she suspects her friend secretly does care a little bit).  “Please.  How are things between you guys now?  Are you really excited, already planning?”

 

Delly shakes her head and shrugs.  “Not yet, I don’t really care about the specifics as long as it’s big.”  She knows herself, Delly’s the type to take things as they come but also dream about those huge ceremonies and receptions.  “And right now, I feel like we’re closer than ever.  We’re back to that period of time when we just started dating, the honeymoon phase or whatever?”

 

“That sounds awesome,” Madge smiles, shoveling more food into her mouth.  

 

“And you know, for all the time that he worked late and that we lost, he sure knows how to compensate,” Delly jokes with a teasing grin.  She rolls her eyes at her friend, looking over at her daughter to make sure she wasn’t listening too closely.  Johanna snickers.

 

“What does that mean to you guys?  Like, every night?” Jo interrogates, but Delly just keeps mischievously smiling and sipping wine from her glass.  “More than that?  Damn Cartwright, I don’t even know if I should be grossed out, moved or impressed.”

 

“Moved, just moved” she responds, encouraging her friend’s ridiculous vocabulary.

 

They eat and talk until Dakota get’s tired, yawning and asking to be put to bed.  So the three women take a little break to get Kota washed up and tucked in; Delly reads her a bedtime story while Madge strokes her hair into slumber, Jo watching by the door.

 

When KoKo’s out cold and breathing rhythmically, the friends leave and go back to their conversation.

 

“Madge, can I just say for the thousandth time how much I adore your daughter?” Delly asks rhetorically, brimming with joy.  “She’s adorable and so much like the two of you.  All of the best parts.”

 

She hopes that is true and lifts the wine glass to hide her proud smile.  “Thanks Delly.”

 

* * *

 

Sae’s is a convenient coffee joint downtown.  It's right by Madge’s workplace, and funnily enough they used to hang out in here when they were in college and still dating.  They’re peculiar memories, mostly ones of studying and keeping each other company.  Madge thinks that they’re neutral memories too, otherwise he wouldn’t offer to meet here so often.

 

When she arrives at two she isn’t surprised that Gale is already sitting at a table by the window, because she’s always on time for things and Gale is always grotesquely early.

 

He doesn’t seem to notice her walking in, his eyes are glued to his phone while scrolling vigorously with his fingers.  So she decides to buy two coffees for them and bring them over.

 

“Hi,” Madge greets when she puts the steaming cups on the table.  Gale looks up, surprised and confused.

 

“Hi, how long have you been here?”

 

“Not long.  I just thought you’d want coffee,” she smiles politely, and he accepts her offer, holding the black coffee and giving it one sip.

 

She looks at him for a second, really looks at him.  Never does she really see him in normal clothes anymore, but right now he’s wearing a dark grey t-shirt and washed out jeans.  He looks good, Madge notices the looks the barista is giving him but doesn’t mind it.

 

“Okay, do you want off start with Kota’s birthday stuff or actual business?”

 

“Birthday stuff, please,” she begs jokingly.  Money isn’t fun, Madge would much rather plan her daughter’s fifth birthday than talk about her vaccination schedule.  “Do you know who has her this year?”

 

“I do,” Gale answers, almostly solemnly.  “Sorry.”

 

Madge candidly laughs and instantly hopes he doesn’t take offense.  “You don’t have to apologize.  You’ve done nothing wrong.”

 

“We’ll obviously plan to do something for her, though.  So you’ll get to see her.”

 

“Of course,” she nods, then stopping to think.  This year Madge wants to make it super special and memorable for Dakota, because it’s probably one of the first years that she’ll actually remember.  “Do you have any ideas?”

 

“Well she loves the park,” he offers, and Madge can’t believe that didn’t come to mind.  KoKo loves spending time in parks, watching pets and playing on the playground.  She’s thankful her birthday is in October when the temperature is still warm enough to be outside, otherwise she wouldn’t know what to do.

 

“Okay, well why don’t we plan a party for her?  We can invite all of her classmates and have a little picnic.”

 

“That sounds incredibly fun,” Gale agrees, smiling at the idea.  “Okay, let’s do it.”

 

“Cool,” she states in return, surprised at how little resistance he had to her idea.  The cogs in her brain are turning again, and she’s getting into planning mode again.  “Well we don’t have to do too much for now, but I guess this week I can hand out invitations after school to some parents?  We’re lucky that her birthday’s on a Saturday.”

 

“And I can pick up the food, decorations or whatever when the time comes,” he nods and Madge smiles.

 

“Thanks, Gale.”

 

“No problem, obviously I will, Undersee.”

 

She doesn’t know when they got into the habit of unnecessarily thanking one another, but it’s not necessarily a bad thing.  It’s better than not getting along, because then nothing good comes out of that.  Right now when they’re getting along, she barely has to think about her family, or having to see his over Thanksgiving, though the thought is looming over her head.  Someone clears their throat beside them, so Madge looks up.

 

“Magdalene.”

 

“Finnick!” she exclaims, smiling brightly back at him.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“I just finished the Saturday show,” he reminds, and Madge nods back remembering the fact.  The radio station is just down the street and Finnick is just grabbing a coffee before he heads home.  She hadn’t even thought about that when she agreed to a meeting here with her ex-boyfriend.  Speaking of, Gale sets down his coffee which makes a thudding noise, nodding at her co-worker.

 

“Hey man, I don’t think we’ve met before, in real life at least.”  The two men shake hands tightly and Finnick gives him a signature grin.

 

“Well then, you know who  _ I  _ am.  And I’m guessing you’re the infamous Gale Hawthorne.”

 

That word causes Gale to raise an eyebrow and Madge to pep up.  “Infamous?”

 

“Oh, didn’t Madge tell you?  We have an ‘I hate Gale’ poster up in the office.  Everyone throws darts at it and everything.”

 

Gale chuckles with a false sense of humour, but doesn’t seem to be amused.  Madge feels bad, Finnick’s up front sort of humour isn’t for everyone and Gale certainly isn’t enjoying it.  And there was probably a point when she didn’t care about that either, when she would let people say whatever they want about Gale and she wouldn’t even think about his emotions in it.  That was years ago, when he had just broken up with her.

 

But now things feel different, she doesn’t know why.  Nothing has tangibly changed, but the conversation she heard between him and her best friend at the engagement party definitely changed something.

 

“No, I’m just playing around.  I’ve only heard good things about you, it’s cool to finally meet you in person,” Finnick reconciles, and Gale nods in response.  He uses his words sparingly, it was something she always loved about him.  “So what are you guys doing?  Looks fun,” he asks, gesturing at the papers and notebooks splayed across the small coffee table.

 

“Every few months we meet up to update each other on finances, bigger picture baby stuff, you know,” she explains.

 

“Parenting sounds thrilling,” he deadpans, but Madge defends her role.

 

“It is.  Maybe one day you’ll find out.”

 

He scoffs and stuffs one hand in his pocket and extends the other, holding his cup out to raise his glass out to them.  “I’m gonna run.  I’ll see you at work on Monday, Madge.”

 

“Bye Finnick.”

 

“Bye.  Nice to meet you man?” he says to Gale while walking away.  And after that brief intermission Madge takes out some of her bills, ready to get right back into the process, but Gale seems bothered.

 

“He seems into you.”

 

Madge almost cries of laughter in disbelief.  “What?”

 

“Odair.  He could be interested in you,” Gale shrugs, but she only shakes her head in response.

 

“No, trust me he’s not.  He’s really into this other girl, irrationally so.  And besides, he’s like an older brother or a cousin.”

 

But why does she find the need to try and justify this to Gale?  It shouldn’t matter to him anyway, but clearly it does to some extent, and Madge just wants to ease that.  For a minute they just sip their coffees.  Gale studies his phone again and she just studies him.  His eyebrows are furrowed, she’s not sure what’s the matter.

 

“Can we move on to the money stuff?”

 

He looks up, perplexed for a second, but then nods.  “Yeah, yeah.  Sure, let’s do it.”

 

So they get through the rest of their tasks, and Madge ignores the fact that he’s probably feeling a little bit off, hoping that not acknowledging it will keep them on track.  And for the most part, it works.  They’re back into the groove of operating in no time.  They get past the bills, everything is being spent pretty close to budget and equally too.

 

When they had just learned that they would be raising a child together, Madge had tried to make the entire sharing process as methodical as possible.  It’s worked to some extent, but it didn’t minimize their interaction of anything of that nature that 21 year old Madge would’ve wanted.

 

But to be honest, 21 year old Madge was secretly desperate for him to take her back and spend more time with her.  Maybe this is ironically, her getting what she wants after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting... emotionally complicated.
> 
> Thank you for your patience with this one, I've been swamped this week. I'm afriad that the next two weeks might have irregular updates too as I'll be doing some travelling, but I'll make it a main priority to bring you guys more of this story!
> 
> Comments and kudos always appreciated, thank you so much for reading and sticking around.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I usually try to keep author notes short before chapters but I just want to apologize again for the late update. I think I’m going to stop trying to update at the same time every week, I want to make this story as good as possible without trying to rush chapters out. Good thing the next two have been pre-written. I’ll be on vacation though, so I’ll update if I find wifi.
> 
> Also, I’d like to thank the guest who left me a lengthy review filled with constructive criticism. I took your suggestions to heart and am so happy you care about my story enough to help me out. I didn’t publish your review, I hope you’re okay with that.   
>    
> I didn’t want to publish this chapter and just skip it because it just felt like more of the same, but I couldn’t find any way around it, I think it’s kind of important. I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! It’s been a hard few weeks, so please leave me a comment if you have the time. They mean the world to me.

Time is passing excruciating slow as Madge sits in meetings all Tuesday afternoon.  She scribbles figures in her journal and writes brief notes of everything being discussed, but otherwise she’s left to stare blankly at the ceiling and drum her fingers on the table.  Thank god she needs to slip out in ten minutes to go pick up Kota from school.

 

It’s all the important personnel from the company, discussing “big picture” stuff.  The topic is so vague that half the room is rarely involved in what’s being talked about.  After a few minutes, she gets a text from Finnick.

 

**Finnick:** _ Dozing off? ;) _

 

Immediately she straightens her back, shooting him a glare from across the room.  She’s not usually the lethargic type, and if Finnick noticed her getting bored she doesn’t know who else could’ve seen.

 

**Madge:** _ Haha.  As if you’re enticed by budgets and finance. _

 

Neither of them are.  That’s why they’re texting each other.

 

**Finnick:** _ I’m sorry about Saturday by the way.   _

 

**Madge:** _ What? _

 

**Finnick:** _ With you and your baby daddy.  I know it was awkward. _

 

**Madge:** _ No, you were fine.  Why was it awkward? _

 

**Finnick:** _ I’m not sure.  You were so… cordial. _

 

Madge tilts her head in confusion and thinks hard.  Cordial is one way to put it, she likes to think that they’re actually friends. But sometimes it does feel forced, it feels like they’re just ignoring the bigger problems.  Some bigger problems she can’t even put a name to herself, but it frustrates her that her friend could see right through it.

 

“Mr. Odair, are you listening?” one of the station’s partners asks from the head of the table.  He and Madge quickly put their phones away and look up to the front.  Maybe they’ll get to talk about this later.

 

“So anyway, we want to hire some curators.  People who can put together playlists for certain holidays and events that are not just your generic songs for those occasions.  It would set us apart,” Haymitch explains.  “They could also improve the songs we’re playing now.  We’re taking too many requests.”

 

“Don’t we have those already?” another company member asks.

 

“We have people who gather analytics about the top songs, and people who collect requests and sends them to our hosts.  But I want to start playing different music, actually introduce the public to songs they might not hear hundreds of times a day.”

 

Often, Haymitch will suggest radical new changes like this.  They’re most of the time hard to execute and seldom come to life, but they’re what convinces Madge that he’s not a complete lazy oaf after all. The propositions are idealistic, but they prove that he cares about the station at least a little bit.

 

“Okay.  Should we make a job posting?  Or hire from within?”

 

Haymitch rubs his stubble.  “Well, could we hire within?  Is anyone even qualified?”

 

“Madge majored in music,” Finnick blurts out to his boss, causing her eyes to open wide and for her back to shoot up straight.  “Did you forget?”

 

“No, Finnick, don’t worry I-”

 

“Madge?” Haymitch interjects, looking straight down the room.

 

“Yes, Madge.  Your assistant,” her friend kids, not even looking at her to gage her reaction.

 

It’s not that she wouldn’t want to do it.  She would do anything to just work with music again, she never had the funds to buy her own piano and even when she works at a music station, she’s never part of the music process.  But it’s just that she would never volunteer herself like this, she doesn’t want Haymitch to think that she’s dissatisfied.

 

Finnick is still talking.  “I’m just saying, if you want to hire from within you have a qualified person sitting right outside your office everyday.”

 

“Haymitch, this was not my idea at all,” Madge insists.  “I don’t  _ need _ a new job.  I mean, I did major in contemporary music but that’s besides the point.”

 

“Good,” her boss says curtly, and for a second she’s confused.  Screw Finnick, for even planting the idea in her head.  “Because we’re not hiring from within.”

 

And her heart drops only a little bit.

 

“Let’s move on.”

 

So they get through other mundane items on the agenda while she wallows, hoping that Haymitch doesn’t think any different of her.  Madge knows that sometimes she has trouble stepping out of her comfort zone, but this, in her opinion, isn’t the way to do it.

 

“Okay folks, it’s three right now, let’s take a ten minute break and then finish up the rest,” Haymitch offers after a while, but Madge’s ear shoot up.

 

Three?  How did she miss the time, she was supposed to pick up Dakota ten minutes ago!  Hurriedly, she rushes out of the conference room past the other people and grabs her coat and her purse, bolting out of the building.  Madge knew that today was going to be a bad day, she could feel it as soon as she woke up.  

 

Thankfully in the early afternoon the streets are clear enough for her to hail a cab and rush to the school.  Dakota gets out at three, and usually she tries to get there right on time.  

 

When she’s sitting in the backseat, patiently waiting to arrive at her destination, her phone buzzes once more.

 

**Gale:** _ Don’t forget to hand out the invites. _

 

“Shit,” she curses under her breath.  The invites to Kota’s birthday party, the ones that are currently sitting on her kitchen table that she couldn’t hand out to any parents even if she did have them.  Most of the children have probably already been picked up, and now Madge truly doesn’t think her day could get any worse.

 

When she gets to the school she tells the driver to stay there and keep the meter running.  Kota is sitting on her customary bench next to her teacher, and when she sees her mom she smiles dimly.

 

“Hi Mommy.”

 

“I’m so sorry baby,” she cries, giving her baby girl a tight hug.  “I got caught up in a meeting at work.  I’m so sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” Dakota insists, turning back to look at Effie.  “Ms. Trinket and I played ‘I Spy.’”

 

Madge turns to Ms. Trinket with an apologetic look.  The woman looks tired, not her usual peppy self, and Madge feels bad about making her stay longer than necessary.  “I’m so sorry Effie.”

 

“Don’t worry dear, I told you Kota would be fine with me if you’re running late.”

 

“I still feel awful about it, though.  And I was supposed to hand her birthday party invitations today.  But now I’m late, and I forgot them anyway.”

 

“If you bring them tomorrow morning, I could hand them out for you,” the teacher says kindly, and Madge almost sighs at the kindness this lady gives to her and her daughter.

 

“That would be so helpful.  I’ll bring them tomorrow for sure.”

 

“Alright then.  Bye now, Dakota!”

 

“Bye bye,” the four year old says with a wave, and then they hold hands walking over to the stalled cab.  “Is it a special day?” she asks, looking at the interior of the car with confusion.

 

“No, I just called a cab because I was in a hurry.  And I know it was a long day, we’re all tired.”

 

“I thought that Daddy picked us up,” Kota laughs, giggling happily.  “Because whenever I’m with Daddy we drive  _ everywhere _ !”

 

Gale had started saving up for that SUV the minute they decided they would be raising a child together.  Madge supposes that it’s good for when they drive out to meet his family, but otherwise she has no use for one.  In the city it’s faster most of the time to walk or take the subway, and that’s what she likes best.

 

“What are we doing now, Mommy?”

 

“Well, I need to clean the apartment tonight, baby.  I promise Auntie Jo that I would.”  The bookshelves and living area is getting cluttered, and they both would like to see it organized and clean.  “But is there anything you want to do now?  We could go for ice cream, or go to the park for a little while.”

 

“Can we go to Daddy’s?”

 

“Pardon?” she sputters, asking for clarification.  Madge is in disbelief for a second.  It feels like a blow to her parenting abilities, although she’s sure it’s nothing like that.

 

“I miss Daddy.  Also, I want to go there with you.”

 

Dakota just misses her parents together, and Madge understands.  But the initial words still shock her though.  She thought that it was enough for each of them to have her half the time, but apparently it doesn’t average out like that.  It’s a good thing that on her birthday they’re going to spend the whole day together, they’ll put up with each other for their child.

 

“I don’t know baby, Daddy’s probably busy right now, he didn’t plan for us to stop by.  How about we go to the supermarket for a little bit and then head home?  Johanna’s making dinner, can you help me pick up some stuff for her?”

 

Kota agrees hesitantly, pouting her bottom lip and putting up a little bit of protest.  By the time they get dropped off at the supermarket near their apartment though, she’s too busy staring at the colourful fruits and asking to buy every piece of candy on the shelves to remember.  Madge is happy that she’s happy, but she quickly grabs what she needs and buys a lollipop for Kota, just to thank her for the company.

 

For dinner Johanna is making fresh pasta, and Madge was confused by the grocery list until she realized that her friend was making pesto from scratch.  It’s delicious and decadent, by the end everyone’s full, and they sit on the couch playing and chatting with Dakota until she’s tired out.  They aren’t going to start tidying until the kid is fast asleep, otherwise she’d be far too distracting.

 

“Okay, I think we can get started,” Madge states after Kota is all washed up and tucked into bed.  Johanna hands her a glass of white wine happily and turns to inspect the cluttered mess of the living room.

 

It’s not a disaster, there’s just a lot of stuff that they should probably get rid of that’s been sitting around the home.  Old magazine, papers and books that they don’t read are pushed into their bookshelf tightly.

 

“Wow, we really have so much shit in this corner,” Johanna exclaims, pulling her hair back into a messy bun and laughing.  “How long have we been hoarding all of this?”

 

“From when we moved in, probably,” she answers mundanely, looking at some of the items on the cluttered shelves.  There’s even an old textbook from her last year in college.  She sits down and takes out a box from the bottom shelf opening it and smiling with nostalgia.  “Look, I found some of my photos.”

 

During college, she had an affinity for printing the photos that she loved instead of keeping them on her computer.  In the small stack of photographs, there are some pictures of friends and of her family, but most of them are pictures of Gale, and some of them make her chest tight and her breathing shallow.

 

Because  _ they were so in love.  _  It was naive, sure, but when she looks at a particular one, a shot that they set up with the timer on her camera in her dorm room, it makes her wish that she could feel half that amount of happiness sometime soon.  She’s sat crossed legged in front of Gale on her tiny single bed, his hands wrap around her body and meet with hers.  Both of the have barely changed in looks, and when her eyes travel up to their faces, their lips are locked yet their still beaming with joy.

 

There are a couple other pictures, one that she took herself from above while she was probably on top of him, he was shirtless and groggy from having just woken up and there’s a tiny purple love bite just below his mussed up hair.  Gale’s smiling boyishly, a smile she hasn’t really seen in years.

 

“What are you looking at?” Jo asks, bringing Madge back to reality.  She instinctively tries to hide them, but realizes that it’s no use.  She shows her friend some of the pictures, flipping extra quickly through the personal ones.

 

“Gee, what year were these from?”

 

“Our third year,” she estimates.  It had to be, that was the year when things were best, before Gale moved to the city and before they started doing long distance.

 

“Feels like yesterday.”

 

“Yeah,” she exhales, putting the stack back in their box and places them on the shelf.  “It sure does.”

 

“Are you alright?” Jo asks earnestly, crossing her legs next to her friend.  She’s always been observant, and maybe she’ll know even better than Madge herself, what is wrong with her.

 

“I’m okay.  Just, everything stresses me out lately.  I thought I was done with neuroticism.”

 

“No one is ‘done’ with neuroticism,” she replies, rolling her eyes and scooching closer.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“I don’t know if there’s anything to talk about.  I think it’s just a combination of things I’m dealing with.  Everything feels so hostile, even though I know nothing is personal.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like today KoKo said that she wanted to go over to Gale’s when I asked her what she wanted to do,” Madge blurts, alleviating some pent of anxiety.

 

Jo laughs softly, and that’s how Madge knows she was being silly.  “Hey, being shocked by that is a perfectly valid response to something when it’s already been a bad day.  But know that it doesn’t mean anything.  KoKo probably says the exact same thing to Hawthorne all the time.”

 

“But I know that he doesn’t deal with it by sulking and taking it to heart,” she points out.  Maybe Gale  _ isn’t _ all calm and cool composure like the way she always sees him, but she doesn’t have any evidence to prove the contrary.

 

“Please, if anyone were to take something too personally, it would be him,” her friend jokes, making Madge laugh a little bit and shrug silently.  “Is that all?”

 

“No,” she shrugs, thinking about what Finnick was talking out this afternoon.  “I don’t know, do you think that we’re ‘too cordial’ with each other?”

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

“Like, too polite.  Awkwardly so.”

 

“Hm.”  Jo stops to think for a second.  She seems to already have an answer, just not a good way to frame it.  “I think that you guys have a lot of things to deal with, and it’s kind of weird how you choose not to deal with them and just pretend nothing is wrong.”  That makes sense, Madge feels the exact same way.  But what else are they supposed to do?  It can’t just be constant arguing all the time, there has to be some sort of equilibrium.  “You know, the whole thing with Gale’s family, your parents, unresolved feelings…”

 

“What?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Unresolved feelings?”  Madge stares at her best friend, not really sure how to approach this concept.

 

“Sure.  I mean, if I’m wrong and there’s nothing, then that’s fine.  But you can’t speak for Gale.  And you two didn’t break up because you didn’t love each other anymore.  It was other things, time, circumstance, whatever.  You guys never dealt with that.”

 

“Well when we realized we’d be raising a kid together, all of that mushy stuff kind of fell through my list of priorities,” Madge admits, not really knowing how else to put it.  Even though she knew it wasn’t true, feelings just felt like a juvenile thing.  She didn’t have time to deal with the fact that her love just broke her heart when she was about to become a mother.  There were short-term bursts of emotion, but she’s been trying to hold it in.

 

“Look, I’m not saying you should go to couples therapy or something, I’m just saying you should keep it in mind when you guys are talking.  That there’s a lot of things undealt with that should be dealt with.”

 

“Thanks Jo,” she concludes, knowing that they could talk about this forever but shouldn’t, for her own well being.  Madge hates discussing Gale’s hypothetical empathy and emotion and pondering about what if’s.  “Kota’s birthday is next week.  Things will be good then, I hope.”

 

“They definitely will be.  I’ll be there,” her friend grins, definitely never wanting to miss an opportunity to play with KoKo at the park.

 

But even while she says that things will be okay, she doesn’t completely believe it.  Because Madge is Madge, she can only listen to Jo comfort her so long before the stressful thoughts start building up again.  And it pains her because even if what her best friend said was right, and that there were unresolved feeling between them, she wouldn’t know how to sort those feelings out.

 

For now though, she’ll pretend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Gale today, sorry. You’ll get plenty of him next chapter! And then the chapter after that will be the flashback chapter, which I'm so excited about.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys get the update early from me this week. Namely because I'm going to China where Google Docs is blocked, and since I really don't trust AO3 to save my drafts properly, you get the chapter now! I hope you enjoy, thank you so much for sticking with me throughout this story because there's so much more to come!

On Friday night, the night before Dakota’s party, Madge is excited and a little bit anxious for the day to come.  

 

She had dropped Kota off at Gale’s in the afternoon, and this year she seemed more aware that her birthday was coming up than other years

 

“Mommy, Daddy!  I’m going to be five!” she grinned happily, beaming at the small feat.

 

“I know baby, are you excited?” Madge asked, receiving a small nod from her daughter.  “I’ll see you tomorrow okay?  We’re going to do something special.”

 

“The invite said two o’clock, right?” Gale confirmed in a hushed tone, cautious to not let their kid overhear.  “Can you get there a little bit early and I’ll bring her around on time?”

 

“Sure, Gale.”

 

“Thanks, Undersee.”  She stared at his face and looked for a clue that there were things left unsaid, but she couldn’t find anything.  Maybe Jo was wrong afterall, but she’s still too scared to ask.

 

And now, while she’s laying in bed overthinking every conversation they’ve ever had together, she really starts to believe that Gale doesn’t have any afterthoughts about the way things ended.  Even if it wasn’t true, he’s always been more mindful of his composure, able to suppress his emotions if he needed to.

 

Maybe tomorrow will be different.  It’s one of the only times they’ve all spent time together without the stress of being with the Hawthorne family.  And they’ll be with other parents and children, Madge is curious as to how it will turn out.  The only thing she’s certain about is that Dakota will have an amazing time playing at the park with friends, and everything else is second priority.  She’s already decided that she’s going to sleep in far too long, eat a comfortable meal and then head over to the park a couple minutes early like Gale wanted.

 

The loud thoughts soon become an ambient buzz, and before long Madge is fast asleep.  She’s exhausted, it’s a been a long week (it always is when you’re a mom) and she deserves some good rest.  

 

She’s so tired that she sleeps right through the first boom of thunder, and misses the pitter-pattering on the windows.

 

When Madge resurfaces in the late morning, the pouring rain takes her by horrific surprise.  

 

It’s raining.  Their sunny birthday in the park is ruined for certain.  It’s the kind of downpour that’s so heavy that you can’t see the droplets, they’re so dense that they paint the entire sky grey and puddle on the ground.

 

She really should’ve checked the weather in the last few days.  Just add that to the list of things that she fails to do as a mother.

 

Madge gets to her phone and scrolls through some texts from parents, most of them apologizing for the bad weather and asking her to reschedule for a different weekend.  She can’t even project that far right now, all she’s thinking about is poor Kota who won’t have any party like her parents planned.

 

While she’s staring absentmindedly at the texts, her phone comes to life loudly, making her jump.

 

It’s Gale, his tiny contact photo is smiling back at her so she’s fast to pick up.

 

“Hello?” she asks tentatively.

 

_ “Hey.  We’re still on for the party, right?” _

 

He’s mocking her, he has to be.  “What are talking about Gale?  It’s fucking raining.  Of course we’re not on for the party.  Everyone has texted me with apologies, the kids just want to stay home.”

 

_ “I know,”  _ she hears him say through the phone, strained and pensive, like he wants to console her but can’t.   _ “What I meant is that Kota still wants to see you, so we’re still going to drive over at two.  Is that okay?” _

 

Gale’s thoughtful, and Madge is so grateful.  Here she is, moping around like a total mess while Dakota’s father already has a plan B and a way to keep their kid entertained.  And Madge needs to see Dakota, she wants to hug her and wish her a happy birthday.

 

“Yeah, that’s okay.  Jo’s out, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

 

When they get to her place, Kota’s in a pair of yellow rainboots and a matching coat that her grandma picked out for her, and although Madge can’t bear to talk to her mother right now the ensemble is adorable, obviously.  The little girl runs up to her mom, giving her a big hug and jumping into her arms.

 

Madge squeezes and just smells her, closing her eyes tight.  “Happy birthday, baby.”

 

“Mommy, we missed you,” she replies innocently, and Madge bites her tongue to not correct her.  She doubts that Gale ever talks about missing her, and KoKo just assumes that her dad would always miss her mom.

 

But when she looks up at him his expression  _ is _ softer than normal, she thinks that it’s probably pity, but she accepts his hug nonetheless.

 

“Thank you for coming,” she whispers into his chest when he pulls her close.

 

It’s platonic but neither of them could care less.  Madge feels him nod above her.  “Of course.  It was KoKo’s idea, remember?”

 

“Yeah, right,” she nods, looking back at a wide cardboard box sitting on the ground.  “Is that the cake?”

 

“Yeah,” Gale laughs, staring at the gigantic thing and picking it up off the ground.  “It was meant to feed 20 kids, but I guess we have it all to ourselves.”

 

She can’t help but laugh, taking it out of his hands and setting it on the counter.  “Okay, we can eat it whenever we feel like it.  It’s a really nice cake.”

 

“Thanks, I had it iced with the birthday message and everything,” he shrugs with a small smile of pride.  Madge can tell that he’s upset too, that he wishes the whole park-day worked out as well; they’re both just trying to make it work through a disappointing time, he’s just better at hiding his disappointment.

 

“What are we going to do today?” KoKo asks obviously, fiddling with the stiff rubber boots.  Gale quickly kneels to help her get them off and help her with the coat too.

 

“Whatever you want, baby, it's your party,” Madge replies.  “As long as it’s in here.  We can watch movies, we could bake something, but Auntie Jo would kill us if we made a mess of her kitchen…” she starts, listing off options.

 

“Can we play a board game?” their daughter offers, and Madge nods encouragingly before giving Gale a look of confirmation.

 

“Of course.  Let’s pull them out from under the TV and see what we have.|

 

They go through the scarce options (there are only so many board games suited for toddlers) until Kota finally picks  _ Sorry! _ .  It’s actually suited for six year olds and up, but she usually is able to get a hold of the game just fine.

 

“You’ll just have to read the cards for me,” she says to both her parents, sliding the comically wide game box from the shelf all by herself.

 

“What colour do you want to be?” Gale asks when he’s setting up the pawns.

 

Dakota seems to think about it for a while, before finally making up her mind.  “Yellow!  Like my boots.”

 

“I’ll take red,” Madge says, but he looks up at her and grins, already having set aside the red pawns for her.

 

“I know.”

 

They play the game rather peacefully for awhile.  Gale and Madge are both boringly enough, sticklers for the rules, and every time they draw the  _ Sorry!  _ Card that could ruin any one of their opponents, they use it on each other mutually with no protest.  Before long Dakota is far in the lead and practically cackling with joy.

 

“I have three of them in my home!” she points out, gesturing at the tiny yellow pawns all bundled at their final destination.  “Mommy only has one and Daddy has zero!”

 

“You’re just really good at this game, princess,” Gale insists while he lets out an exaggerated sigh of frustration.

 

Even with a clear projected winner, they play until Kota gets the final piece into home base.  And then, as some strange form of torture she insists that they play until everyone’s won, perhaps she felt bad about the large disparity between their board game playing abilities.  So Madge and Gale burn through the cards until alas, the game is over.  It took almost two hours.

 

“I hope you enjoyed that, KoKo.”

 

“Another one!  Another one!” KoKo chants as she already is clumsily folding up the board, eager to pull out a new game.

 

The worst part is that Madge and Gale are close to giving in before Johanna opens the apartment door.  She has a bag of takeout food in one hand, a pretty cake in the other.

 

“Hi Dakota.  I brought you your birthday dinner.”

 

Madge is pleasantly surprised, having been wondering where her friend’s been this afternoon.  “Jo, we already have a cake.”

 

Her friend walks over to the counter to put down the food when she notices the gigantic box already sitting there.  “Oh.  That’s okay, now we have two.”

 

Kota squeals happily at the prospect of eating two cakes, running up to her friend and giving her a welcome hug.  Her attention has completely shifted from board games to food, and for that Madge is grateful.  “JoJo, where have you been?”

 

“I was at work all morning, and then I went to buy your food and your present.  Where else, KoKo?”

 

“Present?” she asks with wonder, as if the idea of receiving presents hadn't even crossed her mind until just now.  “What food did you bring Auntie?”

 

“Your favourite, grilled cheese from that diner down the street.  And French fries.”

 

“Did you order enough for four?” Gale asks while he puts away the board game nearly.

 

“Oh, hey Hawthorne.  Yeah, I figured you’d be here.  I bought you a burger.”

 

Everyone huddles by the kitchen counter as they eat.  Dakota is practically in her own world, joyously eating her sandwich with only Gale sometimes coming in to wipe her mouth for her.  Madge sits next to Johanna eating her wrap with her favourite, deep fried pickles.

 

“Thanks for doing this, Jo.  I honestly hadn't thought about dinner.”

 

“Of course.  And I'm really sorry the party didn't work out.  I know you were all looking forward to it.”

 

“It's fine.  KoKo seems to be having a lot of fun, and Gale’s been great.  I don't know what we’re going to do with all this cake though…”

 

Johanna laughs at the cake situation they've gotten themselves into.  She’ll probably end up bringing it to work or offering it to the neighbours.  Everyone is willing to celebrate a kid’s birthday, even if she isn’t present.  

 

“Listen, I have to go after this actually,” Jo explains.  “I wish I could stay, but I’ll give you three some family time.  Plus, I’ll take some cake with me.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Cressida’s,” Jo mumbles with a full mouth, probably so that Madge has to strain her ears to hear her.  Johanna and Cressida have been on and off for months, it's mostly a friends with benefits situation from what Madge has heard.

 

“Really?  You two are back on?”

 

“I don't know,” her friend answers defensively.  “What does ‘back on’ even mean?  She just invited me over to hang out, so I said yes.”

 

Madge doesn't have anything against Cressida, it's just that she’d much rather see her friend in a steady, long term relation over a fluctuating, non-committal type of deal.  Jo’s not-girlfriend is a film student at the art’s school downtown, just a couple years younger than her.  She’s sharp and she's pretty, and would probably be good for Jo if they would just decide to make things serious.

 

“Okay.  Have fun, then,” is the best she can offer, as Jo wipes her mouth and puts away her food.  She puts half of her small cake into a different container, intending on bringing it with her and slipping on her raincoat.  Kota looks distraught, because she’s pouting with furrowed brows all the way until Johanna walks up to her and holds her hands.  

 

“I have to go KoKo, but I left your present with your mom, alright?”

 

“Okay,” the little girl sighs.  “I wish you could stay.”

 

“Me too, baby,” Jo insists, stroking her pale hair and giving her head a kiss.  “Have an amazing birthday for me.”

 

Jo leaves, and the family finishes up dinner and then cleans up the kitchen which is littered with paper boxes and plastic utensils.  It’s nice.  She would never care to admit it to Gale, but this whole thing has been really nice.  Madge likes spending time with Dakota and her father, they make a good team and always have a laugh.

 

“Do you have room for cake right now?” she asks her daughter, who enthusiastically nods in response.  Even though she knows that Kota will be beyond stuffed in no time and will probably want to go straight to bed, she sets out three plates and begins to cut three pieces from Gale’s large, chocolate cake.

 

“Mommy?” Dakota calls softly, staring at the huge cake.  She's sitting on Gale’s lap, who’s still seated at the counter.

 

“Yes, baby?”

 

“There were supposed to be more people at my party, right?”

 

She’s too keen and observant for her own good.  Madge walks over and strokes her face, glancing at Gale for some clues as to how to put this.  “You're right.  We were going to take you to the park today, and your friends from school would be there.  But it's been raining all day, so we couldn't do that anymore.”

 

“We’re sorry princess, but we hope you're having a good time anyway,” Gale adds.

 

“It’s okay,” KoKo says, smiling genuinely at both her parents.  “I like this.  Just me, Mommy, Daddy and Auntie JoJo.  It's what I wanted, do you remember Mommy?  I told you I wanted to be with you, all of us together.”

 

She's so sweet it makes Madge’s heart hurt.  Madge beats herself up a little bit for taking it personally when Kota asked to go to Gale’s with her, when really all she meant was for them to be together.  Because parenting isn't about her, it's about her child, and sometimes her brain forgets that.

 

They eat the cake; Madge only takes a small slice because she’s still stuffed from dinner.  Gale has always had a big appetite, and Kota surprisingly eats one slice all by herself.  Halfway through, Madge takes out Dakota’s presents both from her and Johanna.

 

Kota rips into Johanna’s first.  

 

“It's an elephant!  Look, he's so cute and fluffy,” the five year old exclaims, clutching the over sized stuffed toy with her arm span and smiling endearingly.  

 

“Does he have a name?” Gale asks playfully.

 

She thinks for a second and then nods eagerly.  “Yup.  It's Tusky.”

 

“That's cute,” Madge remarks, giving her ex-boyfriend a knowing look.  Their daughter is a bundle of joy and excitement, and they wouldn't want to have it any other way.

 

Madge got her a scrapbook, a beautiful, handbound thing whose cover is coated in baby pictures and recent ones too.  The first few pages she’s filled out for her, photo documenting all the memories she's already had: with Gale and Madge, there's even a photo of Madge when she was pregnant thrown in there.  Some of them were found on their cluttered shelf, she thought to add them in.

 

“We can take all of our memories and put them in the book together,” she explains.  Kota flips through the filled pages with wonder, touching the faces in the photos and trying to spell out some of the words.  

 

“It's pretty, Mommy!” she gasps, lingering on the pregnant photo.  “Is that me?”

 

“Both of us, baby,” she laughs.  Kota gives her a tight hug, and Madge is surprised that she still has energy left inside of her.  She's just waiting for her kid to crash from her sugar high.

 

“Daddy?” she asks, looking at Gale in silence for a moment.  He has a stupid smile on his face like he’s hiding something.  And Kota knows too, that there’s probably a reason he came empty handed, and it's not because he forgot.  “Do you have a present for me?”

 

“I couldn't bring it all the way here,” he starts coyly.  “It was too big.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“It's waiting in your room.  It's a keyboard.”

 

Her eyes grow larger than ever and her smile widens even more, if that's possible.  “A keyboard?  Really?  Oh Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!  Now I can be just like Mommy!”

 

Even Madge is taken by surprise.  It's funny because she doesn't even own a keyboard, she hasn't touched one or a piano since college, save those couple times she's gone home.  “I didn't realize that was within our price range,” she mutters to Gale under her breath.  

 

“A friend was trying to get rid of it.  I got it for a good price,” he promises.

 

“Mommy!” Kota squeals excitedly.  “You have to come to Daddy’s and teach me how to play.  I want to play just like you, once grandma showed me videos of you playing and you were  _ amazing _ !”

 

“Okay baby,” she replies, because what else is she to do?  “Of course.”

 

Madge is aware that it's irrational to try and compare gifts, but she can't help but do it.  Gale's was thoughtful, and it's something that he really knew Dakota would enjoy.  And the fact that it was almost a present on her behalf, something that she - the piano player - should've given to their daughter, just compounds the whole situation into something unbearable.  The emotions take her by surprise.

 

“I'm tired,” KoKo says with a yawn to no one in particular.  She looks totally worn out, as Madge suspected would happen.

 

“Come, lets brush your teeth and I’ll read you a story,” Gale offers, picking up the little girl and taking her to the bathroom.

 

Madge is left outside in the living room, contemplating her emotional wreckage and listening to the sound of her shallow breathing.

 

And she knows it’s stupid, the gift barely means anything.  But maybe it’s just the last straw in what’s been days of a building anxiety about her competence as a mother.  It’s irrational, she knows it is.  

 

Madge can’t help the tears that fall from her eyes, and she leans against her kitchen counter for support, only to be met with cold, hard marble that’s nowhere near comforting.  She needs to count her breaths, control her tears and get it together.  Who wants a mom who’s an emotional wreck, anyway?

 

But before she can keep her breakdown under wraps, Gale walks out of her bedroom and back into the kitchen.  “She passed out after one page, she’s sound asleep like a…” he starts, but pausing when he sees her there.  Madge tries to wipe her wet cheeks with her sleeves, but it only causes more tears to fall.

 

“Hey, hey, Undersee.  Are you okay?” Gale asks soothingly, and Madge can only assume this is the way he comforts Dakota when she’s in a mood.  Madge is a child, and she’s acting so pathetic and unnecessary right now.  He takes a couple kleenex from her coffee table and brings them over to her, placing the wad into her hand.

 

“I’m fine,” she responds shakily, but Gale doesn’t buy it for a second.

 

“Clearly not, come on.  Don’t you want to talk about it?”

 

She laughs tritely.  “No, not really.  Not with you of all people.”

 

“What do you mean?  Did I do something wrong to upset you?”

 

“Nothing!  You did nothing, Gale, you’re-- you’re literally perfect.”  She’s snapped, she’s louder than she needs to be to keep Dakota asleep and Gale looks more confused than ever.  Madge tries to take deep breaths and steady herself, but her exhales come out shaky and weak.  She tries to keep cool but the aggravation inside of her is still building.  “Look, you can leave now, I’ll bring her back to your place in the morning, I promise.”

 

He shakes his head kindly, shrugging.  “No worries, I can crash on your couch, I told her we’d go get pancakes for breakfast.”

 

“You don’t have to be the better parent all the time, Gale,” Madge accuses, and that’s it.  It’s been said, every insecurity that’s been haunting her for the last four years.  He’s shaken, taken aback and he almost looks angry.

 

“What are talking about?”

 

“What do you mean, what am I talking about?  You’re the one who’s never late to pick her up and bought her a stupid keyboard.  You’re fun and you’re carefree and I’m just a bundle of stress trying to make it work.  You gave her a fucking room in your gigantic apartment and I can’t even provide a bed just for her, she’s better off with you, okay?  I get it, now please don’t rub it in my face.”

 

“So this is about the present?  You’re crazy,” is his only response, and Madge doesn’t expect anything more.  She’s surprised he hasn’t slapped her, because his eyes are dark and he’s standing so close to her that he might as well.

 

“I know that,” she laughs cynically.  “Jesus Christ, Gale, could you please just--”

 

Then he kisses her like he’s drowning, and she’s the only lifeline there is.  Madge knows she’s still crying, and when Gale’s hands come up to frame her face his calloused thumbs wipe away some tears.  His mouth is warm and insistent and everything she remembered, and she can feel the way she used to crave him resurfacing deep in her stomach, pulling her flush against his body.  She’s pressed against the countertop, straining to meet his height until Gale pulls her across the apartment and onto the couch.

 

Gale’s on top of her with all his weight, but Madge feels comforted by the feeling of another person so close to her.  She knows he’s doing this out of pity or some twisted sense of consolation but  _ oh God _ it’s working and her skin feels lit on fire by his touch.

 

Madge shouldn’t be doing this, she knows that.  When she manages to pull away from his kisses she surprises herself too, and Gale looks apologetic.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he whispers, foreheads still touching.  “That was stupid of me, wasn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, you shouldn't’ve done that,” she admits.  “That’s bad for my brain.”

 

She tries to turn her head and look away from his burning gaze, but Gale uses his hands to force her to look at him, and she’s lost in his silver eyes that she used to love so much.

 

“Listen to me, Madge.  You’re incredible, okay?  You’re one of the strongest women I know, and I can’t imagine else to be the mother of my child.”  The words are said, but Madge doesn’t buy it.  Everyone says things to her and they think it will make things better, but she just wants the truth.  If people could stop pitying her and be honest for once maybe she wouldn’t be feeling like shit.  

 

“Okay,” she says indifferently.

 

“No, I’m serious,” Gale insists, pulling her head closing to his so that their lips graze again.  They both feel a shock, and now he’s not looking into her eyes anymore, he’s looking at her mouth.  “I think you do a better job than I do most of the time.  But I know we’re different, it’s not scaled like that.  But if it was, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were in the lead because you’re loving and considerate.  You’re beautiful.”

 

“Beautiful?  You don’t have to go that far.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“We’re not together.  You don’t have to do that.”

 

“Do what?  Complement you?  We’re not together, sure, but we’re also not arch-enemies.”

 

“Can you please just stop talking?  Please?” she asks desperately, already confused by all the words he’s thrown at her.  Because now her brain is swarming with everything Jo had said to her about unresolved feelings and the conversation she overheard between him and Delly.  

 

Gale and Madge have things to work out, and even if they were to resolve whatever was going on here, that would only make things more complicated.  She can’t think straight when all she thinks about his him, she knows that from practical experience.

 

She’s breathing heavily, unsure how to put together her words.  “You can’t just kiss me because you don’t know what to say.  This isn’t college.”

 

Gale laughs humorlessly and runs a hand through his hair.  “Clearly, because if it was college you’d be kissing me back.”

 

She stands up from the couch and tries to clear her head.  “I’ll get you some sheets and a pillow for the couch.  I’ll be right back.”

 

Her ear catches him sighing heavily, and her movements are almost lethargic heading towards the closet of sheets.  She sneaks into Jo’s empty room and grabs a pillow, sitting down on her bed to just have some more time alone before heading outside.

 

It’s so overwhelming, this entire day has been so many emotions at once and Madge doesn’t know which one to associate with which event.  She’s unsure why Gale kissed her; wasn’t it because he pitied her or just wanted to shut her up?  Of course there’s the more unlikely option, but she doesn’t even want to go there, if she did she would go mad.

 

So she heads back to the living room and hands him the sheets and the pillow.  “Here.”

 

“Thanks, Undersee.”

 

“Sure, goodnight Gale.”

 

Madge starts to head for her room, walking slowly again careful not to wake Dakota.  Before she reaches the door though, Gale speaks up.

 

“Don’t you ever wonder?”

 

“Wonder what, Gale?”

 

“If we could’ve worked.  If we had stayed together, maybe we would’ve worked out.  We could’ve raised her together.”

 

She shrugs hopelessly.  “ _ You  _ broke up with  _ me _ .”

 

“That’s irrelevant.”

 

“No it’s not.”

 

“So you still love me?”

 

“What?  This isn’t Catch-22.  All I’m saying is that you don’t have a right to break up with me and then raise a child with me for five years and decide that you want to kiss me again!  I deserve better than that.  Even if I did still love you.”

 

For a minute she just stares at him as he thinks, looking out of her window into the darkness.  Gale doesn’t seem to have an answer for her, that much is clear, but she can’t help but hope for one.  That maybe now, he’ll apologize for everything and things can change for the better right at this moment.

 

But instead, he reaches for the lamp and turns out the light.  The living room is dark now, so she sulks away to her room and realizes that she’s been holding her breath.

 

Dakota is sleeping peacefully as he said, her angular face looks relaxed and there’s a little smile peeking through on her mouth.  Despite everything that just transpired, Madge is happy that her daughter got a day just for her, one where she got to spend time with both her parents and just laugh like any child should.

 

Madge wonders when her relationship with Gale became like this.  Maybe it was right from the start, they were always a secret or some kind of getaway for each other.  Or maybe it wasn’t until they ended things and she started to feel pregnancy symptoms.  Both of them wanted to keep her, but the scars and the memories from their recent split were too deep to even fathom getting back together.  Which is how this whole arrangement came about, this whole taking turns thing.

 

Usually she holds herself back from thinking.  But tonight, she’ll let her mind wander.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have time, please leave a comment telling me your thoughts! It only takes a second and always makes my day. :)


	10. Chapter 10 (Flashback Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Flashback Part 1: Freshman & Sophomore Years - Madge Undersee starts college and meets all different kinds of people, but it's the dark haired, grey eyed, boyish type that she's most drawn to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I decided to split the flashback up in half, notably because this half is almost eight thousand words, so I guess you guys get a little interlude in the middle of the story before we go back to present day! I hope you guys enjoy, I hope some blanks in the story right now are filled for you at least by the next update.

** Freshman Year **

 

At 18, Madge Undersee is full of dreams and ideals that she insists will come true.  High school weighed her down and only made her eager to break free into the world around her, and college is where her life will change for the better.  She’s studying music (and minoring in business, after all she’s not _that_ delusional) hoping to pursue her passion and find a way to make money off of it, no less.  It’s all mapped out - study in college while taking internships to build her network and eventually start her own business or find somewhere that will let her perform.

 

Of course, she has other dreams too.  Her eyes wander around campus, knowing that her future man is out there somewhere.  She has enough confidence, knows she has options, but the man of her dreams isn’t the type she’ll meet while sleeping around and “just having fun.”  He’s compassionate and he’s in the dusty corners of the library, or the back table of the coffee shop waiting to be found.

 

Johanna Mason is the first person to burst her bubble.

 

“All the boys here are _just that._ Boys.”  Madge wants to ask how she knows that’s true, and whether she’s serious or not.  She doesn’t know how she finds herself outside their residence building, leaning against the old brick and watching Johanna smoke a cigarette, but she’s intrigued and wants to know whether this nonchalance and wit is all for show or not.

 

“You’d expect them to make some massive change after high school, for them to become better people, but it doesn’t happen.  Maybe it’s something in the water here, accelerates their testosterone production or something and fogs up their brains,” the redhead jokes, and Madge laughs tritely.  Johanna keeps a straight face, but Madge knows it’s meant to be funny.  She’s convinced that half the reason Jo decides to hang out with her is because she laughs at all her jokes.

 

Her friend ashes her cigarette butt against the wall, extinguishing the ember, tossing it to the ground and pulling out her pack.  For the second time tonight she offers Madge a smoke, but the blonde politely declines.  She’s just looking for a friend, not for a vice, and besides, addiction runs in her family.

 

Johanna cups her hand, shielding the wind from her lighter and pulling away once it’s lit.  “You know, I consider myself a sexually fluid person.  I’ll sleep with whoever, fall for whoever.  But at _this school?_  I can’t.  I’m now gay by circumstance.”

 

Her humour is facetious, poorly timed and very sarcastic.  But Madge knows she wants to talk to her more.  She’s the kind of person Madge wants to say she met in college, she’s nothing like the pampered and polite kids she went to grade school with.  Automatically they become friends.  Madge is yet to figure out why Johanna spends time with an average girl like her, but she doesn’t question it.

 

Well the truth is, she doesn’t have time to, because Katniss Everdeen bursts her bubble again just a few days later in her Introduction to Business seminar.

 

It’s a subtle burst.  More like a nudge than a prick.  Madge is listening to the professor’s every word, taking vigorous notes and raising her hand when she has the chance.  The lecture hall has over 500 students, there’s no chance she’d get picked, but she recites every answer in her head when the professor picks someone else.  She reviewed the course material over the summer and remembers it all quite well.

 

“Alright, we’re starting easy folks,” the professor insists, standing at the podium and looking out into the crowds of students.  “Who can tell me the basic goals of a business?  What does a business strive to do in all aspects?  Brainstorm, think big.”

 

The middle aged man starts to randomly pick students from the lecture hall, regardless of whether their hands are up or not.

 

“You.  Any ideas?”

 

“Uh… maximizing profit?”

 

“Is that a question?”

 

“No sir.”

 

“I’m not a sir, I’m a professor!  Nevertheless, yes, maximizing their own profit.  Good, we understand that everyone wants money.  What else?  You, in the front.”

 

“Social benefit, professor.”

 

“Yes, reputation is everything these days, isn’t it?  Companies need to have social responsibility, or else damn them to hell.  You!”

 

“Pleasing shareholders.”

 

“Sure, I’ll take that.  What about you here, penny for your thoughts?”

 

Madge is still taking notes, barely looking up when she realizes the professor is pointing at her, gesturing for her to speak up.  She feels hundreds of eyes burning back at her, and she immediately panics.  Everything she had reviewed goes out the door.

 

“Um… well I guess… social contract?”

 

“Could you speak up a little bit, please?”

 

Madge coughs, clearing her throat.  “Businesses need to uphold a social contract with society.”

 

“And what’s your name, Miss?”

 

“Madge Undersee.”

 

“Well, Ms. Undersee.  Good to know you’ve been paying attention to your last few classmates, but that is practically the same thing as what we’ve mentioned!  I want something new.”

 

Her face burns up and she’s never felt more humiliated.  Of course she has to make herself look like an idiot in front of her professor and hundreds of classmates.  She knows the answer, she just couldn’t articulate it.  Silently she racks her brain for another business objective, swearing it’s in her mind somewhere when the professor moves onto someone new.

 

“Okay, you in the back!  Brooding, on her phone.  What do you think?”

 

Madge turns her head to look at the girl - pretty but dishevelled, and Madge silently shames her for not paying attention.

 

“Sorry, what was the question?” the dark haired girl asks, straightening up in her seat.

 

“A goal of a business, besides profit, social responsibility and pleasing shareholders,” the professor reiterates.  He doesn’t seem annoyed, but Madge doesn’t understand why.

 

The girl takes her time to think, and Madge just knows that she’s stuck too.  But just as she starts celebrating a little bit for not looking too stupid, the girl raises her voice.

 

“Innovation.”

 

“Ah, very interesting,” the professor nods, pleased with the word he’s milked out of her.  “Businesses are always looking to produce innovative product, something new to break through the markets, isn’t that right Miss…”

 

“Everdeen.  Katniss Everdeen.”

 

And just like that, all of Madge's expectations about breezing through her classes and coming out on top are shaken into reality.  She's a nervous wreck, and will have to try twice as hard to put herself out there no matter how much she studies. There are people like Katniss who only need to exist for people to love them, who are smart without putting in the effort.

 

Of course, the dark haired girl doesn't mean ill.  Katniss runs up to Madge after class and apologizes for perhaps making her look bad.  It's ridiculous, she did nothing wrong and has nothing to be sorry for.  But Madge accepts her approach as an invitation, and Made likes to think that she walked away making another new friend.

 

Katniss turns out to be nice - really nice, actually.  Neither of them are very outspoken or overt, but when they study together sitting in Madge’s dorm room, she feels a strong connection to the girl.  Katniss makes her comfortable and and she's incredibly driven.  She's on scholarship, trying to make a better life for herself and her family.

 

It's Katniss who drags Madge to her first college party.  It’s at a fraternity house, somewhere grimy and crowded but there’s something about the air and the music that make her feel more free, almost relieved to be here.

 

“I don’t see any other freshmen,” she shouts over the pounding bass, while Katniss walks through the house as if she’s searching for someone.  “How did you find out about this place?”

 

“My friend, he goes to school here too.  He’s in second year and he invited me out.”  Sounds like a date if Madge’s ever heard of one.

 

“Are you sure it’s okay I tagged along?  I don’t want to overstep or anything…”

 

“Madge, relax.  It’s just a house party, there’s no guest list.  Besides, Gale told me to bring a friend.”

 

She wants to say that she’s probably not what Gale’s buddies are expecting when they say “bring a friend.”  Madge would never touch anyone in a place like this, at least not if they were a stranger, and her brain is more focused on the midterms that are coming up than mingling with fraternity brothers tonight.

 

But just as she nods in agreement, knowing she has to loosen up a little bit a voice comes booming in from down the hall.

 

“Catnip!  Didn’t think you were going to show.”

 

Madge turns her head and sees where the voice is coming from, and he’s a gorgeous boy.  Tall and dark haired with the most captivating eyes she's ever stared into.  He leans in to give Katniss a hug and Madge has to remember that he invited Katniss here, probably likes her too.

 

“Hey, Gale.  This is Madge Undersee, she’s in my business class.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Undersee, I'm Gale Hawthorne,” he grins, taking her hand and kissing the back of it, making her blush red.  He’s definitely had a bit to drink, because he’s standing closer to her than he probably should.  He towers over her and Madge is nervous.

 

That’s the only interaction they share that night, but Madge notices him, and she’ll definitely remember him.  How could anyone forget his piercing grey eyes and angular, handsome face?  She sees the way he talks to Katniss and the way they are together: relaxed and comfortable around each other in a way that shows he’s definitely into her.  Madge won’t bring it up to her friend though, Katniss will come to her own realization in her own time.

 

It takes more time than expected for anything to happen between Katniss and Gale.  Madge sees him around campus with various different girls, whispering in their ears and holding their hands.  She doesn’t judge him, because if she was more brave and confident she’d probably do the same thing.  She’s desperate for love at this point, or what she pictures love would be like.  Her only qualm with Gale’s dates is that she knows he likes Katniss and doesn’t understand why he doesn’t do something about it.  Perhaps it’s more complicated than that, but it seems rather simple to her.

 

So, because she’s nosy and lives vicariously through everyone else’s romance, she takes matters into her own hands and confronts Katniss.

 

“Do you like Gale?”

 

“What?”

 

“Do you like Gale as more than a friend?”

 

Katniss looks up from her textbook and stares at Madge as if she’s speaking a different language.  They’re in her dorm room cramming Marketing, they have a huge exam coming up in a few days and both of them are set on giving it their all.

 

“No,” she answers quickly, but then pausing to really think about it.  “I don’t know, I don’t think I do.”

 

“What does that even mean?”

 

“Do _you_ think I like him?”

 

“You’re asking me if I think you feel romantically attracted to Gale Hawthorne?” Madge questions in disbelief.  But her friend just nods, knowing that she has an answer in mind anyway.  “Yes.  Well, I don’t know.  I can’t speak for your emotions.  But I think he likes you.”

 

“Really?”

 

Katniss had told her all about her relationship with Gale.  They’ve been friends since childhood and were always side by side.  She just like Madge though; she hasn’t dated that much or had too much experience with those emotions.  So if she’s oblivious, it makes sense.

 

“Hey, I’m not qualified in speaking for anybody, it’s just what I’ve observed.  You don’t have to do anything about it if you don’t want to.”

 

And Katniss clearly does want to, and so does Gale.  Madge doesn’t prod into it to much though, because she doesn’t want to meddle in anyone else’s business.  So she doesn’t bother asking for a couple of months, going to classes and biting her tongue whenever she wants to tell Katniss to wake up.

 

Except one day she’s sitting with Johanna in a coffee shop studying and chatting when her friend practically spews out her americano.

 

“Look, Madge.  Look what you’ve done.”

 

“What?” she asks confusedly, straining her head to get a better look.  It’s Katniss and Gale, awkwardly holding hands on the quad and walking together.

 

“Wow,” Jo sighs.  “That’s adorably uncomfortable.”

 

“What do you mean?  I think it’s cute.”

 

“Sure, if there’s something cute about an emasculated giraffe to you,” she rebukes, making Madge snort with laughter.  Gale just seems nervous, and that warms her heart because it also means he’s really into her friend.

 

And all of that awkwardness goes away soon, because they actually start dating and they seem to go back to their normal dynamic of joking around and coexisting comfortably.  Madge starts to see more of him in the hallways of her dorm, walking towards Katniss’s room with a stack of movies or dinner.

 

Katniss and Gale become steady, soon months go by and it’s the end of the second semester already.  And Madge isn’t concentrated on dating or romance right now, at least that’s what she tells herself.  College is a lot of handle, and plenty of people take their first year to put themselves together before they start searching for someone special.  She knows that she shouldn’t be so attached to that idyllic idea of romance, but she holds onto it no matter what Jo says.

 

One night she left the music building particularly late, she was practicing and composing a new piece for her final assignment when she sees Gale sat outside Katniss’s room on the floor with a bag of food next to him.  She’s cautious to approach him, he looks tired and upset.

 

“Hey, Gale,” she greets softly, trying not to startle him.  He still flinches though, taking a beat before looking up at her and smiling back.

 

“Hey Undersee.”

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“Oh, Catnip and I do dinner on Wednesday’s, but she isn’t in her dorm I think.  So I’m just waiting for her to get back.”

 

“Katniss went home to visit her mom and her sister, I think,” Madge recalls, staring sympathetically into his eyes.  They’re grey and so clear, and she knows it’s wrong to think that her best friend’s boyfriend is handsome but no person attracted to men would disagree with the fact.

 

“Fuck, are you serious?”

 

“Mhm,” is all she can give him.  She tentatively sits across from him on the floor, trying to give him company.  Katniss is a forgetful person sometimes, but it sucks that she didn’t remind him that she was going away for the end of the week.  No one deserves that, but Madge knows she didn’t mean ill.

 

She observes Gale as he rakes a hand through his tousled hair.  Finally he looks straight across the hallway back at her, giving a silent thank you and acknowledging her care.  “Well, are you hungry?”

 

“A little bit, I mean, why?”

 

“Because I have falafel for two people, it’s still warm.  We can eat it out here, I just don’t want to waste it.”

 

Madge thinks about it for a little bit, ignoring the growling in her stomach.  “I don’t know, isn’t that kind of weird?  Like, I’m eating the food you bought for your date or something?”

 

“I don’t fucking know.  You don’t have to.  Just, when I grew up we didn’t have the money to think about those things.  When we had food, we ate it, otherwise it was a waste.”

 

He’s not insinuating anything about her, just telling her about his life.  And that’s the first time she really learns something about Gale Hawthorne the person, not Gale Hawthorne the boyfriend of Katniss.  Madge admires him for what he said, so she urges him to pass her a falafel bowl; they eat while chatting absentmindedly in the hallway.

 

“Are you doing anything this summer?” he asks conversationally.

 

“Yeah, I’m travelling with my parents, I think.”

 

Gale raises his eyebrow, it’s adorable.  “You think?”

 

“My parents sort of control my life, so I don’t know if they’ve made plans or not,” Madge admits while shrugging.  “What about you?”

 

“I’m working back at home.”

 

“Oh?  What kind of work?”

 

“I been doing mechanic work as a summer job since high school, so that’s what I’ll be up to.”

 

“I take it Katniss will be back at your hometown too.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the plan,” Gale nods.  Madge doesn’t bother to ask about how their relationship is doing, this is the first time she’s really ever talked to the boy anyways, that would just be intrusive.  But she knows that he’s sweet and he’s caring.  She’s glad that she met him in her freshman year.

 

The whole interaction was painfully platonic.  But still, she wouldn’t tell Katniss about it unless she asked.

 

* * *

 

 

** Sophomore Year **

 

He’s the first person she bumps into when she’s moving into residence in the fall.  But while she’s moving boxes in, he’s moving boxes out of the building and they practically collide with each other.

 

“Woah, Undersee!  Slow down,” he chuckles, putting down his box and nodding up at her.  He got tan over the summer, and clearly all that manual labour paid off in some sort of way, not that she’d ever tell him that.

 

“Sorry,” she apologizes embarrassedly.  “Hi, how was your summer?”

 

“Good, it’s better to be back though,” he admits.  “Are you moving in next to…”

 

“...Katniss, yeah.  I think we’re beside each other.  Funny that I’m the one moving closer to her, right?”

 

Even if it isn’t, he laughs anyways.  “Yeah, yeah.”  From what she’s heard from Katniss, their relationship is doing just fine, the summer alone back at home probably helped.

 

“Are you moving out?”

 

“I’m renting an apartment with a friend of mine, also in third year.  I just have some appliances and stuff that I left behind, so I’m bringing them over now.”

 

“What’s wrong with the dorms?”

 

“I like my privacy,” he shrugs boyishly, then checking his buzzing phone.  “Katniss is getting here soon.  I’m going to go put this box in my car and help her unpack.”

 

“Okay,” she nods.  “I’ll see you around, though?”

 

“Definitely, see you later, Undersee,” he fares, and Madge’s stare barely lingers as he walks down the hallway.

 

And the year starts to normalize itself as the week roll along.  She hangs out with Jo and Katniss, buries herself in her studies and rarely goes to parties.  She just doesn’t enjoy them - parties are all booming music and unnecessary socialization that she’d never want to commit herself to.  Madge knows who her friends are and will stay by them instead, even if Johanna does enjoy the occasional night out.

 

Gale goes out a lot too, but he doesn’t like it all that much either.

 

“I don’t know, I feel kind of obliged too.  It’s like the college experience, or whatever,” he explains as she stands in the hall with him, waiting for Katniss to come back from class.

 

“Okay, sure.  Studying is also part of the college experience.”

 

Gale chuckles and looks at her like she’s a child who just said something naive, and she doesn’t like it.  “Keep telling yourself that, Undersee.”

 

“Hi!” they hear from down the hall, and when they look over it’s Katniss jogging over to greet them.  When she approaches, she pecks Gale on the cheek and smiles, turning to Madge.  “Hey Madge.”

 

“Hey.  I was just going into my room and I um, I saw Gale standing here and thought he could use some company,” she blabbers, not really sure why she’s making excuses for something she didn’t even do.

 

“Okay,” her friend nods, waving goodbye to her.  Madge quickly retreats into her dorm, shaking the uneasy feeling from her bones and opening up her textbooks.

 

Classes are no different than last year.  If anything they're more interesting because more of her courses are chosen.  Her music program is flexible, so she's taking classes in jazz, classical and contemporary piano playing throughout the year.  It means some late nights practicing in the private music rooms, but Madge loves it nonetheless and goes willingly, no matter what her parents think of her major.

One weekend her best friend from home comes to visit, and she loves showing Delly all around the campus and introducing her to all her friends.

"It's so awesome here," Delly exclaims as they walk through the quad.  "If I went here I'd walk downtown everyday, go to a park to study, or a coffee shop..."

"It's not too late to apply for next semester," Madge reminds her, really just wishing she could see her best friend more often.

  
But Delly just shrugs, continuing to walk without making eye contact.  "You know I can't."

  
"I know," she sighs, observing her friend's face carefully.  "How's Eli?"

  
"He's good," she smiles with a hint of her regular positivity.  "He just finished his second round of chemo.  He's so strong."

  
Delly's 10 brother, Elijah, was diagnosed with leukaemia when the girls were in their final year of high school.   With her mom between jobs and everything uncertain, suddenly all of Delly and Madge's joint plans of going to college together and being dorm mates and everything were forgotten.  Delly was going to stay at home to take care of him, work a little bit and keep her home in check.  And Madge went off by herself to school, perpetually missing her other half and wishing she was here with her.

  
"You're strong too, Dell," Madge reminds.  "So strong."

"Thanks," she shrugs.  Madge knows that Delly doesn't see it all the time, but she's such an incredible person who deserves everything she works for.  Even though Madge's not around all the time to tell her that, she hopes that one day she finds someone who can.

"Have I showed you the library yet?" she asks, changing the subject and pointing to the gigantic building.

  
Delly shakes her head, so they go in.  On the first floor Katniss and Gale are studying together, and they automatically wave when they see their friend approaching.

  
"Hey guys, this is Delly.  My best friend from home."

  
Katniss is a bit withdrawn, smiling politely and saying hi, but Gale stands to join them and greets her proper.

  
"Hi, I'm Gale Hawthorne, nice to meet you."

  
"Delly Cartwright," she answers back, amused by his insistence to use full names.  "Sorry to interrupt your studying."

  
"Don't worry about it, if you're friends with Undersee we're bound to like you too," he jokes, and Madge is almost surprised by how positively he sees her.  Maybe he's just a nice person, he definitely is.

  
When they leave the couple alone and tour the rest of the study spaces, Delly keeps looking back at them sitting at their little table near the front.

  
"Why do you keep looking at them?"

  
She shrugs.  "They seem really nice, I like Gale.  Are they friends?  Cousins, or..."

  
"Dell!" Madge accuses, laughing lightly.  "Try boyfriend and girlfriend."

  
Her friend's eyes bulge in surprise.  "Really?"

  
"Why, because they look similar?"

  
"No, not even that.  I don't know.  I just didn't get coupley vibes from them," she replies vaguely.  Madge doesn't really get it, but maybe it's just because she's so used to the way Gale and Katniss act together.  "I have no idea, though.  It's probably just my premonitions," Delly adds.  "I'm sure they're great together."

  
After a month or two though, Madge isn't so sure either, though.  It's not like Gale and Katniss are fighting every waking hour of the day, but she just doesn't really see them having fun together like they used to anymore.  Other people notice too, Johanna snickers about it one night in her dorm room.  Madge came over to her friend's dorm and they're sipping on boxed wine in plastic cups and giggling their drunk asses off.

  
"They just slug around together.  Have you even seen them look at each other in - I don't know - the past two weeks?"

  
Madge tries to recall but honestly can't, and it sets off another fit of guilty laughter.  "I'm sure that they make eye contact, Jo."

  
Her friend stands by her point.  "I'm not.  Plus, whenever Everdeen's with him she just looks super bored.  Like, dating him is a chore that her mother put her up to or something."

  
Jo is harsh, but she's right.  It doesn't look like they're having fun anymore or connecting, and Madge sympathizes for the both of them.  

  
Sometime in December she's writing her midterm papers with Katniss in her dorm when Gale knocks on the door.  He greets them shyly, waving curtly at Madge and nodding at Katniss.  He looks cute; he's wearing a button down shirt and did his hair.

 

"Hey, are you ready?"

"Ready for what?" Katniss asks, confused and caught off guard.

"To go out.  It's Wednesday, I thought we could do something more special than just take out so I got us a reservation at the new sushi place.  And there's a party at a student house, we could go afterwards."

  
His girlfriend sighs, running fingers through her hair and gesturing at her laptop.  "I told you that I wanted to finish this assignment tonight, didn't I?"

  
"I don't remember you saying that."

  
"I did, and I honestly mean it, Gale.  I'm so sorry, I just don't think I can afford the time to go out tonight.  You can stay here if you'd like, but I also don't think I'll be a lot of fun right now.  I'm stressed out as hell."

  
Gale stares blankly for a little bit in disbelief, and then nods in understanding.  "Don't worry.  I'll leave."

  
"Bye.  Love you," she replies, waving him out.

  
"Love you too.  Good luck with your assignment," he mumbles, leaving and closing the door gently.

  
Madge witnesses the whole awkward interaction passively, confused and a little shocked that it all just happened before her eyes.  It's clear that they're having issues, Gale deserved more than just an excuse to satisfy the fact that he probably misses his girlfriend.  And Katniss clearly has things going on that she hasn't communicated to him, and it's probably eating her up.

  
"That was kind of harsh," she whispers after a couple of minutes of silence, and Katniss barely looks up at her friend before rolling her eyes.

  
"It's fine.  He hates going out anyways.  I don't know why he insists on doing it every single week."

  
Katniss thinks she's doing this for him in a skewed kind of way, and Madge can't really wrap her head around it.  Her best guess is that Katniss has a lot of other things left unsaid, and it just isn't translating well when it comes to complicated things like romance.  Lately, they're friendship has been more of an acquaintance.  They study together and hang out together, but they don't open up to each other the way that Madge can with Jo or with Delly.

  
That's why it comes as a surprise to her when she comes back from the winter holidays to hear the news - Katniss broke up with Gale after Christmas.  According to Jo it was harsh, and he didn't see it coming.

  
The rumours are all confirmed when Madge doesn't see him hanging around the halls of their dorm anymore and she never sees them together anymore.  It's sad because they were friends before they were anything else, and now they don't seem to be anything at all.  Losing that kind of friendship is hard, Madge hopes that they get past the awkward tension and can go back to even a fraction of the friendship they had before.

 

But for selfish reasons, she’ll also miss their little conversations in the hallways and their second-hand relationship.  Gale is nice to her and he’s so understanding too.  Madge knows that sometimes he can be guarded or have strong opinions about people, but she's happy that he finds her at least bearable.

 

Madge bumps into him one day, literally, leaving the athletic complex.  She just finished a run on the treadmill, it was one of her New Year’s resolutions to keep in shape after all.  But Gale has his earbuds in and doesn’t see her when he’s walking with his head down.

 

“Woah!” she exclaims when she barely dodges his line of attack, and Gale snaps out of his trance.  “Watch where you’re going a little bit, Hawthorne.”

 

Gale carefully wraps up the cord of his earbuds and chuckles embarrassedly at his mindlessness.  “Sorry, Undersee.”

 

“Were you listening to your ‘pump-up’ music?” she laughs, jibing him jokingly.

 

“No I just- I um…”  For once, Gale is flustered.  It’s a strange sight, but it warms her heart for some odd reason.  “I’m sorry, really I am.  Wasn’t watching where I was going.”

 

“Don’t worry about it, I was just kidding around,” she promises, accepting all of his profuse apologies with no hesitation.  Madge pauses and wonders how long it’s been since they’ve talked, it was well before the break, before the split… “How have you been doing?”

 

He shrugs and grimaces sardonically.  “Why?  Are you reporting back to Katniss?”

 

Madge lets out a noise of humour in disbelief that he would even think that.  “No, I was just concerned about your wellbeing.  As a friend.”  It’s sad that he would think that, that she would prioritize petty drama over a good talk.  “But sure, I guess I’m asking about her too.”

 

“Well, did she tell you anything about it?”  Madge shakes her head, so he continues.  “It was over the phone, she had come back to school early and I was still at home.  Said that she just couldn’t date me like that anymore, said that the relationship was killing her, something like that.”

 

Katniss was never perfect at articulating her thoughts into words, but even that seems particularly harsh.  Madge grimaces at the thought of getting a call like that.  She doesn’t know why Gale is telling her this, she suspects that he doesn’t have many other friends he can open up to about these kinds of things and he’s kept it all in.  

 

“Geez.  That really fucking sucks.  I’m sorry, Gale.”

 

“But how am I doing?  I'm okay.  Going to the gym more, overthinking things less,” he offers vaguely.

 

Despite the fact that he told her how Katniss broke up with him, he’s still rather guarded.  She reads it in his face that he’s hurting, or confused or frustrated, but she doesn’t bother to pry if he doesn't want to talk about it.  Especially if he doesn't trust her.

 

So she does the only sensible thing she can think of - she avoids him.

 

Not actively, just enough to remember that he doesn't really want her around.  Madge feels pathetic, because Gale probably hasn't even thought twice about the fact that they've been bumping into each other less, while she's obsessing over every little thing.  She's still not sure why she thinks about him so much; for someone who plays such a small role in her real life, he sure does occupy a good part of her brain.

 

Until a couple weeks later when she’s walking through the campus in the late afternoon from the music hall to the dorms.

 

“Undersee!  Hey, Madge!” she hears from behind her, and because she knows that voice and never hears him call her by her first name, she has to turn around.

 

“Hey,” she replies, smiling politely at Gale.  He’s with some of his friends, other third year’s that she’s seen around at his parties.  When Madge looks at his face, he’s staring at her eagerly like he’s been waiting to see her all week, and it brings heat to her chest that spreads up to her cheeks.

 

“It’s been a while,” he states plainly, and they both know it’s true.

 

“Yeah,” she agrees, deciding to be honest.  “I just don’t know where we stand right now, you know?  Ever since Katniss…”

 

“Broke up with me?” he laughs, but he doesn’t sound bitter.  She assumes that by the end of the relationship Gale didn’t think their romance was worth holding onto either, he’s probably just bitter at the way she did it.  He takes those things seriously, not being an asshole and all that.  So she nods in response, and he shrugs back.  “Who cares.  I thought we were above all that stuff,” he says, and it almost makes her breath catch but she keeps her composure.  It's such a juxtaposition from the hurt and defensive guy who ran into her at the gym.

 

“Above what?” she asks for clarification, but all he does is shrug as it he doesn’t know what he means either.

 

“I miss you.”  Madge just about screams right then and there, but she holds it in as Gale keeps talking.  “Let’s hang out, do you have time right now?”

 

“Yes,” she answers quickly, and then she looks over at his friends chatting casually in the back.  “What are you doing?”

 

Gale’s face changes into something mischievous and then he chuckles.  “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.  Really, we could split up from them and go to hang somewhere else…”

 

“No, tell me,” she laughs, more curious than before.

 

“Undersee,” he starts.  “Have you ever smoked a joint before?”

 

* * *

  

Her whole head is swimming yet perfectly clear at the same time.  Like, she’s hyper aware of everything she concentrates on but completely oblivious to everything else.  Madge had tried to smoke before, but she had mostly just ended up sitting there feeling no effects while her friends got all loopy; apparently, she hadn’t been doing it right.

 

But right now she’s gone.  She’s sitting across from Gale in someone else’s dorm room and there are a couple of people with them, but she pays them no attention.  Her eyes are locked on Gale’s and when she looks into his grey, grey eyes for long enough she just wants to dive into them.

 

“Woah,” she laughs, giggling at the loss of control.

 

Gale chuckles.  “Yup.  Woah is right.”

 

“Thank you for inviting me to… this,” Madge says awkwardly, feeling grateful but having a hard time grasping the words to express it.

 

“Sure, of course.  I’m happy you’re here.  ‘Cause you’re cool, Undersee.  I miss seeing you around the dorms and stuff like that,” Gale admits.  She knows people react differently to being high, but she doesn’t know how Gale is so composed and _chill_ when her own brain is hyperactive and her train of thought is so jumpy.  He seems just like himself, but maybe a bit more relaxed, a little more honest.

 

His words cause her to blush profusely, but she hopes he doesn’t notice.  “You’re cool too.”

 

“Hawthorne!” his friend calls at the door.  “We’re going to get some food down the street.  Do you two want any snacks?”

 

Gale nods at Madge and asks.  “I’m good.  But do you want anything?”

 

Suddenly her stomach feels like an endless pit and she’s craving anything.  She thinks for a little bit and then nods.  “Salt & Vinegar chips.”

 

“Okay, got it.  You two be good,” the guy snickers as he leaves the room with a couple others.

 

It’s just the two of them now, and even when the insinuation of the two of them doing anything physical in here has her blushing evermore, it’s definitely not like that.  Gale is her friend, someone that just broke up with her best friend and he’s off limits, even if her drugged brain likes to ogle him more than it should.

 

“How are you doing?” he asks when his friends are long gone, just checking in with her.  “Feeling okay?”

 

“I feel awesome,” Madge nods.  She likes the idea of Gale taking care of her, even if it's something like this.  “Are _you_ feeling okay?”

 

“I'm a lot better than I think I should be,” he replies, and suddenly they're not talking about the effects marijuana anymore.  “I think… I think I was upset because it happened, but I'm realizing now that this is good for me.”

 

“You're talking about Katniss and-”

 

“Of course,” Gale chuckles.  “What else would I be talking about, Madge?”

 

“I don't know,” she admits coyly.  “So… you feel good now.”

 

“Yeah, I do.  And maybe I’m just fried, but I just feel like I can be a new person now, you know?  It's so fucking nice to just relax.”

 

“Did Katniss not let you-”

 

“Oh no, she was fine about it.  She just didn't like it much herself, so I figured that I could just stop because I didn't need it.  I mean, it’s pot, it isn't like I ever smoked everyday or was addicted or anything.  I don't even think that’s possible,” Gale rambles, and Madge doesn't even call him out for cutting her off when she's so curious to listen to his brain.  “This is the second time since Christmas, I think.  I'm not a stoner.”

 

“I wouldn't think any less of you if you were,” Madge reassures, and Gale smiles back in response.

 

“You're sweet as hell, Undersee.  You're really nice,” he muses, it seems like a thought more than an actual compliment, but she eats it right up nonetheless.

 

They fall into a routine after that day.  The routine mostly just consists of Madge acknowledging him again, they say hi and exchange small conversations when they pass each other on campus.  If anything, half the routine is an internal allowance for her to think about him all the time.  She used to put those thoughts away and never dwell on them, but now she lets her mind wander and she lets herself stare at his face for longer than she would've.

 

They hang out alone a couple times too, mostly with other people and always off campus.  Even if she could pass the whole relationship off as platonic, Madge doesn't know how she would explain herself if Katniss saw them hanging out together.  She's still trying to figure out the right words to say, and who knows, if nothing happens between her and Gale than she won't have to say anything.

 

But then towards the end of the year, he asks her to go out with him.  Gale drops the idea casually, bringing it up the day before and passing it off as nothing.  But the idea makes her heart race, so she easily obliges.

 

"Wow, he really is trying, isn't he?" Jo comments when Madge tells her the news.

 

"Trying what?"

 

"To win you over," she shrugs casually.  "You should go.  I have the perfect dress for you, I'll doll you up and everything."

 

The dress is an emerald green shimmery slip, it's barely any fabric but it's not too tight at all, falling loosely to her upper thighs.  It's just outside of her comfort zone, Madge feels a bit sexy in it and loves the way Gale looks at her when she's in it.

 

"You look good," he puts simply as they walk down the city streets.  He keeps glancing at her legs, and Madge blushes.

 

"Thanks.  Where are we going, exactly?"

 

"Do you know Fiction? The..."

 

"...night club?  Yeah, I know it.  I've never been."

 

"Shit, you aren't 21 are you?" he recognizes anxiously while running a hand through his hair.  "I didn't think that through."

 

"It's okay.  I have a fake," she remembers, opening her purse to make sure she brought it.

 

Gale raises a brow.  "You do?"

 

"Yeah, Jo had it made for me.  It was my birthday present last year or something," she explains, and both of them laugh.  "I haven't really used it, I guess it comes in handy now."

 

"Thank God for Johanna Mason."

 

Madge chuckles and couldn't agree more.  "You can say that again."

 

"I feel bad though, you know?  Pulling you to smoke with my friends.  Taking you out to a club.  I don't want you to get the wrong idea about me."

 

"It's fine," she insists, honestly that thought hadn't even crossed her mind once.  "What else is there to do in college, right?"

 

"I just didn't know if you'd be into it," Gale admits.  "I'm surprised that you are."

 

"I'm just into you," Madge scoffs, with a bit more bravery.  Gale spins his head around and stares, surprised by her announcement.  "You aren't ruining me, and I definitely could've been into it anyway.  Don't worry Gale, you didn't make me."

 

Gale stares at her with a glint of something else in his eyes, speechless.  She's scared she said something wrong for a second, waiting for a clear reaction or something to tell her how to act.  And then he looks forward, smirking and signalling to turn on the sidewalk.  After a few more moments, he speaks.

 

"Of course I didn't make you.  How could I have?"

 

So that's their agreement, and Madge smiles proudly all the way to the club.  The whole night they dance and laugh, they order a couple drinks and talk to other club goers.  There aren't any other students from the college, or even if there were it's too dark for them to be recognized anyway.  So for a few hours Madge just relishes in the feeling of the two of them alone, only surrounded by energy and that ambient buzz you can't get out of your ears.

 

Afterwards they take a cab back to her dorm, Gale says that he can walk the few minutes back to his place.  But the summer air is still warm so she insists that they stay outside for a while longer, Madge really just doesn't want to part ways after one of the best nights of her life.

 

When they're sitting on a bench outside the residence, they're both still buzzed and laughing at every other word.  

  
"I can't believe this stupid thing worked," she laughs, waving around the fake I.D..  "The bouncer barely checked."

  
"Hey, don't be mean to it.  It did you well," Gale chuckles.

  
"Whatever.  I won't need it next year anyway."

  
"You're right."   Now he's looking at her deeply and thoughtfully.  "Thanks for coming out with me tonight, Undersee."

  
"Of course, I had a lot of fun," she nods, smiling and brushing back a piece of hair.  

  
"I had a lot of fun too."

  
Gale seems like he still wants to say something or do something because his mouth is just slightly parted.  Madge doesn't tend to read signs often, but she takes a leap of faith and presses her mouth against his.

  
Instinctually his arms move to hug her waist, and Madge's move to around his neck, touching his soft hair and running her fingernails over his scalp.  They kiss slowly and purposefully, it's late enough for no one to walk by them anyway but they can't help but jump apart when there's a rustling from the bushes behind them.

  
Gale brings a hand up and cradles her face and slowly grazes her lips with his thumb.  Her heart is racing so quickly it might just jump out of her chest so she tries to stay still while he stares at her mouth.

  
"I want you so fucking much," he whispers, but the words barely slip out before Madge silences him with another soft kiss.

  
"Me too," she admits against his lips.  

  
They want to do more and go into her dorm, but Madge knows they shouldn't.  Not now, not when the night's already been so magical.  Not when Katniss is asleep next door, and as much as Madge wouldn't like to admit, there are still open wounds that are not dealt with on that front.  So they part with a couple more kisses that only imply anything more, wandering hands and suggestive whispers that make her shiver.

 

She's about to get up and walk right back into her residence before Gale pulls her down again.

 

“Listen, Undersee - Madge,” he corrects, laughing at himself a little bit for sticking to old habits.  “I know this is happening really fast, I just want you to know that I'm on board, and if you think I'm moving on you too quickly it's because I like you, a lot.  No jokes.”

 

“Okay,” she nods, finding comfort in his words of reassurance.  “It's fast but it's good.  It doesn't feel rushed.”

 

“I feel the same way,” Gale exclaims, seeming glad that they're on the same page.  His face softens from excited to adoring, tugging her hands so that she veers closer to his body.  “I'll see you around this summer, right?”

 

“Yeah, we’re both doing summer school,” Madge reminds him.  “Should be _loads_ of fun.”

 

“We can make it fun,” he suggests, and she supposes that she should laugh if only he’d stop staring at her lips in _that_ way.  The kind of way that makes her want to climb on top of him and let him do all the dirty things he whispered in her ear.

 

Instead, she presses a last kiss against his lips, a softer one that is less of an act of passion and more of an act of promise.

 

“Goodnight, Gale,” she whispers.

 

He nods and smiles.  “I'll see you around.”

 

Madge glances back at him when she walks through the doors into the building.  Gale sits on the bench for a little while longer by himself, smiling boyishly and contently before sauntering away.  

 

He's so good.  So good and so caring and so gorgeous and Madge just can't wait for the summer to roll along because her heart hasn't stopped fluttering since he met up with her this afternoon, and she wants to feel that way forever.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next week is much more fluff, much more angst. I hope you guys like it. :) If you liked this one please leave me a comment telling me what you think! They honestly get me through the day and get me writing faster and better, so please take the time if you have it.


	11. Chapter 11 (Flashback Part 2)

**Junior Year**

 

Madge starts her third year of school in some sort of love induced stupor.  She thinks about the love that she once dreamt about and the relationship she has now, and really can’t tell the difference between the two.

 

Her summer consisted of summer school and a bit of travelling.  Last year she had taken some extra electives and needed to catch up on two mandatory courses that she put aside, hence the extra classes.  But Gale was in the same position, and for that month they were engulfed in each other with no one else to bother them.

 

In every sense of the phrase, they courted each other.  Neither of their friends were still at school, so they spent every waking hour together, getting to know each other.  Madge would wait outside his classes so that afterwards they could go for a walk together, and he’d do the same for her.

 

She rarely even slept in her dorm those four weeks.  She mostly stayed in Gale’s empty condo, sleeping on his bed tucked into his body.

 

One night they decide to dress up all fancy and treat themselves to a lavish dinner.  Gale picked a fancy place in the city that they had to take a cab to get to, and Madge can’t get the image of him dressed in a suit out of her head.  The whole night they jibe, joking back and forth and pretending to be much more responsible and grown up than they really need to be.

 

And when they get back to his place, there’s energy running through her veins, the type that makes her ears ring.

 

“It was kind of windy out, are you cold?” she asks casually when they close the front door.

 

Gale just shrugs and laughs.  “Was is really?  I couldn’t tell you, I feel really flush.”

 

Madge raises a brow.  “Too much wine?”

 

“ I don’t even like wine,” he confesses with a nod, and she drops her jaw in mocking disbelief.

 

“You could’ve told me that before I spent 80 dollars on a bottle of merlot at the restaurant.”

 

He shrugs and sheds her jacket for her, dropping it on the floor.  They’re standing so close together that Madge can smell hints of his worn-out cologne on his chest.  She can’t believe that this is her reality, she feels so fucking lucky.  “I’m sorry,” he chuckles.  “You offered to pay, remember that.  Plus, you picked the wine anyway, and I felt like drinking it was the adult thing to do.”

 

“I love wine,” she replies, not sure how else to justify her splurge on that bottle at dinner.  She drinks cheap wine with Jo whenever they find time for each other, and she drinks expensive wine when her parents send her too much money for summer expenses.

 

“Love, eh?  That’s a strong word.”

 

“I mean it.  And it’s only a strong word if you make it into one,” Madge ponders.  “I could say that I love many things and it wouldn’t matter one bit, but I don’t understand why it suddenly becomes such a big deal when you say, ‘I love you.’”

 

“So, I could tell you that I love that dress on you, or that I love your hair, and it wouldn’t have to be serious.”

 

“Do you mean it?”

 

“Yes.”  It makes her heart skip a beat, but she still plays along and pretends it means nothing.

 

“Exactly,” she hums.“This doesn’t have to be serious, you know, in that mundane sort of way.  Unless you want it to be, I guess.  I think it’s more fun this way.”

 

Madge isn’t sure why she tells him these things; maybe it’s because her life thus far has been mundane and predictable and Gale makes her feel like it could be otherwise.  He’s challenging and he’s fast paced, she doesn’t know how she catched up to him half the time.

 

“I love your face when you’re thinking about something,” he chuckles earnestly, and they’re both aware of the distance that’s been closed between them.

 

“I love that you noticed that.”

 

“Tell me more.”

 

“I love you in a suit,” Madge gulps.  “It makes me want to rip your clothes off.”

 

“Then do it,” he challenges, and suddenly they’re pressed tight and she’s necking him gently, enough to make him groan and gasp every couple of moments.

 

They’ve been fooling around almost everyday, getting closer and closer to really sleeping together.  Madge supposes that it’s bound to happen, and there’s no use in delaying it any longer.  She pulls hard on his tie with expert hands to unravel it and bites the skin behind his ear, and then she wishes she could listen to the sound of Gale’s guttural moans forever.

 

“Fuck,” he curses, and then everything blurs into pleasure and passion for them while she wishes she could savour the minutes.

 

Gale hikes up her dress and grabs her cheeks, kneading them and pulling her body even closer.  They’re practically flush if only she could make quicker work of his dress shirt.  When she finally gets the last two buttons and throws it off of his torso, it isn’t long before the rest of their clothes join it on the floor in a pile.

 

She always thought that she’d find a way to make it to the bedroom but she just can’t help herself.  When Gale lowers her onto the adjacent couch in only his boxers she tugs them down and reaches for his length.  It makes him hiss.

 

“Oh fuck,” he manages to spit out through gritting teeth, and then he laughs under his breath.  “I keep thinking that my roommate is going to walk through the door now.  Thank god he’s not.”

 

Madge has to agree, she doesn’t know how they will function when they don’t get the privacy that they get right now.  She doesn’t dwell on it through, not when Gale is teasing her through her panties, rubbing her apex with his fingers and pressing lightly on her clitoris.

 

The foreplay doesn’t last long.  Neither does she when he pushes into her deliberately, lips never leaving hers and cupping her breasts.  They fuck slowly and loudly, and when Madge comes apart she screams his name and muffles herself against the plain of his chest.

 

Gale follows soon after, letting out a low growl while his whole body tenses up.  When he’s finished he chuckles as if he can’t believe that was real and peppers kisses up her neck.

 

“You’re incredible,” he whispers against her mouth as her brain starts to absorb the rest of the world back, zooming out from just skin on skin and noticing their place in his apartment.

 

“Can we go to your bed?” she asks, feeling a little cold.  Or maybe the goosebumps are from something else.

 

“Yeah,” he replies sheepishly, maybe embarrassed that they only made it a couple of meters from the door too. 

 

It’s ridiculous how quickly he can go from all passion to his regular boyishness.  But it’s what make her need him, he fills up every corner of her life and refuses to leave.  And after this, Madge doesn’t think she could let him.

 

* * *

 

“Look at those kids,” Gale points out while they’re sitting on a bench in the park just off campus.  At noon the local daycare always brings their children around here to play, Madge noticed this since school officially started.

 

“They’re so little,” she laughs, observing the way they hold themselves.  They’re just tiny adults,  all chatting and acting like they understand the whole world.

 

“Do you want to be a parent?”  It’s a serious question that didn’t come from a serious place, but Madge doesn’t panic.  She feels comfortable talking about anything with him at this point.

 

“Yes, someday,” Madge shrugs.

 

“Me too.”

 

“You’d make such a great dad,” she tells him, not to compliment him but just to be honest.

 

But Gale just raises a brow.  “Really?  You think so?”

 

“Sure,” she laughs, eating another spoonful of her yogurt.  The weather’s going to start darkening up soon.  She’s going to miss the days when they could eat lunch at the park together in t-shirts.

 

After a couple more minutes of watching the kids play, Gale clears his throat.  “I think we’d make a pretty good team.”

 

Madge holds her breath.  He’s teasing her, saying things to her that make her heart race and her imagination wander.  She knows it’s dangerous or naive but she can’t help herself, so she leans in closer to him and presses a kiss on his cheek.

 

“I think so too.”

 

* * *

 

The shower is warm enough as it patters down onto her back, and Madge closes her eyes and scrubs the soap on her skin, loving the feeling of being clean.

 

“I hate the dorm showers,” Gale mumbles from in front of her.  “They’re half the reason I decided to move out.”

 

Madge takes a dollop of soap and lathers it, rubbing it all over Gale’s torso too.  He feels so good, and when Gale closes his eyes and she looks down, she knows it feels good for him too.  It makes her smirk.  “They can’t be all bad.  The pressure is just right.”

 

“Does that really make it worth it, though?”

 

“There’s also good privacy.  We’ve been in here forever and no one else has come in,” she reasons.

 

Gale chuckles, stepping closer to her and bringing his hands down to cup her ass.  “Well, no one else showers at four in the afternoon, Undersee.  We’re fucking crazy, aren’t we?”

 

Madge doesn’t need to answer to confirm that it’s true.  Gale is sucking gently on her neck, coaxing a moan out of her, and she can’t help but let the words tumble out of her mouth.  “I love your mouth.”

 

He stops for a while, pausing to inspect her closely.  “Thanks, Undersee.  I love your eyes.”

 

“I love…” she starts, pausing to think of something to satisfy their rules.

 

Gale raises his eyebrows.  “What?”

 

“Your feet,” she shrugs jokingly while looking down, and Gale snorts.  “Really I do, the way they wiggle.  Wow, look at them go.”

 

“I love the way you kid, it’s perfect.”

 

“Careful,” she warns, knowing that those kinds of words are edging towards the line they’ve drawn.  “Careful when you go there.”

 

“What?  I mean it.  You’re witty and you’re smart as hell.  I can say it if it’s true, can’t I?” 

 

Technically yes.  But the idea is that neither of them mean stuff like that, it has to be a lie.  They can love all the surface level stuff about each other, but nothing deeper, nothing scary that would complicate things or become insincere.

 

The emotions make Madge distracted, but she goes back to being flirtatious and sexy as fast as she catches herself.  Her hand comes out in between them and tugs lightly on Gale’s length, and it causes him to curse between his teeth.

 

“Do you love  _ that _ ?” she asks meekly, and Gale just shakes his head with a grin, as if he can’t believe this girl he’s with.

 

“Yeah, I fucking love that, Undersee.”

 

So she strokes him a bit more until he’s rock hard, and Gale growls with pleasure as he pushes her against the cold wall of the shower and kisses her up and down.  He nicks the tender skin on her neck and causes her to gasp out in pleasure.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispers into her ear with conviction.  And it feels important, because it’s not an opinion to him, but a fact.  Gale says it like it’s not up for debate, it’s not part of their silly game or silly people around them, and that comforts her.  His words ground her like nothing else, and it’s scary yet reassuring.

 

“Thank you,” is all she can answer back, staring at his grey, grey eyes when he pulls back from his ministrations.  Then he chuckles, as if their awkward use of manners and spontaneous bouts of honesty are anything less than typical.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

 

Katniss is in Madge’s room, trying to concentrate on studying but fiddling with her braid instead.  It isn’t a normal occurrence anymore, they mostly just study together out of habit these days, if Madge is being honest. 

 

“I just feel like we haven’t caught up in so long.  I mean, I know everyone’s fourth year of college is busy, but could he really be  _ that _ busy?

 

“I don’t know,” she answers back vaguely, feeling guilty and stupid for not just saying something.  Gale feels like a touchy subject, and honestly Madge has no idea how Katniss would react if she found out that her two friends were fooling around.

 

It’s more than just fooling around though.  Things are moving comfortably fast, and even though sometimes she feels like she’s jumping in head first it all feels so right.  Gale is everything she wants, he understands her and makes her feel like a better person.  But she doesn’t know how to tell Katniss that; she doesn’t know how to tell her that she feels closer to her ex-boyfriend than she does anyone else at this school.  Madge shies away from those uncomfortable conversations, so instead she bites her tongue and continues to make notes for their management class.

 

And when she asks Gale about it, he doesn’t seem to want to change things either. 

 

“What’s the point in telling her?  She’s only going to get angry, and I don’t want this to change,” he says, snuggled up behind her on his bed.  His mouth is trailing kisses down her neck, each one causing more of a shiver.

 

"I don't know, it just feels like the right thing."

 

"This feels more right," he replies, as if that's the only natural answer.  "And if one small lie is made so that this can last forever, wouldn't you want it to?"

 

Madge turns around to face him, smiling adoringly at this boy who makes her heart flip.  She loves Thursdays this year because after noon, neither of them have classes all day.  They hide away in his apartment the whole night, fucking, joking and talking.

 

"I love... your everything," she states simply, hoping to pass it off as just another one of their games.  But it means more than that, so much more.  She wants Gale to complete her and smother her with kisses like he always does forever and ever, and she hopes he understands that.

 

He stares and smiles.  "I love your everything too."

 

And they both know that it's college but neither of them care, they know they've found something important and intend to hold onto it.  Madge will keep Gale Hawthorne in her life at all costs if it means she'll be happier.

 

Over the winter holiday, while her parents fly off to a work conference somewhere in the Caribbean, he takes her home to meet his family.  Gale's mom seems hesitant about her at first, probably because of how quick this all came about from Katniss and Gale's break up.  But she warms up, and soon Hazelle is chatting happily with her and acting like her normal self, according to him.

 

And his siblings are all great, they all ask her too personal questions and bother Gale about his new girlfriend.

 

“Is your hair naturally that colour?” eleven year old Posy asks with wide eyes.

 

Madge nods kindly.  “Yeah, they’re all blondes on my mom’s side of the family.  Why, do you like it?”

 

“Yes.  I want to make my hair that colour, but my mother won’t let me.”

 

“Oh, well you have beautiful hair,” she replies sincerely, admiring Posy’s thick, dark hair that looks so sleek even while she’s just a child.  “I always wished I had dark hair.”

 

Posy crosses her arms and rolls her eyes.  “You’re only saying that because I have the same hair as Gale, aren’t you?”

 

That makes her laugh, looking over at Gale who’s in the kitchen helping his mom with dinner.  She  _ does  _ love his hair, a dark, dark brown that is almost black, but you can see warmer tones in it when he steps into the sun.  She loves running her hands through it, especially when he sleeps in her lap and she strokes it to comfort him. 

 

“You caught me, Posy.”

 

Honestly, Gale’s little sister is such a joy.  She’s a huge talker and she loves to ask questions, and Madge just hopes that never goes away.

 

At dinner she sees him smiling in between bites, and she can’t help but smile as well.  This is going really well, Madge barely enjoys herself half as much as right now when she goes back to her home.

 

“Hey Gale,” Rory starts, chewing with his mouth open.  Madge sees Hazelle physically bite her tongue from across the table, not wanting to comment on his manners.  “My friends and I, last week we found a beat up motorcycle at the back of a motorshop.  They said they could give it to us for free.”

 

Gale nods with interest and a bit of a laugh, implying some sort of backstory.  “Did you take it?”

 

“Are you kidding?  Mom would rip my head off,” Rory exclaims, which gets a sound of aggravation from Hazelle and a snort from Vick.

 

“And?  Did your friends take it?”

 

“Not yet.  I think they might.”

 

It’s then that his mother intervenes.  “Rory Hawthorne.  If you so much as participate in anything to do with fixing that bike I’ll-”

 

“I won’t!  I swear I won’t,” her son insists, raising his hands in the air in surrender.

 

“How can you trust him,” Vick asks pragmatically.  “He obviously will.”

 

“What’s wrong with motorcycles?” Madge asks quietly, and Gale peps up, ready to tell the story.

 

“When I was in high school, I found a beat up old motorcycle just like Rory.  I was working part time at the mechanic shop I told you about, so in my free time I would stay there and fix it up.”

 

“That sounds like a good hobby,” she comments.

 

“Yeah, I saved up or scavenged for all the spare parts.  It took me about three months, I think, to get the thing running again.  And when I finally finished the bike I drove it home.  The first thing Ma said to me was-”

 

“-I wouldn’t let my son drive one of those things around,” Hazelle finishes, looking slightly irritated, but also nostalgic.  “Those motorcycles are dangerous.  Do you know how many people get into accidents riding them?”

 

“She really went off on me when I insisted on keeping it,” Gale chuckles.

 

“What happened to the motorcycle?  It was fixed up and everything,” Madge asks observantly, and Hazelle and her son share a small smile.

 

“Ma took it one day when I was at school.  Sold it for a good amount of money, considering I acquired it for nothing.”

 

“And the money?”

 

“Put it into my college tuition,” he concludes, as if it were obvious.  Gale’s mom is smiling with nostalgia and Madge can’t help but smile too, because it’s beautiful that she taught him to put money he worked for into giving him more opportunities, she turned that motorcycle into a lesson.

 

* * *

 

 

After Christmas, school starts to pick up more quickly.  At least is does for Gale; it’s his last year of college and he’s really putting in that extra effort into his studying.  He’s already gotten into graduate school for a masters in engineering, but he’s not sure if he wants to stay in school for another three years.

 

“What are you going to do instead?” Madge asks.  They’re at his apartment in his room watching shows on her laptop and snacking on candy.  She has her textbook in her lap, but isn’t really able to concentrate on it.

 

“Some firms might hire me right away, that’s what I’m hoping for,” he replies while playing with a piece of her hair.  “I just want to get out school and live my life, you know?  But I could always do graduate school.  I suppose.”

 

“Then you’d still be close to me…” she reminds, still unable to fathom what next year is going to be like if he’s gone.

 

Gale’s arm around her shoulder pulls her close, and he presses a kiss against her forehead.  “I know.  It’s just that I’d rather be making money than spending money on tuition.”

 

“Makes sense.”

 

So he applies for as many engineering firms that he can find.  Madge doesn’t know much about it except that he spends all night editing resumes and cover letters and goes in for a couple of interviews.  Their relationship has become to habitual that she doesn’t need him to take her out and entertain her in any special way; being together is enough, and they savour it as they should.

 

“Hawthorne’s so lucky that he’s graduating,” Jo sighs one afternoon while they’re hanging out in her dorm room.  “I keep thinking that it’s my last year of school too for some reason, then I realize I have an entire year more to go.”

 

“I think I’m going to miss it.”

 

“I won’t, I hate school.  You know that.”  Even if they met each other here, Madge knows that college was always more of the wish of Jo’s parents than her own.  If it were up to her she’d be travelling or finding a job already.

 

“I know, but it’s kind of scary, don’t you think?  Living on your own and doing… adult things.”

 

“I feel like once you get the hang of it it will be fine,” Johanna shrugs.  It’s hard to picture, and Madge always thought it would be a gradual transition from school to work.  But the closer it gets, the more she realizes that it’ll come all at once, she’s still unsure how to deal with that.

 

Madge doesn’t wallow in it for long, though.  She still has an entire year to think things through.

 

Gale on the other hand, figures it out just a month later.  He’s waiting outside one of her lecture halls with a smirk on his face, wearing his dad’s old leather jacket.  The weather’s only been improving recently, and Madge appreciates the change in sight.

 

“Hey,” she smiles, walking up to him coyly.  “What are you doing here?”

 

“Just wanted to wait for you,” he shrugs, getting up to walk with her.  There’s no discussion but they know that they’re headed back to his place.  After a couple more paces, he spills the good news.  “I got a job.”

 

“Really?” Madge exclaims, stopping him in his path.  “When?”

 

“I got the call an hour ago.  It’s the junior associate position I was telling you about, the one upstate?”

 

“That’s amazing!” she laughs, throwing her arms around him and holding Gale tight.  It’s good news, he’s going to graduate and leave college to jumpstart his career, it’s, “It’s upstate.”

 

“I know,” Gale says, and then he swallows hard.  “That’s why I came here.  I wanted to talk to you about that.”

 

So they talk about it.  The job he took is in a city upstate, it’s really only a two hour drive away.  But that’s far enough for them to not see each other everyday, and that honestly scares Madge quite a bit.  Many things about the future scare her these days, but she thinks they can do it.

 

“You’ll call me everyday, right?” 

 

Gale chuckles as they walk up the stairs to his apartment.  “Of course.”

 

“And you’ll visit me here.”

 

“Why are you talking about it like it’s already here?” he asks, and then he backs her into his door, hands around her waist and face close to hers.  Madge knows it’s this sense of proximity, of nearness, that she’s going to miss.  He’s always here to comfort her, and she’s afraid that’s going to go away.  “I still attend this school until the end of the year.”

 

“When do you start?”

 

“July.”

 

“That’s too soon,” she laughs sadly, but Gale kisses her lightly on the lips.

 

“Hey, we’re going to make this work, okay?  I promise,” he offers.

 

And she knows that it’s unlike him to make promises he can’t keep.  Their whole relationship was based on realistic expectations or some sort of honesty that made them different.  So now either they’ve given that up for hope that this will work out, or Gale really believes this will all be fine.

 

Madge doesn’t want to speculate which one it is.  So she kisses him back; she pulls on the lapels of his jacket and just breathes him in.

 

* * *

 

 

**Senior Year**

 

Senior year starts off manageably hard, as expected.  Everyone in Madge's class is either worn out by a fourth year of rigorous studies or excited to finish and move on with their lives.  Either way, everyone's eager to graduate.

 

Madge doesn't really know where she fits into that comparison, though.  She's a little lost if she's to be honest, scared and unsure about what she's going to do with herself once she gets out.

 

"You could always come back home for a while.  Teach piano, work at the music shop, keep me company..."  Delly lists off during one of their calls.

 

"No offense Dell, but my parents would be so distraught if they sent me to school for four years, only for me to move right back home."

 

Her friend laughs.  "I know, I know.  I guess I just wish that I could see you more often.  I... I really miss you."

 

"Or /you/ could move to the city and all of our problems could be solved," Madge points out.  Delly's brother  was doing just fine, she did a great job of looking after him and all his treatments had gone to plan, as far as Madge was aware.  Delly had no excuse not to leave their little hometown anymore, and Madge knows that she'd love it in the city.

 

"I could..." Delly ponders.  "But I don't know if I can trust you.  I know that you're just lonely right now."

 

And she's right; Madge is horribly lonely on campus this year.  She has Jo, sure, and she's made some other low commitment friendships over three years, but Gale is far away, and that's enough for her heart to hurt and to crave more daily affection.

 

As for Gale, he seems to be doing just fine on the other side of the state.  They Skype almost every other day, he tells her about all the characters he met at his new office and the type of work that he's doing.  Madge nods along and listens carefully, but most of the time she just misses his stupid face and is happy that he's happy.

 

"And yesterday night a couple coworkers invited me out to the bar.  I was tired and not in the mood, but I figured it would be a good idea to get to know them, prove that I'm not a total buzzkill," Gale recalls, and Madge laughs while looking at him through the laptop screen.

 

"No one could possibly think that you're a buzzkill."

 

"You're only saying that because you love me."

 

"You went to the bar," she reminds, going back to the story.  Then what happened?"

 

"Oh yeah.  Well, everyone here drinks that beer that you love, but that I think is fucking disgusting.  What was it called?"

 

"Everyone drinks Pabst Blue Ribbon?"

 

"Yes!"

 

"Oh my god, I need to move there right away," she jokes, grateful that Gale told her that story and that he's been thinking about her.  "Not even for you.  Just for my beer preference allies."

 

"That hurts," Gale chuckles.  He stares blankly for a second, and then he runs his fingers through his hair.  "You wouldn't like it here too much though.  Not enough people, you love the city too much."

 

"You're probably right," she shrugs.  Obviously she would never move upstate if someone paid her too, but she does terribly miss him an awful lot.  "Are you coming to visit next weekend?"

 

"Yeah, I'm driving up right after work on Friday," he replies, and Madge's smile grows into a bigger, more genuine one.

 

"Good.  I miss you."  These days, she kind of misses everybody.

 

"I really miss you too, Madge," he whispers, and they both know that even if their relationship was built on words left unsaid and anticipation, this isn't the kind of situation where they want to wait.  Madge just wishes they could be together, long distance is harder than she thought it out to be.

 

She tries not to drag out their Skype calls too late, Gale needs to get to work the next morning and she still has classes, but they both wish they could just keep looking at each other and talking through the night.  It's usually when the first person yawns that they start to wind down their interactions and say their goodbyes.

 

When he comes to visit her, that's the best though.  They hang out off campus and do whatever they feel like doing.  Gale jokes that he wants to stay off campus because he doesn't want anything to do with that place anymore, only going back to sleep in her dorm.  Madge knows that he's partially serious, so she easily complies.  Besides, the college campus is starting to bore her too.  She'd  rather spend a morning at the museum or shopping down a crowded street.

 

"Wow, I missed this park so much," he exclaims as they walk hand in hand through the green space one weekend.  It's still early fall, the trees are still green and the air is just starting to cool.  "I used to run through here, I forgot how much I loved it."

 

"It’s really is pretty, isn't it?"

 

"I really want to move back to the city, I'll find a way to do that one day," he promises to himself, and Madge smiles to herself, knowing that his decision has nothing to do with her but likes the idea of him moving back closer to her.  But she supposes that it doesn't mean anything, she doesn't even know if she's staying here next year. 

 

Gale isn’t able to come every weekend, and Madge wouldn’t want him to anyway.  That would just tire him out, and she knows that she can still call and text him as a decent replacement.  But obviously seeing each other in person is best, and she would drive over to him on her days with no classes, if only she had a car.

 

“What, are you just going to get him to drive you everywhere when you end up living together?” Jo asks one afternoon while she’s having a smoke.  Madge sits beside her on the bench and reads, but looks up from the book when she hears her friend’s words.

 

“Who said anything about moving in together?”

 

“I did.  Unless you guys have other plans.  You two  _ have  _ talked about what you’re going to do after graduation, haven’t you?”

 

“Kind of,” Madge snaps defensively, but then she reflects.  ‘Not really.  I don’t know.  I don’t have anything planned out after graduation, if I’m being honest.”

 

“Me too, but that’s because I’m me.  This is very unlike you,” Johanna observes bluntly.  “Isn’t it stressing you out?  Madge Undersee, not having total control over the meticulous details in her life?”

 

“Well, now it is,” Madge accuses, now that Jo has planted the seed in her head it’s probably all she’s going to think about for the next week.  Therefore she changes the subject for now, nodding at her friend’s smoke wedged between her fingers.  “You told me you were going to quit.”

 

“I know, I know,” she promises.  “I’m already cutting back.  Don’t worry about me, give it a few months and I’ll be so healthy that I’ll be around to bug you for the rest of your life.”

 

She laughs.  “I hate you.”

 

Jo just shakes her head and ashes the cigarette.  “That’s not true.”

 

Neither of them have the near future totally figured yet, but it’s alright.  Maybe they’re both closeted optimists, hoping that things will just fall into place in the end.

 

And there’s evidence to prove that theory.  The year goes by rather quickly with no major bumps in the road all throughout the winter break.  Gale came to visit almost every other week, and they’d been video calling whenever it was possible.  He didn’t get a three week break from work like Madge did from school, but they saw each other for two days after Christmas Eve, she went to visit his family and a spend a little time with the Hawthornes.

 

January seems to be progressing the same way until Katniss runs into them in the dorms.

 

Gale is visiting for the weekend as he does, and they just came back from dinner.  Madge already has a couple of movies picked out on her laptop for them to choose from, but Katniss stops them in the halls.

 

“Gale?” she calls, looking confused but also happy to see her old friend’s face.  “Hey!  I can’t believe it’s really you.”

 

“Hey, Katniss,” he grimaces back, stuffing his hands in his pockets and looking at the ground.

 

“What are you doing on campus?” she asks obliviously as her eyes finally dart towards Madge, standing beside her boyfriend with wide eyes.  “You know that you don’t go here anymore right?  You graduated last year.”

 

She tries to rack her brain for an excuse, some sort of explanation for why they would be together right now.  It’s how they’ve been operating for a year and a half after all.

“Um, well we-“

 

“I’m visiting Madge,” Gale butts in, stating the truth loud and clear.

 

“Visiting her?” Katniss laughs, she seems like she doesn’t really understand the words.

 

“Yeah.  We’re dating.”

 

“How long have you been-“

 

“Almost two years.”

 

Everyone stops talking then, just letting the information sink in.  Madge can barely believe that they’ve been dating for that long, she’s shocked by the number when Gale says it out loud.  And for almost two years they’d been hiding from Katniss, both of their friend, sometimes passively but often with intent, because they were too scared of this reaction they would get out of her.

 

“Two years?” she repeats in disbelief.  “Two of my best friends have been dating for  _ two years _ and I didn’t even know?”

 

“I’m sorry you have to find out like this,” Gale tries to explain.  “We just-“

 

“No, don’t go all cordial on me.  You always do that, I deserve more than that, I think.”

 

“I don’t know what you mean.”

 

“I just need an explanation.  Did you hide it from me because we dated?  Because I don’t care about that, I’m just angry that both of you decided to lie to me.”

 

“It’s not that black and white, Katniss.  You hurt me too.”

 

“When?”

 

“When you broke up with me,” he responds.  Madge should be surprised that they haven’t talked about the way their relationship ended since sophomore year, but when she racks her brain she really doesn’t know when they could’ve done that.  It barely took Gale two months for him to jump into Madge, and even then he was bitter about how cold Katniss had been.  “That phone call.  What the fuck was that?”

 

“I don’t know, it was a hard year for me.  Do you expect me to explain myself after all this time?”

 

“No, I’m just trying to prove my point.  How do you expect me tell you every bit of my life when you literally told you didn’t need me anymore?”

 

“I doubt I said that.  And it wasn’t just ‘not telling me,’ you went out of your way to make sure I didn’t know.”

 

“That’s not true.”

 

“Well that’s all I can assume, right?  Because you haven’t told me anything!” Katniss snaps, and it doesn’t seem like she has any steam left.  She sighs and steps back, still staring at Gale’s stoic face.  “I just need to time to think this through, I think.  A lot of time.”

 

“Wait, Katniss, just-“

 

“I really can’t hear it,” she concludes, laughing humorlessly and retreating down the hall.

 

And they go to her room too, they lie on her head but Madge decides not to bring up the movies at all.  She doesn’t really know what to say to comfort him, she just knows that he’s upset in the worst way.  Gale lies down with his head in her lap and doesn’t look up, so all she can do is stroke his hair and listen to him.

 

“I guess she had to find out eventually, right?  I don’t even know how she was in the dark for so long.  We were so stupid.”

 

“It’s hard to fathom now,” she agrees.  Only the bedside lamp it on, casting a warm light over the back of her boyfriend’s head and one face of the wall.

 

Gale rubs his face with his hands and shakes his head.  “And I just keep thinking that this was all my fault.  You wanted to tell her too, you wanted to do the right thing.”

 

“I’m not a saint, Gale, I’m as guilty as you are.”

 

“I love you so much,” he whispers earnestly out of nowhere, taking her hand from his face and clutching it with his own.  Madge is grateful that he knows that she’s there for him, and that even through all of these problems she’s going to be right beside him for all of it.

 

“I love you too,” she answers back with no games and all sincerity.

 

Gale kisses her hand slowly and then goes back to thinking.  “I still know I could’ve done something though.  I knew that she was having a hard time that year, at home and… with other things.  She was going to go start seeing a therapist.  And then I had to take it all personally and decide to fuck up the whole friendship.”

 

“You weren’t impartial, it was hard to be objective like that.”

 

“I know,” Gale promises.  “But I think I was in the wrong, still.  I think I fucked up.”

 

Madge doesn't know how to mediate situations like this, nor does she think she has a place to.  All of this is as much her fault as is it Gale’s, it's just that Katniss and Gale were closer, they'd been friends for years and that mattered more to her.

 

They try not to bring it up after that night, but Madge probably would if she didn't know that Gale was hurting so much.  She can tell by the way he lacks the same enthusiasm and joy he used to have when they would call, he's throwing himself into his work to distract himself, and that leaves less time for their relationship.

 

It goes on like this for a while.  Meanwhile, Madge just tries to concentrate on her senior year, no matter how little of it is left.

 

One Friday afternoon, Gale texts her letting her know that he won’t be there until late because of work things.  Madge insists that he doesn’t have to come if he’s too tired, even when she does miss him dearly and hasn’t seen him in a while.  He texts her anyway.

 

**_Gale:_ ** _  I’ll come, don’t worry about it.  I miss you. _

 

But he never indicated how late he would actually be, and Madge can only study renaissance influences of music and browse job listings with no intent for so long before her eyelids start to get heavy and she starts to lose hope.  Her hope was that she and Gale would go out for a drink or something when he arrived, but it didn’t seem like that was happening.  So she turns out the lights and lies down.

 

It’s getting hard.  It’s getting hard to pretend everything is the same when something truly has changed between them, something to do with Katniss but maybe also just the way they are.  Madge feels like a chore that Gale has to tend to or something, and she isn’t sure if it’s just the distance getting to her head or if there’s really something wrong, but she’s too scared to ask.

 

Madge sleeps until sometime during the night, it couldn’t have been that long because the glow from her computer screen is still behind her.  She stirs awake because someone is shifting the blanket to tuck in behind her, and immediately she relaxes.

 

“Sorry I woke you,” Gale whispers, pressing a kiss to her shoulder and pulling her in.

 

“It’s okay,” she replies while finding his hand and interlacing the fingers.  For a few minutes Madge really tries to go back to sleep, closing her eyelids and trying to go back to her slumber.  But she hears Gale’s breathing and knows he’s awake, and her heart’s beating quickly but she couldn’t tell him why so she turns over and stares at him.

 

As suspected his eyes are open, and he looks back at her like he’s trying to find out if she’s changed.

 

“You really didn’t have to come so late at night.  You could’ve driven tomorrow morning, or stayed home.”

 

“Didn’t you want to see me?” Gale chuckles humorlessly.  “Don’t worry, honestly.  My boss invited a couple of us out for dinner, to talk about the firm and whatever.  And then I was having some issues with my car.”

 

“You should get a new car.”

 

“I’m saving up,” he responds, and that makes Madge laugh for some reason, because they’re always one step ahead of each other.  She strokes his face slowly, she isn’t used to him shaving everyday but he does it now and she doesn’t mind it.

 

They seem to just stare at each other for hours.  Madge doesn’t know why, but even while Gale is right in front of her holding her and talking to her, she feels like she misses him.

 

“Wow, you must be pretty important to your boss if she invited you out to dinner,” she comments jokingly.

 

“Maybe,” he shrugs.  It’s too late for small talk and teasing, she can tell by his furrowed brow and the way that he must be thinking.

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

“Madge, can you kiss me?” he asks with some sort of vulnerability that she can’t describe.  Madge has never seen it before, so she willingly complies, pressing her lips against his softly and letting her eyes flutter shut.  She hopes that her kisses bring him the comfort or the reassurance that he was looking for, otherwise she doesn’t know what use she has to him anymore.

 

He still feels the same.  There isn’t anything about his touch or his smell that has changed at all.  There shouldn’t be any difference between how they are right now and how they were last year, but for some reason it feels something is ending so Madge clings to it.

 

She manages to cling onto it for longer than she expected, the pieces of their relationship that hadn’t rusted or vanished.  It’s a month later before Madge realizes that Gale hasn’t talked about anything that hasn’t been work or his family with her in forever, and his calls and texts feel different, solemn almost.

 

Apparently Gale comes to the same realization simultaneously.  Sometime in March he comes to visit her, but he doesn’t have anything packed for overnight.

 

“I just… I just don’t really know what we’re doing anymore.”

 

“With long distance?” Madge asks, desperate for clarification.  “I know it’s been tough.  But if you’re talking about everything else, I guess I don’t know what to tell you.”

 

“Not everything else.  Just, some things.”

 

She’s not blind, or clueless.  She knows.  “It feels like we’re treading.”

 

“Exactly,” he nods, and then his face softens.  The silence doesn’t feel uncomfortable, they’re on the same page, Madge just wishes that they weren’t.

 

So she starts to discredit herself, like she always does it situations like these.  “You didn’t have to come out all the way to school to break up with me.  I get it.”

 

“I’m on my way home to visit my family,” he explains, and she holds back the laugh, as if the idea of Gale trying to kill two birds with one stone comforts her at all.  

 

“Okay,” she shrugs, pulling the sleeves of her sweater over her hands and looking away.  “I guess, I guess that’s it then.”

 

“I still love you.”

 

“You don’t get to do that.”

 

“What do you mean?  It’s true, I still love you.  We need a break from  _ this _ but I’ll always need you.”

 

“Why are you like this right now?” Madge laughs humorlessly.  “We were never about hyperbole and empty promises.  You know that it’s going to fuck me up.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You don’t have to be,” she spits back.  Stepping into the door frame with a hand on the knob.

 

“Madge,” he pleads, as if he’s the one being broken up with.  “Please, I-”

 

“Please don’t drag this out,” she begs, already feeling an emptiness in her chest and tears welling in her eyes.  “It’s really hard.”

 

He doesn’t stop her when she closes the door that time.

 

* * *

 

Madge spends the next two weeks coming to terms with the fact that it’s all really gone.  Things really aren’t that different from before.  She’s still alone at school, having barely figured out her future and wallowing in her unspoken fears.  It’s how she knows that the breakup was just, it was on the road to happening anyway if nothing has changed.  Gale just knew to pull the bandage off.

 

The pain is dull, not sharp like she thought it would be.  Maybe a lump in her throat that makes it hard to swallow, or a pit in her stomach that makes her want to coil.

 

Manageable, she supposes.

 

* * *

 

It takes another week for the her to really get used to her situation.  But just as Madge’s brain starts to feel slightly better, her body acts up.

 

She’s bloated and feels heavy, and nothing really looks appealing to eat.

 

Her breasts are a little sore, but she continues to look past it.

 

It isn’t until she racks her brain for the last time her period came and can’t quite remember that she finally buys a test from the drugstore.

 

* * *

 

_ “Hello?” _

 

“Hey, Dell.  You’re still visiting me this weekend, right?”

 

_ “Yeah, of course, I’m driving over tomorrow.  What, is there something wrong, Madge?” _

 

“No.  I mean, yes.  I- look, when you get here I need you to drive me somewhere else.”

 

_ “Sure, of course.  Where do you have to go?” _

 

“I need to talk to Gale.”

 

_ “...” _

 

“Dell?  You still there?”

 

_ “Yeah, okay I’ll drive you.  Isn't he far away though?” _

 

“Around two hours, I think?  I've never actually done it.”

 

_ “Gee, that  _ is  _ far.  What could be so important that you need to drive two hours to talk to your ex for?” _

 

* * *

 

They had always seen eye-to-eye on kids.  Even though they were still young Madge would sometimes entertain the thought of marrying him and raising their kids together.  Never did she think the opportunity would come so soon.

 

And Gale was always accommodating, so fucking accommodating.  He used to do everything in his power to make her feel comfortable, make her feel listened to.

 

She expected that telling him would be much of the same again, Gale would be willing to stick by whatever decision she made and pretend to be indifferent.  Jo had asked why she had to travel all the way to see him in person about this when if it were her, she probably wouldn't even tell the guy.  Madge didn't think it needed explaining.  The minute she showed up at his home and told him the news, the only clear reason why she went through the trouble to come all the way over here was obviously because she wanted to keep it.

 

Madge just didn't expect Gale to have the response that he did.

 

_ “I want it too,” _ he had said.   _ “If you're going to have our child and raise it then of course I need to be part of their life.” _

 

_ “You don't have to say that because you think it's the right thing to do.  I'm keeping it whether you care or not, it doesn't have to involve you.” _

 

_ “I didn't even get to have a dad after the age of ten.  If I'm going to be a dad now I can't half-ass it.  I couldn't live with myself for that.”   _ It's a point she hadn't considered, something that made the whole arrangement seem inevitable.

 

When she gets back to the car Delly puts down her phone quickly and starts to ask questions.

 

“What did he say?”

 

Madge shrugs.  He said a lot of things.  He also didn't say a lot of things.  “He wants to help me raise it.”

 

“Really?  How would that work?”

 

“He said that he's going to find work in the city.  For the first year or so I’m going to take care of it, breast feeding and all that.  And then, when it's old enough, we’re going to take turns.”  They had figured it out right then and there.  Everything they were going to do to raise this child together.

 

“And?” her best friend asks.

 

“And what?”  She didn't think that she had missed anything jarring, and the details were yet to be worked out.

 

“How do you feel about it?”

 

It's such a straightforward question, Madge supposes that she should have a straightforward answer.  But instead she shakes her head while biting back tears, a couple leak onto her jeans.

 

“Hey,” Delly coos, leaning over to the passenger seat and embracing her in a warm hug.  Madge latches onto her best friend, she presses her face into Delly’s shoulder and doesn't hold back on crying anymore.  “It's going to be okay, I'm right here for you through the whole thing.  You know that, right?”

 

“I know,” she sobs.  “But… but I’m still scared.”

 

“It's okay to be scared.  But do you know what it makes you that you're doing this on your own, that you're going to be a mother?  It makes you brave.”  Delly strokes her hair slowly and hugs her tight.  She's so good, her heart is filled with nothing but genuine kindness and love and Madge would be nowhere without her.  “If this is what you want, then there's no need to cry about it more than once.  You're doing this, okay?  You’ll learn to stay strong, you just watch.”

 

Madge wishes she could hold Delly’s optimism, but for now she doesn’t know how to.

 

* * *

 

She supposes that things start to fall into place soon after.  Not many people find out, she’s still early in the first trimester and isn’t showing whatsoever.  Madge tells Jo though, she has to because she needs  _ someone  _ on campus to divulge everything to.

 

“So you’re going to raise your baby in the city?” she asks curiously, taking all the news uncharacteristically calmly.

 

“Yeah.  I’m going home just before it’s born, for my parents to take care of me for a little bit.  But then I need to find a place to live, I’ll probably teach piano at the conservatory while I look for something more permanent.”

 

“We can live together,” Jo spurts, as if she’s been withholding the idea for months.  

 

“What?”

 

“We can be roommates.  We’ve been practically living together for four years, I know I can stand you.  And… I could help you, with the kid and all that.  You don’t deserve to be alone.”

 

The self-loathing Madge that got dumped would say otherwise.  She doesn’t know why everyone is being so kind to her.  “Really?  I mean, I’d love to live with you.  It makes financial sense, but don’t do it because you think you need to help me or something.”

 

To that, Jo just scoffs.  “You always think that people would rather do anything else if it weren’t for hurting your feelings.  You mean more to me than that, you’re my best friend.  We’ll help each other, it’s only fair.”

 

It sounds like something to look forward to.  House hunting and Jo’s cooking and living with one of her best friends every single day.  The details are yet to be worked out, but Madge can barely wait.

 

It’s stressful, but it’s also… refreshing.  So much of this year she had felt lost and completely devoid of motivation to move forward in her life.  Madge wasn’t sure about her job, her living situation or even if she was going to stay in the city, but now she knows.  Maybe she’s just been thinking too hard about herself for too many years.  Now she can put her efforts into someone else, someone that’s just hers, and it might not be what she had planned before, but it’s a new direction.

 

It becomes hard to concentrate on that sometimes during the pregnancy, especially when she’s bloated and peeing all the time and the bills from her and Jo’s new place are starting to come in.

 

But she’s right.

 

She’s right about the change.

 

It takes five hours in labour to give birth to her daughter.  Gale was there for the whole thing, sitting on a chair next to her hospital bed, and sometimes when it hurt and she shrieked and cried, he would grab her hand and squeeze it tight, comforting her back into a level head.  She’s sure that if she were to ask him about it after, he would pretend not to remember.

 

But when Dakota Hawthorne is born, she already has feathery white hairs on her head.  She has eyes so grey they make Madge cry, but when she breaks into a smile the tears seem to fade away.

 

And she changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for these obscenely long chapters. I don't know if you guys like it or hate it, but I feel as if they'd be boring to read just based on how fucking lengthy it is. Next week, it's back to our regular scheduled programming!
> 
> Comments are not only appreciated, but also encouraged! I'd love to hear your thoughts.
> 
> P.S. I might publish the flashback as a stand alone fic on the archive soon, so if you see it you can leave me some love, but you don't have to read it. It's just the same content.


	12. Chapter 12

It’s nothing if not awkward, the morning after Dakota’s birthday.  Madge had been barely asleep the whole night, falling in and out of her dreams for long enough to stare at the ceiling.  She didn’t know how anyone expected her to get any rest when Gale kissed her, and she could hear him deep breathing just outside her door.

 

The only consolation amongst her anxiety is that Kota had a good time.  Madge knows that all her daughter wants sometimes is to spend time with both her parents.  But it seems cruel to tease her, to pretend that everything is okay when the truth is that Gale and Madge _aren’t_ together.  Madge is torn between making her daughter happy and being honest with herself.

 

By around six, she already knows there isn’t a chance of falling back asleep.  She can’t go outside though because Gale is there, and if she has the option not to face him so soon she’ll take it.  So she waits in her room and remains in her head until Kota stirs.

 

It’s almost like torture, when she hears Gale’s footsteps outside and the water running.  When KoKo finally awakens, Madge shrugs on a sweater and permits herself to exit the room with her daughter.

 

“Morning,” she mumbles.  He’s sitting on the couch and staring idly at his phone, but he puts it down to smile at her.

 

“Good morning.  Sleep well?”

 

“Yes,” Madge lies.

 

“Good morning, Daddy,” Kota says sweetly, still in her little powder purple pyjamas.

 

“Hey baby,” he chuckles, picking up his daughter and placing her in his lap.  “Are you ready for some yummy breakfast?”

 

They’re acting more normal than she thought they were capable of acting.  It’s almost as if last night never happened.

 

“Can Mommy come with us?” she asks innocently.  Honestly, if last night had been any different Madge would’ve considered it.  But she doesn’t think she can handle that as of right now.

 

“I can’t, baby.  You and Dad have fun though.”

 

She’s ready to leave it at that before Gale steps in.  “You can come if you want to,” he nods, and Madge can’t believe him.

 

“I really can not.”

 

“I mean, it’s what Kota wants.  But if you’re really busy I understand,” Gale adds, and she’s just about ready to implode.  She put it past him to use their child against her, but apparently he has no boundaries or limits.  And he’s acting like nothing happened, as if that’s going to give him the upper hand.  Enough is enough.

 

Madge grabs the remote and turns on the TV, which is tuned to the Sunday morning cartoons.  Then, she turns up the volume just a bit.  “KoKo, I’m just going to talk to your dad for a second, can you watch TV for a couple of minutes?”

 

Dakota nods obediently and turns to the screen, hugging Johanna’s stuffed elephant.  Madge urges Gale to move towards the kitchen and then she starts to hiss at him.

 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

 

“If KoKo wants breakfast with the two of us, I don’t think that should be a problem.”

 

“Are you forgetting what happened last night?  I can’t just pretend to be oblivious like you can, Gale, I’m confused and I’m angry at you.”

 

“I’m confused too.”

 

“You don’t get to be confused, you’re the one who did this.”

 

“I’m not just talking about me kissing you,” he elaborates, and Madge holds her breath when he just flat out says it.  Before she was able to dance around the reality, but now she has to come to terms with the fact that it really happened.  “The whole night, we worked, as parents, together.  And I don’t think we ever genuinely tried that.”

 

“Yeah, because that wasn’t part of the arrangement.  What, do you want to confuse her more and pretend we’re together in front of _her_ too?”

 

“No, that’s obviously not what I meant,” Gale dismisses.  He runs a hand through his hair and adjusts his glasses.  He only wears them in the morning and at night, when he doesn’t have his contacts on.  Madge forgets about that sometimes, it makes her nostalgic.  “Whatever.  I just think that Kota had a lot of fun.  And I think we should put whatever shit I started up aside if it means she gets a fun meal with her parents the day after her birthday.”

 

“It’s just a breakfast, Gale.  Don’t turn this into me being a bad parent.”

 

“That’s also _not_ what I meant.  You know I don’t think that, I told you so last night.”

 

“I don’t want to talk about last night right now,” Madge blurts out, louder than their previous tone, just to get her point across.  It hurts because she knows that he’s not just trying to irk her, he’s really trying to talk to her.  She doesn’t remember the last time they had a real conversation like this, and she doesn’t know how to compute that.  “I need space.  Can we respect that.”

 

Gale sighs and nods.  “Sure.  But we don’t have to make a big deal out of it if you don’t want to.”

 

“I don’t know how to do that,” Madge admits.  “It’s already a big deal to me.”

 

The air hangs dead between them and weighs heavily on her heart.  Gale gulps and then nods.  “I’m sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” she dismisses politely.  But she doesn’t know what he’s apologizing about, not specifically.  Clearly he has an opinion about last night, one that he’s not willing to talk about either.  All Madge can think about is his compliments and his kisses, how he admitted to wondering if they could’ve worked out.  She’s sure that he’ll confront her at some point because that’s just who he is, and that he sees what’s going on between them and what Kota wants for breakfast as two totally separate issues.

 

“Alright KoKo, let's get you dressed and we can go get some breakfast,” Gale calls, and their daughter spins her attention away from the television and frowns.

 

“Mommy?”

 

“Mommy can’t.”

 

“I have to wait for Auntie JoJo,” Madge explains, only half lying.  “And then I have some work to catch up on.”

 

“When will I see you again?” Kota pouts.  She's standing on the couch, arms propped on its back.

 

“Friday, I guess.  It's back to our normal schedule.”

 

“How many days is that?”

 

“Five?  Six?” she shrugs, but she doesn't anticipate the exasperated little sigh that comes out of her daughter’s mouth.

 

“Six days is too many!” KoKo insists angrily, throwing herself onto the couch and crossing her arms in resistance.  “Why can’t you send me to school tomorrow?”

 

“Dakota, please don’t whine,” Madge reprimands.  Kota isn’t cranky often, but today her cranky side is out in full force.

 

“But you need to come with us!  You need to come with me and Daddy and Tusky and you need to teach me piano!” she continues to complain, thrashing that poor stuffed elephant in her embrace.  “Why do I have to wait six days?  It isn’t fair.”

 

Madge glances for a second at Gale, who also shares a pained expression on his face, not really knowing what to say to make things better.  If it was just about breakfast she would go, she really would because she hates to see her child so miserable.  But it’s more than that, Kota wants her parents to both be alongside her all the time, she wants them under the same roof and doing all the things normal families do.  She hears about perfect parents at school from her friends, and she sees them in books and movies.  If Madge were to play along that would only make her a bad parent, because it isn’t the truth.  It’s why she’s so hesitant to spend time with Gale like they did yesterday, because Dakota will think that it’s the norm when really, it’s completely unsustainable.

 

Kota continues to whimper and scrunch her eyebrows when Madge sees tears welling up in eyes.

 

“Hey now,” she coaxes, rushing over to the sofa and sitting down to hug her daughter.  Her little body can’t handle the emotions, and sometimes little ones just need to cry out whatever they're feeling and then get some good rest.  Kota cries softly without abandon, and as Madge strokes her back and holds her tight in her arms, she senses Gale start to gather her things and put on his coat.

 

He signals to Madge that their going to go, so she picks Kota up and bounces her lightly as if she were still an infant, a baby like they still sometimes call her.  She decides to carry her daughter down to Gale’s car since she’s still weeping with irrational sadness.  Gale already has all the stuff they brought over, Tusky tucked under his arm and KoKo’s little rain boots dangling in his fingers.

 

“I think we’re just going to go straight home,” he tells her as they make is out of her apartment door.  Madge nods, agreeing with that course of action for them.  They make their way down the stairs with KoKo, still wearing her purple PJ’s and hugging her mother’s neck while she begins to calm down.

 

Often she and Gale treat her like a little lady, they try to speak to her like she’s independent and always use logic to compel her to do things.  But in moments like these Madge recognizes that KoKo is still only five, she’s still really a baby in more ways than one, yet she deals with and withstands so many things everyday.

 

It’s the reason why to her, reconciling with Gale was never an option to consider.  Her priority is being a responsible parent, and giving Kota the facade of a perfect household is an irresponsible thing to do.

 

When they get outside it’s colder than Madge anticipated.  She supposes that autumn is here after all, her pyjamas and a pair of flip flops is barely enough for the morning air.

 

After she straps Kota into the car seat securely like she’s done so many times, she presses a tender kiss to her daughter’s temple.  Now, Dakota is mostly calm, staring at her mother expectantly with wide eyes and still a pout of defiance.

 

“I love you,” Madge whispers.  “Okay?  I’ll see you very, very soon.”

 

Gale closes the trunk and comes up behind her.  “Thank you for bringing her down.”

 

“Of course.”  She couldn’t have not, she hopes Gale knows that.

 

There’s an unspoken air between them, that tension that Madge wants so desperately to dissipate.  And even though they haven’t spoken about what he did last night directly, she feels like saying “I told you so” would be an appropriate response to KoKo’s tantrum.  It’s selfish to think that any unresolved feelings can be openly dealt with, this was the best reality check they could find.

 

“Okay.  I’ll… I’ll talk to you soon, I think.  I mean, if you want to talk about it,” Gale offers, and she nods back lightly.

 

“Sure, I think we have to.”

 

“I’m sorry it was bad timing,” he says, and Madge holds back the audible sigh.  Oh, ever hopeful Gale Hawthorne, he’s too optimistic to think that it’s anything more than just bad timing.  

 

She bites her tongue for that retort.  “I forgive you.”

 

Madge gently shuts the backseat door on Kota, and she gives them a half hearted wave as they drive away from the parking lot.  For a second after they leave, she leans on the brick wall of the building and tries to fathom the last twenty hours she just had.  It’s impossible, and she already knows that whatever discussion she and Gale are going to have will result in an impasse.

 

“You look… pensive,” she hears from beside her, and when she turns her head it’s Johanna, wearing last night’s clothes and raising an eyebrow.  “How was the rest of your night?”

 

“Crazy,” Madge admits, laughing humorlessly at her situation.

 

“Let’s go upstairs and talk about it,” Jo nods, apparently still amused by her pajama and flip flop combination.  “I’m sure we can work it out if you talk to me about it.”

 

“But…” she hesitates.  “I don’t even know where to begin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, I'm getting back into the flow of weekly updates because the flashbacks were heavily pre-written.
> 
> I hope this starts to explain why Madge is so hesitant and why it was so hard for them to reconcile though, sometime some people have been asking me about. We're close to them getting together, but there's a couple more arguments and internal deliberations to be had before Madge decides to change her mindset, Gale too.


	13. Chapter 13

**To: Capital Radio Human Resources  
** **From: Madge Undersee  
** **Subject: Application for music curator position  
  
** **Hello Jill,**

**It’s Madge from production, I hope you are doing well.  I noticed that after last week’s company meeting, Mr. Abernathy put out a job listing for the music curator job he planned on creating.  There was no specification on whether he would be looking inside the company or elsewhere, but with that being said, I took the liberty to fill out the application and update my resume and cover letter for his perusal.**

**Please forward the attached documents to Haymitch.  In my almost three years working at this company I’ve learned so much and I’m ready to contribute more, and in a meaningful way.  If there are any questions, you can contact me at my cell phone number or office number.  I look forward to hearing back from you.**

**Best regards,**

**Madge Undersee**

 

* * *

 

 

“Can I help you with anything?” Madge hears from behind her, and when she spins around she sees a wine boutique employee, staring at her eagerly.  Maybe he came over because she looks lost; and she isn’t usually overwhelmed by picking a bottle wine that she’ll like but these days her head feels cluttered, and this feels like somewhat of a special occasion.

 

“Maybe,” she shrugs.  “I’m bringing a bottle of wine to a friend’s house.  She’s really big on wine, and I think she’s making charcuterie, or something fancy.  Do you have anything that would pair well with anything, preferably a white?”

 

“Hm, fancy, eh?  How fancy are we talking?”

 

“Like, under 40 dollars, so not that fancy.  I think she plays the fanciness up ironically,” Madge ponders, thinking about the sincerity of Delly’s haste text message plans.  She loves inviting a bunch of friends over and cooking for them, and who is Madge to object?  If all she has to do is bring a bottle of something to get some delicious food and a fun night with friends, it’s a worthy trade off.

 

The employee points her to a couple options, and she grabs the one from the region that Delly said that she enjoyed.  None of them really knew anything about wine anyway, despite enjoying it so much.  But at least this way the bottle she brings couldn’t possibly be a total miss.

 

Even if she’s only two days into the week, Madge needs this night and has been looking forward to it.  Between everything that happened over the weekend and getting her application in for the new job to HR, there’s nowhere she’d rather be than with a couple of friends winding down for the evening.  And she’s so grateful that Kota’s not with her, at least in this circumstance.  Finding a babysitter would just create so many extra problems.

 

It’s why she’s so surprised when she knocks on Thom and Delly door, and it’s Gale who answers it.

 

“Hey Madge,” he greets, almost like a sigh.  He’s clearly in his work clothes, but he’s ditched the tie sometime in between getting out of the office and coming here.

 

“Hi,” answers back dumbfoundedly.  She doesn’t know why it never crossed her mind that Gale would be here, they’ve been in this situation with Thom and Delly many times.  Madge and Gale don’t share many of the same friends, but Delly and Thom are their two closest ones; they set them up and now they happen to be engaged.  It’s not uncommon for them to end up hanging out with each other when it comes to Thom or Delly, but it’s simply all the more uncomfortable.  “You found a sitter?”

 

“Of course.  Same girl as last time,” he nods, still awkwardly guarding the door and staring at her wordlessly.  Madge can hear music playing quietly behind him and then Delly pokes her head around the corner and flashes her friend a smile.

 

“Gale, let her in for God’s sake.  You look like you’re either going to fight her or kiss her,” she jokes, urging him to move away so that she can hug her friend.  Madge doesn’t need to make eye contact with Gale to know how awkward this is going to be.  She hasn’t filled Delly in on the situation yet, nor does she really want to.  She already took enough scorn from Johanna when she tried to explain what had happened on Sunday morning.

 

_ “So he just wanted you to shut up, or felt some sort of urge and absolutely  _ needed _ to kiss you?” _

 

_ “I guess, I don’t know.  He said he was confused too.” _

 

_ “I don’t really care if he’s confused or not, you really shouldn’t care either,” Jo responds.  They’re sat on the couch and drinking coffee after Gale and KoKo went home.  “I would scorn him for being selfish, but I guess there’s no point now.  I guess we should just figure out if you like him back?” _

 

_ “What, no.  Who said that he liked me to begin with?” _

 

_ “Don’t be vapid, Madge.  Obviously he does, or at least he misses you in some sort of way.  I don’t know.  But clearly he was  _ empowered  _ by some sort of romantic feeling which caused him to want to kiss you.” _

 

_ “You make it sound straightforward.” _

 

_ “It  _ is _ straightforward.  He feels some sort of way about you, and that’s irrelevent to all the other stuff that you guys have to work out.  But you just have to find out whether you want to work those things out and address the feelings if you reciprocate them, or just leave everything hanging.” _

 

_ Madge thinks about it and wonders if it’s really as easy as Jo makes out.  “What do  _ you _ think I should do?  You obviously have an opinion about me and about Gale.” _

 

_ “I can’t permit myself to have an opinion right now.  You really need to work this out with Hawthorne.” _

 

_ “Can you give me a clue, at least?” she asks while laughing humorlessly.  Any sense of direction would help at this point. _

 

_ “I think you already know my opinion on him.  It’s bias and unhelpful.” _

 

Jo will always give advice that has the interests of Madge’s wellbeing in mind.  She doesn’t know what Madge is feeling inside and only knows the emotional pain she went through all throughout senior year.  And she’s right when she says that reiterating those thoughts would be unhelpful.

 

“Hey Dell,” she smiles, hugging her friend back tightly and deliberately never looking up to meet Gale’s eyes.

 

“I’m so happy you came.  Jo couldn’t, she had work.”

 

Madge raises a brow.  “Allegedly.”  For someone who gives such pragmatic advice, Jo sure is a hypocrite for hooking up with Cressida time and time again.

 

Delly laughs and shrugs.  “Well, you know Jo.  She’s always bored at these things anyways, she probably only comes to not hurt my feelings.”

 

“That’s not true.  But she would get a little bit antsy for sure.”

 

Thom’s in the kitchen making something aromatic and delicious smelling, and Madge says a quick hello to him before talking to some of their other friends.  She’s met most of them, or at least heard their names through conversation.  There’s Portia, who works with Delly at the boutique, and Bristel and Darius, who are Thom’s friends from out of town.

 

At dinner they talk about many things.  Bristel seems to be really upset that she missed their little engagement party. 

 

“That sounds like so much fun!  I wish I could’ve been there.”

 

“Well, Gale and Madge did the whole thing, so...” Thom shrugs, taking a sip of wine.

 

Bristel looks over at them with wide eyes.  “You guys are awesome!”

 

“They’re the ones who set up me and Thom,” Delly explains.

 

“Really?  How did that go down?”

 

“Well, Gale and Madge dated for a while, maybe five or six years ago.  And Madge is my childhood best friend.  But after when I moved to the city, I was really struggling, you know?  I had a hard couple of years looking after Eli, I forgot what it was like to focus on myself.  Anyway, I took up a job waitressing at a small restaurant downtown… that’s when I ran into Gale.”

 

“It was a joint right near my office at that time,” he explains, butting in.  “I hadn’t seen Delly in a while too, so it was crazy when I saw her there.”

 

“I was renting this shitty apartment, the shower head would spurt out in all the wrong directions.  I brought it up to Gale, I guess, he said he knew a guy who could fix it.  A good friend of his.”

 

“It was Thom,” Bristel guesses, so invested in the story.

 

“Of course,” Delly replies, giving her fiancé a coy glance that Madge couldn’t summarize into words.  “He came for an estimate, and then by the time he came back the next week to fix the damn thing, we sort of just, asked each other out.”

 

Madge swoons.  Gale’s probably sick of the story at this point, because he lived it, but Madge was only a passive observer at that time.  Delly and Thom are so good for each other that she knows that it couldn’t’ve been a coincidence that Gale recommended Thom to go fix Delly’s shower.  He knew what he was doing by letting them meet.  It only took a couple of dates for Delly to start shining again, acting playful and optimistic like she always was before Eli’s condition, before she was forced to be serious for four years.

 

“And are you two still friends?” Bristel asks, and it takes Madge a moment to realize that she’s referring to her and Gale.

 

She stares at Gale for the first time that night, trying to find some sort of consensus on whether their getting the full, complicated story tonight, or the abridged version.

 

“Kind of,” Gale chuckles, looking back at her with a gaze stronger than normal.  Maybe he doesn’t feel like rehashing their history tonight either, not now of all times.  But Madge bites the bullet.

 

“I, um… I got pregnant shortly before we ended things.  So, we’re still friends, I guess.  Through Delly and Thom obviously, but we co-parent our daughter.  That requires us seeing each other quite often, I suppose.”

 

“Wow, that’s like  _ pre _ -divorce,” Portia comments.  Gale is clearly not having that much fun putting labels on things that are best left alone.  “How modern.”

 

Madge just shrugs and laughs sarcastically.  “That’s us.  The poster children of modern day parenting.”

 

“And what’s your daughter like?”

 

“She’s really kind, and she’s just a big bundle of enthusiasm,” she responds.  “Her name is Dakota.  She just turned five.”

 

As much as they love talking about Kota, there’s tension across the table when she looks over at him.  Maybe he’s getting a taste of his own medicine.  After all, this is how she feels every time she goes over to the Hawthornes, pretending that everything is fine when all the issues are looming under the table.

 

Thankfully, they manage to get through dinner without talking about their relationship any longer.  Everyone’s more interested in Thom and Delly’s upcoming wedding and all the happy things happening in their lives. 

 

Madge sees Gale checking his watch, and sometimes his phone.  She knows that he’s planning to leave as soon as it isn’t rude.

 

That moment comes after dessert, Thom and Delly insisted to clean up while everyone hangs around and chats in the living room.  Gale puts on his coat and lets the hosts know that he’s leaving, says he need to go into work early tomorrow.  Madge is watching him the whole time though, and she decides to follow him.

 

“Delly, I’m really sorry.  I have to go too.  I’ll tell you everything soon, I promise,” she explains, knowing there would be some confusion about why she’s leaving right after Gale.

 

“Don’t worry,” her friend brushes off.  “I.. Thom literally just told me what happened.  I’m so sorry I made you come tonight, I didn’t know it would be so awkward and-”

 

“It’s not your fault, Dell.  Thank you for dinner, okay?  It was delicious.”

 

“It was all Thom,” she dismisses, and Delly doesn’t keep her any longer so that she can speed walk out the door and down the hall, searching for Gale.

 

Madge doesn’t really know what she wants to say, but tonight she feels somewhat in charge of herself.  Her application at work was submitted, and now she’s going to confront Gale.  She’s going to figure out what he wants from her, and decide if she wants that too.

 

He’s still waiting for the elevator when she gets to him, he looks confused as to why she followed.

 

“Why are you here?”

 

“Didn't you say we had to talk about it?”

 

His stare is still fixated on hers with so many unspoken emotions.  For some moments Madge notices his vulnerability too, when he hugged her after the dinner at the Hawthornes’, after he kissed her.  But Gale puts his guard up again quickly, and she sometimes wishes she could do the same.

 

He nods and steps into the arrived elevator.  “Okay, let’s talk about it.”

 

“Were you going to walk home?”

 

“Yeah.”  Gale’s place is not too far from here.

 

“Okay, I can walk you home and call a cab, I suppose.”

 

“Sure.”

 

The elevator is filled with pregnant silence, and Madge is just trying to put words together and plan how she wants this conversation to go.  She knows that the minute they start, all her neurotic plans will go off the rails, and that it’s never going to be easy to talk about this stuff.

 

The air is cool outside; fall is always more like winter and less like summer.  

 

“I’m sorry,” Gale mumbles after pacing down the sidewalk a few steps.

 

“What for?”

 

“I…I always kept you and Kota separate in my mind for some reason.  The things I did for Kota had it’s own ramifications, and the things I did for you were separate.  Do you know what I mean?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“The whole thing with my family… was for Kota.  I never thought beyond her, or my siblings and my mom.  Well, I guess that only leaves you and me.”

 

“You don’t think what you’re doing with your family is selfish?”

 

“I didn’t, but now I do,” he shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets while they walk.  “When we broke up… I did it because we drifted apart.  I was, I don’t know, confused by the falling out with Katniss.  And I could tell that me never being there, physically and emotionally was making it hard for you.”

 

“You broke up with me for  _ me _ ?” Madge asks in disbelief.  “Because I still loved you, you know that right?”

 

“I loved you too.  But that doesn’t mean it was the best thing for either of us.”

 

“I just don’t know why you thought you could make that executive decision.”

 

“Because there was nothing left, Madge!” he exclaims, stopping in his tracks.  There aren’t any people out on the streets anymore, but she knows that he still feels uncomfortable out in the open, talking about closed matters.  She stops walking too and turns to listen to what he has to say.  “What we had in college, it was so fucking good but it’s done.  It’s gone, and we were never going to get that back.  

 

“Okay,” she answers back softly, not really seeing where this verbal spar is going.

 

“Do you disagree?”

 

“No, I don’t.  Please, go on.”

 

He runs a hand through his hair and looks past her.  “And I just keep thinking about why we stopped loving each other.”

 

“I never-”

 

“Me neither,” Gale promises, and it twists her heart.  “But I think about why I never tried again, why you never tried again and it’s because Kota became our number one priority.  I prioritized her over everything which is why when my family assumed we were still together, I went along with it. And when they talked about how great you were and how good we were supposed to be I didn’t have to act the part.  I knew that it was all true.  But I didn’t know how to act on it because I wasn’t thinking about that, not directly.  I was too invested in being a parent.”

 

“I know what you mean, it was hard.”

 

“But I guess, I’m at a point in being a father where… I’m realizing that I need to act on those things that I put aside.”

 

“Again, Gale.  You’re always making choices for the two of us and I can’t let you do that,” Madge reminds him.  She crosses her arms and sighs.

 

“But don’t you feel the same way too?  I’m not forcing you into anything but if you want to try and I do too then I think that that’s okay.”

 

“I feel the same way, maybe.  But you can’t just cast our daughter aside and say that it’s all fine and good.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Us being together, it confuses her.  She wants it more than  _ anything _ , Gale, and it breaks my heart.  If we decide to try things, who’s to say that it’ll all work out?  I’m… I’m afraid that it won’t and it’s going to make her so upset and just even more confused.”

 

“So what?  I love you but I’m not allowed to act on it, so long as we have a daughter together?”

 

Madge’s breath catches.  “Don’t put it that way.”

 

“Why not, I really mean it, Madge,” he insists, nodding ahead to their path ahead.  They start to walk again, maybe the motion helps him piece his thoughts together.  “I’m tired of being in this routine that feels selfless and lonely.  I mean, we cherish Dakota and literally all the happiness I permit myself to have comes from her.   But isn’t that unsustainable?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“And I’ve thought about why we never tried again, it doesn’t make sense to me anymore.  I want to try again.”

 

“We can’t just forget all of the problems that are undealt with and move forth into the big unknown,” she points out with some sense of sarcasm.  Gale is hopeful, he was forced to be economical and practical but he’s always been a dreamer.

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like, you need to tell your family that we’ve been raising her separately for four years.”

 

He seems to be taken aback by her blatantness.  But then he shrugs.  “Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Yeah, okay.  That needs to change, but it’s hard for me.  We can figure out all of that later.”

 

“You’re just going to let go of a campaign that you’ve been spearheading for Kota’s entire life?”

 

“Literally everything about our relationship and our parenting is arbitrary right now Madge, I don’t know why you’re so shocked,” Gale laughs humorlessly, he’s clearly thrown all care for mannerisms out the window.  “I’m just ready for our relationship to mean something again, aren’t you?”

 

Madge wonders why he’s stopped walking and realizes that they’ve arrived at his condo.  Gale’s still giving her that hopeful look, the one that he’s been donning throughout this whole walk home.  She has no more words left to give him but she bites her tongue anyways.

 

“I… I can’t do this right now, Gale.  I agree with most of what you’re saying but… I don’t know how to do this,” she whispers at him.  He’s close enough to pick up the sound anyway.

 

“You’re too cerebral.”

 

“And you’re too impulsive,” Madge retorts.  He bites his lip for a second and stares for an eternity, maybe still trying to formulate arguments.  Maybe they’ve exhausted all that’s left though, because after a while he nods resignedly and glances at his building.

 

“Okay.  I’m going to go,” he bids, swallowing every word.  She feels bad, because she knows that she's leaving him empty handed.  Madge wants to give him something, anything to soothe Gale after he just bore his heart out.  She's never been that kind of girl though, so she gives him a curt nod.  

 

“Bye.”

 

Madge watches him walk deliberately into his building, and she sits on the bench outside for a while letting the wind blow at her hair and still calculating the whole situation.  

 

Maybe she's paralyzed by clarity, but when she thinks about it nothing Gale admitted or said was extremely shocking.  She could've pieced his ideas together herself.  And sure, her chest hurt when he kept throwing words like “love” and sentiments of regret at her, but that's just Gale, he just does that to her.

 

Gale's right, though, about her being too cerebral.  She wants to prove him wrong, wants to run after him and do something that she hasn't thought through to the utmost extent.  Even if he'd allegedly love her anyways, but Madge is tired of being an afterthought.

 

It's then that her heart starts to fidget, and for the first time in so long Madge sets it free, letting her brain take the backseat.  

 

“Oh, fuck it.”

 

She gets up from the bench and paces into the lobby.  It's humorous to her that she's spent the whole night chasing Gale Hawthorne through apartment buildings.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think that's what you call a cliffhanger...? But I guess not, because you all know what's going to happen anyway.
> 
> Please drop a comment if you enjoyed it! I sure enjoyed writing this one.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning on this one!

In the nighttime, Madge needs to be buzzed in before she can get up to Gale’s condo.  She tells the night guard his address and waits patiently for him to permit her to go up.  For a second she wonders if he’ll let her up at all, he might be genuinely angry at her for their argument they just had.  Maybe he doesn’t want to hear more, isn’t it too little too late?  But after her brain starts to delve into all the reasons she should turn back, the night guard gives her the okay.  She paces into the elevator before she can think twice.

 

The elevator feels like it’s taunting her as she taps her foot nervously and waits for it to ascend to Gale’s floor.  Madge has been here hundreds of time before, but never in circumstances quite like this before.

 

When she walks down the hall and turns the corner, Gale is already waiting outside his door.  He hasn’t changed yet out of the clothes he wore to Thom and Delly’s.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, probably thinking there was some terrible emergency by the way she’s striding towards him.

 

“Nothing,” Madge laughs as she reaches his place.  She pushes out any thoughts of doubt before she pushes him against the door.

 

“Then what are you-”

 

She kisses him softly, and even though it’s unexpected and it cuts off Gale’s words, the way their lips touch is still gentle and comfortably eager.  The heels she’s had on all day, uncomfortable as they are, make it easy for Madge to tilt her chin up and kiss him proper.  Even though it’s a surprise, Gale doesn’t gasp.  Instead he gives her a sharp inhale, one that urges her closer while his hand cradles her face.

 

Madge feels like her body is lit up; she’s kissing Gale hard in the dimly lit hallway and she can hear his heart beating when she presses herself against his chest.  She accused him for being too impulsive, but maybe she understands why he never hesitates to act upon the things he wants, because it feels good, the release and the reward for being certain and secure are cathartic in ways that Madge can only remember from the years she was dating him.  He used to make her willing to take chances, and that’s something she’ll always give Gale credit for.

 

Gale’s pressed against the door and groaning by the time she pulls away.

 

“I can’t remember the last time you kissed me,” he admits in a whisper, and it makes Madge scoff.

 

“We kissed three days ago.”

 

“It’s different when you do it,” he replies with shyness.  Madge knows what he’s talking about, and she’d forgotten how much she missed his vulnerability when they were together.  She rewards him with a kiss against the skin of his rough jaw and trails it up to his ear.  It gets a moan out of him, and suddenly Gale opens his apartment door and nods her in.

 

“She’s asleep.  Just try to be quiet.”

 

The idea of sneaking around their daughter almost makes her laugh.  But instead she complies, quietly hanging her coat up at his front closet and following him to his bedroom.

 

“Did the babysitter just leave?”

 

“Yeah, I just sent her home,” he nods, tugging at her hand and bringing her closer to the bed.  Gale kisses her nape and he necks her playfully; it causes her to giggle and wrap her arms around his neck.  He maneuvers her onto the bed so that she’s underneath.

 

Madge can’t help but moan.  Gale is stiff on top of her and this entire room smells like his aftershave.  She thinks about how far this whole thing could go and how far she’s comfortable taking it and realizes that they’re different things.  “Gale… I can’t have sex with you tonight.  Well, I don’t think I’m ready.  You get that, right?”

 

“Of course, I… I don’t think I could do it either.  You mean so much to me, I couldn’t just let it happen right now with no forethought.  I don’t think I’d do myself justice,” Gale chuckles.

 

She laughs with him, and then props herself up so that she’s sitting upright, back against his bedframe.  Gale scoots to sit beside her and listen.  “And I just came up here because I don’t want you to think I was listening to what you said, or didn’t feel the same way.  I do, I just sometimes don’t know how to  _ do  _ it, I need to think every possibility and liability before I  _ act  _ and I-”

 

“I know that about you, and that’s okay.  I understand.”

 

“But I just feel horrible for it.”

 

“Why?  You didn’t do anything wrong,” he chuckles.

 

Madge laughs nervously and turns fully to him.  “But maybe I did.  I don’t know.”

 

“Don’t beat yourself up for things you can’t control, or don’t really matter,” Gale offers.  “I don’t care that you left me hanging, I don’t blame you for any of this.  You’re here now, and that’s the best outcome I could ask for.  I hoped that you would give me a second chance, I’m glad you did, that’s why I-”

 

“Don’t say it yet,” she insists, smiling with excitement.  Even if she’s heard it hundreds of times before, the anticipation of the words now have her heart racing again.  Everything feels new, she wants the words to mean something the next time their whispered.

 

“What are we waiting for?” he asks back, teasing her.

 

“I don’t know, I just feel like everything is happening so fast.”

 

“Doesn’t it always, with us?”

 

“I want to slow it down this time,” Madge shrugs.  She doesn’t mean slow down the kissing, or slow down their relationship necessarily.  It’s just that she wants to savour these things, and it’s hard to do so when they’re all happening so fast.

 

Gale nods in silent agreement, and so she finalizes their consensus with another kiss.  It’s a gentle one, and Madge feels like she’s on that bench again from sophomore year, kissing him until she runs out of air to breathe.  

 

She doesn’t  _ think _ that she’s spent four years missing him.  That’s simply untrue, everything was normal and manageable on her own, if anything Madge loved it for a while.  It taught her to be on her own and mostly, happy, and Gale should make no mistake in thinking that he’s filling some sort of emotional hole he’s left empty for years and years.

 

But this is all so exciting and wonderful and new in the most nostalgic way.  Madge couldn’t bear it if she didn’t at least try, to figure out what it all means.

 

“You can stay,” Gale whispers against her mouth after a while, trailing his kissed around her mouth and down the nape of her neck.

 

“I have work tomorrow,” Madge replies sadly, wishing she could stay the night and stay with him.  Maybe he would cuddle with her, and she would hear the pace of his breathing when he slept.  “I have to get home.”

 

“Okay.  I’ll see you… on Friday though.”  He’s going to drop Dakota off at her place.  Even the thought of their weekly schedule seems foreign and distant from this bedroom, these kisses.

 

“Yeah.  You could stay for a little bit at my place.  On Friday, I mean, after you drop her off,” she offers hopefully, and Gale smiles with surprise.

 

“Sure, I think that would be good.”

 

“Okay, I- I think I have to go.”  She only notices now, how silent the apartment is.  She’s about to awkwardly crawl off of the bed and find her coat when Gale pulls her in for one last kiss, and then a tight hug.

 

“I missed you,” he admits, and it warms Madge’s heart.  Things are changing and she wants to find out more.  

 

“I missed you too.”

 

* * *

 

Madge tries to continue to live like nothing is different.  When she gets home that night she doesn't talk to Jo about any of it, because she seems tired too, Madge tries to tell herself.  And the next morning, they're both in too much of a hurry.  She's going to tell her friend about her and Gale, whatever they are, but the conversation can't just be a offhanded comment and then business as usual.  It needs to be fully fleshed out, and God knows when they'll find that time in their busy lives.

 

At work she can maintain some level of normalcy, there hasn't been any news about the curator position - Madge doubts that Haymitch is that quick in reviewing applications - and everyone seems to mind their own business.

 

There's still a mental countdown in Madge's head; there's one more day until she can see Dakota, one day until she's not alone anymore.  But now she also thinks that she'll see him tomorrow, and that acute feeling of solitude that she'd always get on boring work nights like these has dissipated quite a bit.

 

Especially when she hears her cell phone ring.  She knows who it is immediately.

 

"Hello?"

 

"Hey Undersee."

 

"Gale," Madge sighs happily.  She's just in her bedroom reading before she planned to go to sleep.  The shower she just had along with a mixture of life changes have her feeling rather fresh.

 

"How was your day?"

 

"Could you ask me something less cliche?" she challenges, and she hears Gale chuckle into the phone.

 

"Okay, what's on your mind right now?"

 

"... the weather."

 

"Really?  You're going to jibe me for resorting to cliches?"

 

"No, really.  I'm thinking about the weather.  It's getting really cold... I don't like it."

 

"Just think about the beach."

 

Madge groans, just thinking about a hot, sunny, tropical island.  "Don't tease me."

 

"I'll try not to," he answers back, causing her to blush red.  It's a blessing that he can't see her through the phone.

 

"Good," she replies justly.  "Why'd you call me?"

 

"I just tucked Kota into bed, started thinking about you.”

 

“How is she?”

 

“She misses you, all the time.  I keep reminding her that one day is not that long of a time.”

 

“That’s cute.”

 

“She’s such a drama queen,” Gale laughs adoringly.  “KoKo loves to be melodramatic sometimes.”

 

“I know, but she takes herself very seriously.  Did you know she gets, like, stressed out by school?  She gets stressed out by senior kindergarten,” she brings up, amused by just thinking about her little girl eager to complete all of her colouring homework.

 

“I know, she always asks me to help her with her picture books but she uses the most  _ urgent _ tone.”

 

“Where do you think she gets it from?”

 

“You,” he suggests, and Madge can’t disagree.  “Maybe your dad.”

 

“You’re right.  His brain is like a pressure chamber sometimes.”  The thought crosses her mind that she should call her parents soon, catch up with them.  It’s hard these days, though.  “How was  _ your  _ day?”

 

“Do you want an answer?  Or a snarky comeback?”

 

“Shut up,” she laughs, laying back slightly on the bed.  “Really, how was it?”

 

“Busy, I don’t know.  A lot of new clients and projects.  A lot of blueprints to review.”

 

“That sounds tough.”

 

“Sometimes I just wish I was on that beach I was talking about.  It’d be warm and sunny, and I’d have no fucking blueprints to review.”

 

“Am I on your beach?” Madge smiles flirtatiously.

 

“Yeah.  Yeah, I think you are.”

 

“Is Kota?”

 

“No, is that selfish?  All I’m picturing is you and me, hot sand, a beach somewhere faraway and nice.”

 

“That’s not selfish,” she shrugs, knowing that he can’t see her body language.  Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t.  She’s too busy listening to his nonsensical ramblings to notice.  They’re talking about nothing, but for some reason it has her skin feeling prickly and warm.  “What else?”

 

“You’re wearing a swimsuit.”

 

Madge’s breath catches, but she brushes it off.  “A full bodysuit.”

 

He snorts.  “No not a bodysuit.  A bikini.”

 

“Do I look good in it?” she can’t help but ask.

 

“Stunning.  It’s… green, I think.”

 

“I don’t really wear green,” she points out.

 

“Okay, red then.  I love you in red.”

 

It's almost as if nothing's changed; they're back in college playing that stupid game, falling head over heels for each other.  Madge can picture him sitting at home right now, tucked up in bed wrapped in sheets… she wonders if he's wearing a shirt.  Sometimes when the room was warm, he'd sleep without wearing a shirt.

 

“Madge?” he says, snapping her out of the trance.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“What am I wearing?”

 

_ Nothing. _

 

She gulps. “Shorts.”

 

“Just shorts?  Alright, I think I'm beginning to like this vacation a whole lot more now,” Gale chuckles, but deeper this time.  “What are we doing?”

 

“Kissing,” Madge dares.  Her heart speeds up and she starts to feel a blush, blooming from her chest.  “You’re kissing me.”

 

“God, Madge,” he curses under his breath, but she doesn’t know if it’s from their fantasy or their reality.  “What else?”

 

“I’m touching you all over.  Your chest and your abs, but my hands are trailing down.”

 

“And your tongue?”

 

“My tongue is teasing your ear,” she says quietly.  Her body is on fire now, and when she rests her hand on her stomach it tickles her.  “I’m whispering dirty things into your ear.”

 

“Fuck, I wish you were here,” Gale admits.  Just thinking about the things he would do to her if they were together right now has Madge’s hand travelling south.  “I’d kiss your breasts.  Suck on your nipples until they tightened up.”

 

“I want that.  I’d press myself into your face and tangle my fingers through your hair.”

 

“I love when you’d do that.”

 

“Gale?” Madge asks, with total certainty that this is what she wants.  Besides, no sex doesn’t mean no other things.  She slides off her pyjama shorts and rubs her heat through her panties. “I- I’m going to touch myself.”  He groans at the other end of the line, but lets her continue.  “Do you want to touch yourself too?”

 

“Fuck yes,” he hisses back, clearly trying to restrain himself.  “You make me so hard, and you’re only using your words.”

 

“I can do other things with my mouth, too,” she imagines, letting her erotic imagination wander.  “I’d suck you off.  Start at the base and work my way up.”

 

“Madge…”

 

“I’d swirl my tongue on your tip, sometimes when I used to do that you’d moan for me.  It was so  _ sexy.  _  I’d suck on your balls while I jack you off with my hand.  Would you like that?”

 

“Mhm,” Gale breathes, Madge unravels when she pictures him right now, stroking his cock with closed eyes, thinking about her.  “Madge, are you rubbing yourself over your panties?”

 

“Yes.”  It feels good, better than good.

 

“Take them off.”

 

His demanding tone makes her whine, but she obediently complies.  “I’m so wet, Gale,” she admits.  Her pussy lips are slick and she’s practically quivering.

 

“I wish I could taste you again, I loved the way you tasted.”

 

“You don’t remember what I taste like,” Madge accuses, playfully challenging his sincerity.

 

“Sure I do.  When I’d nibble on your inner thighs you’d cry out for me, and every time I’d suck on your clit you’d go crazy, pressing my head further in between your legs until you came.”

 

“Shit,” she curses, rubbing her little clit harder.  “I’m picturing you between my thighs now.”

 

“How does my tongue feel?”

 

“So fucking good, babe.  I missed you so, so much.”

 

“What did you miss?”

 

“You.  You’re mouth and your hands.  I missed the way your cock feels inside of me, so full and hot.”  Gale doesn’t verbally respond, he only gasps and groans, so Madge takes it as a signal to continue.  “Are you mastrubating thinking about having sex with me?  Is it making your cock hard in your hand?”

 

“God, Madge.  You’re killing me,” he groans, clearly he’s letting his pleasure build up and Madge needs to hear him go first.  She slips two fingers beyond her pussy lips and sighs at the fullness.

 

“I’m so hot for you, Gale.  I’m fingering myself just thinking about you fucking me until I cum all over you.  Would you like that?”

 

“Yes,” he whispers, increasing volume as he chants the word.  “Yes, yes Madge.  I’m so close, so fucking close.”

 

“Please, I need to hear you,” Madge begs, increasing her own pace too.

 

“Oh fuck, Madge.  I’m coming.  Ah, fuck!” he hisses, so full of passion yet whispering into the phone.  Every groan and moan that comes out of his mouth shoots straight to Madge’s pussy, all she’s thinking about is him, spilling onto his stomach unable to hold back.

 

She stops the dirty talk and just pants into the phone, moaning and mewling into it while she concentrates on finishing herself.  It takes not long at all, and soon she’s crying on his name and feeling a corporal explosion that goes all the way to her toes.  It’s release like no other, it feels like nothing else.

 

“Oh my god,” Madge laughs, still coming down for air.  “Fuck.”

 

She hears Gale chuckle briefly while he also tries to stop panting.  “You’re incredible.”

 

They whisper goodbyes, tired and satiated, and when she hangs up her eyelids fall closed.  Madge is ready to call it a very, very successful day when she hears loud music on the other side of the apartment.

 

It’s late, almost midnight, so she goes to investigate.  Jo’s door is closed, and when she opens it slowly the bass and the drums leak out of the room.

 

“Jo, could you just turn your music down?  I think I’m going to sleep.”

 

Johanna looks up from her book and uses her phone to pause the music.  She nods.  “Oh okay, so you’re done having phone sex, then?”

 

It makes Madge blush bright red with embarrassment, but her friend isn’t the type to get traumatized about it.  “I’m so sorry.”

 

“Don’t worry, we’re probably almost even at this point,” she shrugs lightheartedly.  “I guess hearing you  _ scream _ his name is one way to find out that you guys are back together.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Madge repeats.  “I was going to tell you sooner, I swear.”

 

“You’re an adult, Madge, you can do whatever you want.”

 

“But we’re not back together,” she corrects.  “I don’t know… what we are.  Just trying things again, I guess.  Differently though.  I don’t know what to call it.”

 

“Don’t call it anything,” Jo suggests.  “Labels are bullshit anyway.”

 

She’s still embarrassed that her best friend overheard, but Madge is grateful that Jo is so open too.  Johanna isn’t the type to urge her to make a different decision that she doesn’t like.  She’ll support her through it all, and for that, Madge is appreciative.

 

“Okay,” she nods.  “‘Night Jo.”

 

“Goodnight.”

 

And for once, it really was a good night.  Madge slept with ease.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I just write copious amounts of fluff and phone sex and call it a chapter? Yep!  
> Am I sorry? Hell no.
> 
> Comments and kudos are cherished and loved. Thank you for reading.


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